Raised Turian
by Deadelfsgirl
Summary: A/U First Contact story, of Jane and her Turian father Ganis Vandrel. No reapers, just Jane trying to make it as a human, in a Turian world that says she doesn't belong. Garrus/Shepard pairing, with some twists and turns.
1. The Choice

**Once this idea got put into my head, I just couldn't get rid of it. So I present to you, my favorite character, Ganis Vandrel and his Daughter Jane. In a true First Contact A/U. No reapers, just Jane and her dad trying to make it, in a world that says she doesn't belong.**

**^.^**

Ganis Vandrel stretched out on his bunk, as he was taller than most Turians the already too small bed was decidedly uncomfortable. Kicking his feet out of bed, he stood and made his way to the washroom. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he shrugged dragging a talon over the latest scar on his face. His red skin was marred by such scars, received in more than his fair share of fire fights.

The First Contact War, that's what the humans were calling it; and there was no sign of anything even resembling a peace, between the Human Alliance and the Turians.

Ganis left the washroom, swung left and headed towards the elevator. As the doors were closing a grey skinned Turian jogged to the door and stuck an arm in, preventing the doors from closing.

"Major Vandrel, you're to report to the helm, the General is looking for you."

"Thank you Corporal, I'll go there now," he nodded a farewell as the doors closed.

Ganis nodded to a few men on his way towards the helm, he was still getting used to the salutes. Word was that he was about to be given a battle field commission. Commander, and possibly the chance at commanding his own ship; it was everything he had worked for, his father had died when he was young and his mother long before that. Everything he had done in his life was to make his father proud of him, wherever he was.

Ganis was what they called, a lifer. He had entered the military at fifteen and now that he was thirty-two he could retire, maybe join C-sec, and take a mate. He shook his head with a slight flutter of his mandibles chuckling at the thought of him in a civilian role. That life wasn't for him.

Pulling himself to attention as he entered the bridge, he waited for General Victus to turn and recognize him.

"Ah, Major, or should I say Commander, I received your commission just today. Congratulations, with it comes, well let's say you're receiving your first Command."

Finishing his salute Ganis kept the smile from his face.

"Thank you Sir, a command this soon though, seems," he was cut off as the General lifted a talon at him, the look on his face worried Ganis more than a little.

"It seems, you have been reassigned to Varidel, you know of it I'm sure."

"I do, but that's a holding facility, one that hasn't been used in some time."

"Well, it's being used now. We have a prisoner of war being held there, you're being sent to oversee the prisoners care."

His face must have shown his shock.

"I realize that this isn't what you had expected on your first Command post, I guarantee you though the Hierarchy will be watching you, and if this goes well you'll get your own ship."

Nodding Ganis paused, choosing his words.

"Sir, if you can tell me, why such a stir over one prisoner?"

He watched as Victus's face went very still, he cleared his throat and nodded.

"I suppose you should know the whole story. The prisoner, if you can call her that, is a child. Before you look at me like that, listen. The child's mothers name was General Shepard. You may have heard of her, she was one of the Alliance that sat on the council, the one that tried to broker peace between the Humans and us."

"Right, the summit that ended in a bloody fight. Kind of put a pin in any chance of peaceful talks."

If Victus was annoyed at Ganis talking out of turn, he didn't show it.

"Yes, the very same; not all of us wanted things to end like that though," his eyes glazed over as he stared at the far wall. "I'm sorry, the point is, General Shepard came looking for me a few weeks ago, but before she could get to me she was killed. Her child was with her, she was, bringing the child to me."

Ganis's mandibles went slack as he stared at Victus, what he was saying sounded something like treason.

"You've been in contact with an Alliance General? With all due respect Sir, are you insane?"

He continued, ignoring the accusation in Ganis's voice.

"In the weeks that we met for the summit, General Shepard and I became close, friends even. I realized there isn't much difference between us. Though my thoughts on the matter have been brushed aside, I'm afraid that this war won't stop until it's much too late. The point is, General Shepard had nowhere else to turn, well she felt that I was her best chance, for the love of her daughter, she contacted me. Asked me if I could take them captive, to keep the child out of Alliance hands, she's a biotic, and she was to be taken from her mother, taken to develop her biotic abilities. I don't know the whole story, but Anne seemed so worried, I had no choice, I had to try to help her."

"Sir, you realize if anyone knew this, you could be tried for treason; spirits, and now I know."

"I know, but I trust you Ganis, you're different, the solution to this war isn't going to be on the battle field. I promised Anne that I wouldn't let the girl be taken by the Alliance."

"Sir, if the General was that worried about her own people, doing who knows what to her child; don't you think we should be worried?"

"I don't know, what I do know, is that I need you to go there, and figure out what we are going to do with the child, perhaps find somewhere, out of the way to place her, somewhere away from the fighting. Take care of her until I can figure something out ; the Alliance thinks they are both dead, while on leave, which is only partially true. The Turian Hierarchy thinks the child is just a consequence of war."

"So, we're lying to everyone? Fantastic, I'm so glad you thought of me." Ganis stifled a groan; he was risking his own neck, for what? A promise to some human, spirits how could so much change in an hour?

"Remember Commander, there is a ship waiting for your command after this."

He nodded, that's what he would focus on, after all of this, his life would go back to normal; he would have command of his ship.

Victus tried not to chuckle, he knew Ganis was different, he was one of the few Turians he knew, who didn't hesitate to speak his mind, it had held back his advancement by a year at least.

As he left the helm, Ganis couldn't help but think about what General Victus had said, about the humans not being that different from them. He hadn't ever thought of it that way, they were in a war that showed no signs of stopping, could they really ever be friends?

ooOoo

The prison if you could call it that was small, out of the way. A perfect place to hold someone you didn't want anyone to know about. As Ganis entered the building he could hear shouting from somewhere inside, he was instantly at full alert as he moved quickly down the hall towards what he assumed was the mess hall. He stopped just inside the door; the sight that greeted him was not what he had expected.

The room was a disaster, broken plates and glasses littered the room, he barely moved in time as a glass sailed past his head and smashed on the wall behind him. Two Turians stood with their backs to him, the little human girl stood on top of one of the tables, and she was grabbing and smashing anything she could get her biotics on.

"I said stop it human, it's time for you to go back to your room. Don't make me have to come over there and get you."

Glaring at the Turian in front of her she tried to leap off the side of the table. The Turian caught her by the arm and dragged her towards him.

"You'll learn some respect child." The Turian pulled back his hand as if he would hit her and Ganis stepped forward without a second thought, grabbed his hand and tossed it to the side.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The look of shock on his face would have been comical, had Ganis not been so angry.

"Sir, we didn't expect you so soon." His hand was still clenched around the little girls arm and she squirmed trying to get away from him.

"I suggest you let go of the girl, and remove yourself from my sight, now, before I decide to remove you altogether."

The Turian looked shocked. "You can't be serious sir, over a human? You have no idea what she's like."

"There is never a good reason for someone of your size to hit a child, you could injure her severely."

Ganis stared down at the girl; she already had several marks on her pale skin. Her red fringe was limp about her face and seemed dirty, matted with what smelled like blood.

The blue skinned Turian that had a hold of her arm, released her and moved towards the door.

"I'll issue your reassignment, for now, get out of here, I expect you on the next shuttle."

The little girl had fallen to the floor when the Turian had released her. Her fringe was over her face as she leaned on her arm, she wasn't moving. Kneeling next to her Ganis lowered his voice and spoke slowly.

"You're Jane right?"

The little girls eyes lifted to his, he was shocked at the vivid green of them.

The other man stood at attention next to her, he motioned to him without his eyes leaving hers.

"If you would take my things to my quarters, I'm sure Jane here can show me her room."

The Turian didn't move at first, but finally nodded grabbing the bag Ganis had with him and moved out of the room with a salute.

Ganis searched her face, she stared right back at him, not one hint of fear. Only sadness, it filled her eyes, and as she watched him, that look pierced his heart.

"I'm sorry; he shouldn't have done that to you."

She actually shrugged at him, as she pulled herself to her feet.

"Will you show me your room?"

She nodded and pointed towards the other hall.

"Well, after you then."

When the door to where she was being kept slid open, Ganis frowned. It was little more than a closet, barely enough room for the little bed that occupied it. Shaking his head he looked down at the little girl.

"I guess we'll have to find you a different room."

She shrugged once again, and sat on the bed watching him.

"I'm Commander Ganis Vandrel. You can call me Ganis if you like. Can I call you Jane?"

She nodded, quirking her head to the side.

"Mom says I'm supposed to call people by their title, as they earned it. So you're Commander then."

He smiled, noting that her voice was very small, soft, just like her, and he couldn't help but wonder how she had handled the blows from that soldier. She was so, breakable looking.

"That's fine Jane."

They stood together in silence, those green eyes watching him.

"How old are you Jane?"

"I'm six and a half. How old are you?"

"I'm thirty-two, quite a bit older than you."

She nodded, like she was trying to decide how old that really was.

"Mom's old like you."

He smiled softly, and wondered if she knew her mother was dead. She wiped a hand across her nose and he could see the blood on the back of her hand.

"Hey, let's get you cleaned up."

She nodded and took his hand as he held it out for her. It shocked him that she would take his hand, trusting him so quickly after what had been done to her. Brave, unafraid, that was something he hadn't been expecting.

ooOoo

Their first week together was uneventful. Ganis tried to make her comfortable, finding her a better room, one with its own washroom. The first thing he realized was that she was bored, and he had no idea what to do with a child that was bored.

He was sitting alone in his quarters, waiting in vain for a message from the General. He had no idea what to do with Jane, and he kept hoping that perhaps the General knew where she would be sent. As he sat lost in thought there was a small tap at his door.

"Enter."

Jane stuck her little head through the door, before running in and hopping on the bed.

"Commander, when's mom coming back?"

Ganis spun to her, his mandibles tight against his face, spirits, what the hell was he supposed to say to that?

She watched his eyes closely, before sniffing once.

"Don't lie, like she did about dad, you can tell me she isn't coming back."

Ganis quirked a brow plate at her, she never ceased to shock him, first by not being afraid of them, now by announcing that he could tell her that her mother was dead.

"Alright then, no lies between us; your mom was killed, in the war. You know about the war?"

She shrugged. He was shocked that she didn't cry, nothing, just a calm acceptance. This child knew way too much about the harsh realities of life, for being so young.

"Yeah, I guess," she searched his face. "Do I live with you now?"

"For right now, until we can find somewhere else for you, I'm stationed here. This isn't where I actually live."

He watched her face screw up, while she thought about that.

"Where do you actually live?"

"Well, I grew up in a little colony called Randiv. But I've been in the military since I was fifteen, so I guess I live wherever they tell me to."

He almost chuckled as her face went serious, and she nodded.

"Yeah, that's how mom was," biting her lower lip she fidgeted on the bed.

"Commander, can't I just come with you when they tell you to be somewhere else?"

The question hit him hard, like he had been slapped.

"I don't think that would be," but he trailed off, as those bright green eyes stared at him with a silent plea. Trying to find something, anything to change the subject he glanced over at the door.

"Hey, Jane would you like to get outside?" She bobbed her head so hard he thought it might fall off.

"Alright then, grab your boots and let's go." She scurried out of his room, spirits; he'd dodged a bullet there. But what she had asked him, stayed with him and he couldn't block the memory of those big green eyes, pleading with him.

ooOoo

Another week and still no word from the General, Ganis lay awake in his room, staring at the ceiling. He wondered if they would ever find a place where Jane could actually live. What kind of life could she really have, if most Turians treated her as that soldier did? The brave little red-head, he didn't know what to do with her.

He was just about to drift off when screams sat him upright in his bunk. He was out and moving towards Jane's room before he even knew he was fully awake. Practically kicking the door open he moved into the room, combat ready. But there was Jane, alone on her bed staring up at him.

"Jane? What's going on, are you okay?"

She shook her head.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

She nodded, her lower lip poking out at him.

"Well, as you can see, everything is fine. I'll be back right down the hall, you know where I am."

She nodded, but didn't lie down as he moved out of her room and towards his own.

Just as he had settled down on his bed his door opened.

"Can I stay here, with you?"

He sighed, but found himself nodding at her.

Before he could move, she was bouncing towards him and had jumped on the bed next to him, curling against his side. She felt so tiny and soft, and a very warm protective feeling grew in his chest as he ran his talons through her fringe that she called hair. Spirits, this little human was burrowing directly into his heart.

ooOoo

"Commander, I think I've found a solution to our problem, I think I've found a holding facility for Jane, it's out-of-the-way, it's an orphanage for other children from this war, and she will have to be kept separated of course, for her own good. But at least it's somewhere for her to be, where she won't be completely alone."

Leaning on his hand, Ganis found himself frowning.

"Is there something wrong Commander? I thought you would be thrilled, as soon as you drop her off you'll be commanding your own ship."

Shaking his head Ganis sat forward, staring at the holo of General Victus.

"Well, Sir, I've been thinking. I want to ask permission to stay with Jane. Perhaps even take care of her, it would be better for me to do it, rather than have her be in an orphanage." Ganis stopped, what the hell was he asking?

"I only ask one thing General, that she be treated just as any other child would be, if I adopt her, I want her treated like a Turian, I want her to have the same opportunities as everyone else. That means military school and a chance to earn her way through military ranks."

Victus stared at him in silent shock, if his eyes could have burned through the screen, they would have.

"I don't think you understand what you're asking Commander. No one would ever allow a human into the military, she would never be accepted."

"General, with my record and your word I think they would give her a chance, just give me the chance to let her try. If it's true that she can't go back to the Alliance, then let her have a shot at a normal life with us, such as it is."

Victus nodded, a strange look flashing across his face.

"Alright, if this is really what you want Commander, I will allow the adoption of Jane by yourself. You know how hard it's going to be though right? No matter how you prepare her, she may never be accepted, and even if she is, she'll be in the military to fight against her own kind. I want you to think about that."

"I know Sir, but what kind of choice is it for a child to either be sent back to people who want to use her for her body, do spirits know what to her, or be sent to an orphanage where she'll just be locked in a room. We might as well have killed her."

"You've made your point Commander, I said I will allow it, I was just issuing a warning."

"I'm aware," he nodded.

As Victus turned away from the console he smiled, Ganis was just who he had hoped he was.

ooOoo

"Jane, I need you to pack your things."

She turned eyes to him that he could only describe, as angry.

"You're sending me away aren't you?" She crossed her arms over her chest, as he kneeled next to her.

"In a way yes, you and I are going home, we're going to where I grew up, that I was telling you about. I'm going to take care of you, is that okay?"

She sprang up from where she was sitting and launched herself at his chest; he caught her and held her close.

How could something so little, make him feel like this? He had never wanted a family, or anything even remotely to do with one and now all he could think about, was raising this child to have every chance that the galaxy seemed hell-bent to deny her. Well he was going to give her that chance, even if it killed him.

ooOoo


	2. Hard Knocks

The trip to Randiv was quiet, Jane had barely spoken since they had departed, besides a clipped 'yes' or 'no'. She didn't look afraid, just nervous. If he was honest with himself, he was nervous too. He had no idea how to raise a child, and even the simple thought was enough to make him slightly sick.

The house was dark, and when he opened the door, he realized just how long it had been, since he'd gone home.

"I'm sorry Jane; I haven't been here in, well, many years." She nodded wordlessly, watching as he found the lights and took stock of everything in the house.

"If you want, you can go toss your things in one of the back rooms."

Ganis watched as she wandered down the hall, pausing at each door before turning back to him.

"Which room is yours?"

"I guess, the one the end of the hall." She nodded and chose the next room down, his old childhood room; she dropped the little bag she held and stood staring at the room. It wasn't large by any means, but it had a good bed and a closet, as well as several weapon racks, that used to be his.

Jane had gone so quiet, that Ganis had to check on her just to make sure she was still in the house, he found her, standing very still staring at the room.

"Is the room alright Jane? If you don't like something, I'm sure we can change it, I'll help you pick out some things for it, down at the Colony."

She lifted shining green eyes to his and smiled.

"I like it, thanks. How long do we get to stay here?"

Ganis leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling.

"I was thinking, forever, well of course you'll be going off to the military at fifteen, but even after that, this will be your home."

Ganis chuckled softly at the slight confusion on Jane's little face. She looked as though she couldn't comprehend 'forever'.

"You'll stay too? Not just leave me here and trade with someone else when it's time for you to transfer?"

"Yeah little one, I'm staying too, this used to be my home once. I think with your help, it could be again."

Jane screwed up her face, and folded her arms over her chest, mimicking him.

"I'm not that little."

"I'd say you're rather little, and red. We match quite well don't you think?" He motioned to his skin, and then her hair.

"Yeah, but I'm still not little."

Shrugging, and giving her a smile, Ganis turned and began making a list of everything they would need, he added to the bottom of the list, 'Enroll Jane in school'. He was not looking forward to that conversation. Even if he had an order from the General, he was sure it wasn't going to be easy.

Finishing his list, Ganis found Jane, sitting on the couch in the front room; she was staring at his datapad.

"So, I was thinking. I'm going to get you your own datapad, for school. We'll start working on your reading and writing, also I'm pretty sure they won't let you wear your translator for long. Rule is, translators break, you can't rely on them. You'll need to learn Turian. I'll help with that too, we'll work hard, and I'm sure you'll do fine."

The first flash of fear he'd ever seen out of Jane, crossed her face at the word School. She could stare down an adult Turian who beat her, but school made her look, green? He would swear she was a shade of green, he hadn't known humans could change colour.

"Have you been to school before?"

"No, but I was supposed to be sent away to school soon, but that was before the General came back to get me, and I ended up with you."

"The General," Ganis asked watching her face closely, he wasn't good at human expressions but he was learning. He watched as she shrugged, but she didn't lift her eyes from the datapad as she responded.

"Mom, the General."

"You didn't live with her, when she was stationed other places?"

"No, she was busy. It was no place for a child."

She sounded like she was repeating something, told to her over and over.

"Where did you stay, you said your father," She shrugged again before he could finish.

"With people like you, the General said my father was dead."

Ganis frowned.

"What do you mean people like me? You can't mean Turians; and why do you sound like you don't believe what your mom er, the General told you?"

"No, silly," Jane tossed the datapad to the side, laughing as she looked up at him. "Sergeants, Lieutenants, Commanders," she gestured towards him, before going quiet at the next question. "She lied to me, I know 'cause she couldn't look at me when she told me, she lied to me a lot, and I got good at knowing when."

"Oh," she sounded much too old when she talked like that. "Well, I won't lie to you, I will try my hardest to always be honest with you, but I expect the same in return."

Jane nodded solemnly, "Okay, Commander."

He flinched a little at her calling him his rank, he understood now; it was how she recognised people that watched over her. Even her mom, was mom the General; and now he wasn't sure he liked her thinking of him, as just another.

"Hey, little one, I've got to head into the Colony, you'll be okay here for awhile?"

She shrugged, but nodded.

"Promise me you won't go outside while I'm gone, I know you're probably hungry, I'll take care of that when I get back, okay?"

She nodded again, "I promise I won't go outside."

Ganis nodded, glanced once more around, and left the house, locking the door behind him.

ooOoo

Spirits, Randiv was still the tiny backwater place it always had been, what had possessed him to come back here? They could have lived anywhere. 'No you couldn't have, your new daughter is human.' A tiny voice inside of him yelled; and two things caught him off guard, that he was glad to be back here in some weird way, but more surprising, he had called her his daughter. Well hell, that's what she was right? As his internal debate raged on through his shopping, he finally came to a full stop with his purchases, in front of the school.

"Here goes nothing." He mumbled as the door slid open and he walked into the front office.

Setting his things down he turned in time for a man to join him at the front.

"Can I help you Sir?"

Ganis cleared his throat and nodded.

"Yes, I need to register my...daughter."

He nodded and turned to a console.

"Your daughter's name," he paused staring up at the silence that followed.

"Sir, your daughter's name is?"

Giving in to his inner voice, Ganis tapped his talons together behind his back.

"Jane Vandrel, I'm her father, Commander Ganis Vandrel."

The other Turian's talons hovered above the console, his eyes narrowed and his mandibles pulled close to his face.

"Ah yes, Commander Vandrel. I was expecting you; I've received the message from General Victus. I need to express to you my concerns. I will not have a human disrupting my class room. She doesn't belong here, I won't argue with you over your choice to adopt a human. But you must understand Commander, she'll never fit in, it's not right. You should do her a favor, and send her back to her own kind. I'm sure there are holding facilities for this sort of thing. You don't have to," Ganis cut the man off, tapping his talon against the desk and then raising it in front of him. His eyes forward, face clear as to not show how angry he was.

"I did not ask you, for your opinion on my daughter, I simply asked you to follow through with the request from the General. Now if you would, finish the enrolment."

"She isn't wanted here, why you would force," Ganis silenced him yet again.

"I suggest that you not argue with me. If you mean to say, that you won't treat Jane fairly because she's human, tell me now so you and I can settle this."

The other Turian held up his hands in surrender.

"No, of course not Commander, the girl will suffer no ill will from me; I can't make that promise for the rest of the students though. You know of course, that the children are raised to distrust humans; their parents are fighting a war, killing them. You of all people know this; you yourself are responsible for how many? We've all heard of your medals for doing just that. You can't expect them to just accept her."

"You're right on all points, she will earn their respect the same as we all must, and I will make sure of that. It is not your place, you will teach, that is what you do. Now if this conversation is over."

The Turian nodded typing into the console. "Yes, Commander of course, I am Meridius Deritren, I will be Jane's teacher until her fifteenth birthday. It's all finished; please have her here tomorrow morning." His voice was polite, but his eyes and mandibles spoke volumes. Ganis had known this wasn't going to be easy, but just at that moment, what an uphill battle it really was became truly clear.

Ganis smiled to himself as he left the school. He had never run from any fight or challenge, and this was just another.

ooOoo

Ganis was lost in thought as he made his way towards home, he froze at the sound of his name being called, and he turned and caught the smile of someone he thought he'd never see again.

"I thought that was you, what in the name of the Goddess are you doing here?"

"Le'lani, you're still here? I figured you would have gotten out of here years ago, you still running the hospital in town?"

She laughed and looked back towards the school, which he had just come out of.

"As I remember it, the last time I saw you, you came back at what eighteen? To settle your father's affairs and you told me, you wouldn't come back to this black hole, backwater planet, if it was the last inhabitable place in the galaxy. Isn't that what you said?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that, I may or may not have said that. But, things change, I found myself in need of somewhere to call home." He stopped staring off towards the house.

"To answer your other question, yes, I'm still running the hospital, just trying to save this black hole colony one person at a time. What were you doing at the school?" She motioned behind him.

"Oh, I was enrolling my," he paused for only a heartbeat, before that inner voice won out again. "My daughter, she starts school tomorrow."

Le'lani's face fell in shock. "I hadn't heard that you had taken a mate, and had children."

Ganis shook his head, "I don't have a mate."

"Oh," her eyes widened but she didn't finish the thought, though it was written plainly on her face.

"No, it's not what you're thinking either, I adopted a girl. An orphan, from the war," before he could finish she broke down laughing.

"Ganis Vandrel, adopted a child? There is another thing I remember you harping on, that you would never ever have a mate, or children."

"Once again, things change."

"Well, where is she?"

Ganis pointed towards the hill and the house. "She stayed at home, while I went to get all the stuff we needed, and enroll her in school."

Le'lani raised a slender eyebrow in surprise.

"How old is she?

"Six, well she'll tell you that she's six and a half."

"For the love of, Ganis you can't just leave a six-year-old at home alone, you have to take her with you when you go out."

"Well I can't really take," before he could finish Le'lani grabbed one of his parcels and headed towards the house.

She unlocked the door and Ganis groaned. "Spirits, I forgot I had given you the code. Listen Le'lani, we need to talk you don't," but it was too late, she had rounded the corner and stood staring at the little girl who was fast asleep on the couch.

"Oh Goddess, you failed to mention she was human." Spinning on him, her eyebrows knit together.

"How in the hell did this happen?"

He sighed, "If you help me put this stuff away, I'll tell you the story."

She nodded, and as they unpacked, he began his story, of how he had become the father of Jane Vandrel.

"You're kidding me? You didn't get assigned her for life, you asked for it? You've changed Ganis, and I think for the better. You've grown up, something I was sure I'd never see."

He laughed.

"You don't think I'm crazy, you know for trying this?"

"Oh no, you're fully fucked in the head. But at least I know your heart is in the right place."

"Le'lani, language," his eyes darted towards the couch and she broke down into another fit of laughter.

"You really have changed. I tell you what Ganis, if you're serious about this, which I can tell you are, I'll help. First off, I noticed you didn't get any other food, just Turian food, she can't eat your food."

"She's been eating it since the holding facility, it hasn't bothered her yet." His face was confused and Le'lani looked concerned.

"That's odd, I don't know. I'd like to scan her if you don't mind, just quickly, to make sure everything is okay."

Ganis nodded, "Sure that would be great, it would make me feel better anyways."

She nodded and scanned Jane quickly, walking back to the table where Ganis was making her jasmine tea. She smiled up at him, touched that he remembered. Looking down at her omni-tool, she frowned and Ganis instantly caught it.

"What, what is it?"

"Did you know she's a biotic?"

He released his breath in a long sigh.

"Oh, that, yeah I knew that, though I was hoping we could just ignore it, it's going to be hard enough to get everyone to accept she's human, but a human biotic. Why don't we just try to build a mass effect core from dirt?"

"I can help with that too Ganis, Asari, biotic, remember? I can help teach her to control it, so she doesn't lose control when her emotions get the better of her. It's an asset, if she can control it properly."

Nodding, he smiled.

"That would be great Lani, I'm glad I ran into you, and that, you know, you're still here, in the black hole."

She smiled at his use of her old nickname and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm glad I'm here too," She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "I mean, if I wasn't you'd make a huge mess of this, you're lucky I'm here to save you."

ooOoo

That night at supper, Ganis began teaching Jane Turian, she seemed to grasp on quickly and was very eager to learn to read.

The next morning though, she was anything but eager, as she dragged her feet on their way to school. He hated it, in a weird way he felt like he was dragging her to her execution.

Kneeling next to her he hugged her gently and she returned it, squeezing her little arms around his neck as tightly as she could. Nuzzling his forehead against hers, he looked her straight in the eye.

"I'll be right here when you get out okay?"

Nodding she let go of him and walked slowly into the building and out of his sight. Spirits, how was he going to make it through the day?

ooOoo

Jane was shown to a seat at the back of the class, the looks she was getting were making her feel like one of the fish in her old Sergeants fish tank. Except maybe she was a fish with three heads. She realized that the looks were the same ones that Turian back at the base had given her, they hated her. She didn't care though; Ganis wanted her to do this, so she would. Stiffening her spine she listened as intently as she could, aware that she needed to learn as much as possible before they took her translator away.

She tried to sit far away from everyone at lunch, hiding, as much as she was trying to give them their space.

Just before they were to go back to class, a few older boys, ones from a different class approached her.

"Human, what the hell are you doing here? My mom says Commander Vandrel has lost his mind, and you're the reason, he was a war hero you know, kill hundreds, even maybe thousands of you."

The second boy laughed and elbowed him. "Maybe we'll get to use her for target practice."

Jane narrowed her eyes at them, but kept her mouth shut, she knew that Turians and humans hadn't gotten along, that the war caused death, she knew that much. The General had always spoken well of a few Turians, told her that people were generally the same, no matter where in the galaxy they were from. Good or bad. So she held her tongue, these boys were no different than the ones back at the human base.

"She's not talking to us it seems, maybe we should make her talk."

The first boy grabbed her by the hair and pulled, the second landed a hit square to her face and she fell back to the ground, angry, her hands began to glow, but before anyone could notice, another boy stepped up to her side. The Turian that had her hair, pulled her back up again and then shoved her to the ground, kicking her in the side.

The boy standing at her side quickly stepped in front of her.

"Touch her again, and I'll be forced to beat you. Both of you and you know I can do it."

"Get out of the way Kryik, or we'll go through you, to get to the human."

"You heard Meridius, she's one of us, she's been adopted by the Commander."

The one closest to him kicked dirt at Jane and hissed. "She'll never be one of us; she'll always be a filthy human."

With the sound of the bell the two walked away and he sighed, glad he didn't have to fight today, he'd already had to stay after class too often, and his mother would have had a fit.

He turned and held out a hand for Jane.

"Come on; let's go before teacher comes to find us."

Jane grabbed his hand and let him pull her up.

"I'm Nihlus Kryik, and you're the Commanders daughter, Vandrel. Sorry about them."

Jane shrugged, the boy, Nihlus must have been about her age, because he was in her class, but he was larger than she.

"Don't worry about it; I'm kind of used to it."

"Yeah, Turian, human relations aren't really the best."

Jane shrugged again.

"No, well most humans I knew didn't like me either."

Nihlus frowned, "Oh, sorry."

"Thanks Nihlus."

With that Jane walked away from him, head down, lip bleeding, back into the class. He jogged to keep up with her but she didn't look his way again, keeping to herself, until when the last bell rang and she was gone before he could talk to her.

ooOoo

Ganis was waiting right where he said he would, when Jane walked out of the school, late in the afternoon.

She took his hand when he offered it to her and he stared at her face, his mandibles went slack, he had expected something, but not this soon. Her eye was black, her lip puffy and split.

"Jane, what happened?"

She shook her head, "nothing."

"That doesn't look like nothing, little one."

She pulled on his hand, leading him home, without another word.

ooOoo

That night Ganis sat at the table, he had tried to fix his pistol which had become jammed out on the range, he couldn't seem to clear the heat sink and it was driving him crazy. Jane was sitting quietly with her datapad trying to make sense of her first lessons; he stood and walked into the kitchen.

As he grabbed a drink and turned around to lean against the counter he sucked in a breath. Jane had the pistol in her hands and he made to tell her to drop it, but before the words were out of his mouth, she cleared the heatsink, adjusted it and reloaded it, all in the single beat of a heart.

His mandibles went slack, as he watched her set it back down and turn her head back to the datapad.

"Where, in the," he stopped himself from cussing and started again. "Jane, where did you learn that?"

She frowned as she heard the tone of his voice.

"The last sergeant I was with and the General. I'm sorry, don't be mad."

Ganis quickly shook his head and knelt next to her, leaning his forehead briefly against hers for reassurance.

"I'm not mad little one, not at all, I'm thrilled. I know what we're going to be doing in our spare time, and it's fantastic. You're one amazing little girl. Though, I wish you would tell me about what happened today."

She frowned biting down on her split lip.

"I hate it Commander, they hate me, just like everyone else. I'm stupid, ugly and I'll never fit in. I hate it and I don't want to go back."

Ganis nodded slowly, and ran his talon over her nose softly.

"Is that what all these kids are telling you?"

"Yes, I'm a filthy human here, just like I was the spoiled brat back there."

"Do you believe what they say about you?"

She shrugged at him. "I dunno."

"Well, my little one, you know those things are only true, if you start to believe them. If you don't believe them, they have no power over you. And remember, in life, we get what we get, and we don't complain. That being said, any problem like this, you tell me, and we'll deal with it, this is going to be hard Jane, I know. You're going to have to try ten times as hard as everyone else, you're going to have to work for every inch you get, but when you do, you'll know that you earned every single inch, and that you won, in spite of them."

She stared at him, her green eyes unfathomable depths as he stared back at her; reaching out her hand she touched his mandible and leaned forward wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Now, was there anything good at all, about today?"

She nodded, "there was a boy, named Nihlus, and he didn't hit me or call me human once, he used my name. He said I was your daughter. Commander is that true?"

Ganis smiled reached out a talon and brushed her hair back.

"Yeah Jane, I'd like to be your dad, if you'd let me. But I think you're already too used to calling me Commander."

Jane gasped and squeezed him tighter.

"No, I want you to be my father; I've wished every night since I met you that you could be my dad. That you really were, but I'm scared."

Ganis chuckled, "My little one, scared? You weren't even afraid that first day I met you."

She shook her head, "No, not scared of him, he was just like the others. I'm scared you're going to leave, like the General. Or decide I'm not worth the trouble."

"You're worth it little one, every bit of you. We'll make it through this together, I promise. Can I tell you a secret?"

Jane nodded once again so serious it almost made him laugh, but keeping a straight face he sat her back from him.

"I love you little one, I've never loved anything or anyone in my life, but I love you. I'll do my best to help you make it through this."

Her little green eyes welled up and she collapsed against him. The look on her face when he had said it almost ripped his heart in two; it was like she had never heard those words before. Well she would hear them now, and often. For it was true, he had never loved anything more than himself, until that very moment.


	3. Consequences

"Hold it, Jane you must keep up your concentration." Jane's face was scrunched up and as red as her hair, as she held the biotic shield in place.

Le'lani clapped and nodded. "Very good, you may release it now. You're very good at this, for someone so young. You're a very talented biotic, even without proper training."

As Jane released the shield her breath went with it, and she collapsed on the couch and shrugged in Lani's direction. "You've made me do this for months."

"Yes Jane, but it can take years for someone to be able to control their biotics. Especially humans, they aren't natural biotics I've been told, and must have their powers regulated with implants. You on the other hand are a natural." Lani trailed off as she watched Jane cross her arms over her chest and lean back.

"I hate when you say 'human' like that, the Commander said I've picked up reading and writing Turian like it was my own. I don't want you to call me human."

Lani nodded, arguing with Jane when she was in this mood did no good. "Alright then, Jane repeat to me the one rule we have, then we'll start supper, your dad will be home soon."

Jane's Turian was still slow and she sometimes struggled with the pronunciation of things, but other than that, it was almost flawless and she had been on Randiv for only six months, but Lani smiled thinking of what Ganis had said, and had to admit he was right. She had picked up Turian as if she had been born to it.

"The one rule," Jane screwed up her face in thought and repeated. "The one rule is that I will never use my biotics, unless my life is in danger." She frowned as she looked up to Lani. "But what if you or the Commander is in trouble?"

Lani laughed and stood turning towards the kitchen. "Your dad and I are very capable of taking care of ourselves. You are never to put yourself in harm's way to help us."

She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip.

"What about someone my age?"

"And who would you be talking about?" Lani turned back and watched a little blush cross Jane's nose.

"Nobody, I was just wondering."

"I would say that if someone your age was in trouble you must do what you have to. But remember, school yard fights are different; you're not to use your biotics at school. Understood?"

Jane nodded.

"Very good Jane, now come into the kitchen and you can help me cook." Jane groaned as she slid off the couch.

"But, Lani I hate cooking, can't I just wait for the Commander to be home and we can go to the range, he promised he'd let me shoot his sniper rifle."

Lani shook her head with a small chuckle. "Help me first, and then after we eat, your dad might take you out to the range."

"Daaaad," Jane rolled the word around in her mouth. "If the Commander is my dad, does that make you my mom now?"

If she had not been paying attention, Lani would have cut herself.

"No, your dad and I aren't mates, Jane you know that. Here, help me wash these." Jane scooted a chair to the sink and began washing, her face screwed up in thought.

"How come, I mean how come you're not mates? You're always here, and he likes you."

The bowl in her had slipped and clattered to the floor, "what do you mean he likes me Jane?"

"I dunno, he talks about you all the time, and he always asks where you are if you aren't here, even though he knows you're at your." Jane paused, not able to think of the Turian word.

"Hospital is the word you're looking for Jane."

She nodded, "yeah that, anyway he likes you. I can tell."

Trying to change the subject, Lani picked up the bowl and collected the dishes for the table.

"Jane, would you set the table please."

Jane jumped off the chair, happy for any excuse to be out of the kitchen, she really was turning into her father's daughter.

"Hey, Jane can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," Jane nodded, setting the table one thing at a time, lining up everything perfectly. The child was a perfectionist when it came to such things.

"Why do you call Ganis Commander?"

"I dunno, I guess 'cause that's what he is, everyone else calls him my dad, I know. I just, what if he leaves? Or I have to leave; it's easier to leave a Commander, than my dad, right?"

Lani stopped what she was doing and spun towards Jane at the table, kneeling next to her taking her shoulders in her hands. "Jane, your dad won't leave you, you're here with him until you enter the academy at fifteen. He'll always be your dad, you said you think he likes me, well I know he loves you."

"I know, he tells me." Lani was so shocked at all of this and the nonchalant way she spoke of it all, like she was used to being tossed aside.

"Do you believe him?"

"Yeah," Jane finished setting the table and turned towards her room. "I know what you're saying, thanks Lani, I'm going to go finish my school work."

And with that she was in her room lying on her stomach, staring at her datapad.

Le'lani had just finished dinner when the door swished open, Jane was off her bed and jumping towards Ganis before Lani could even turn towards the door.

"Dad, Lani said we could go out to the range after supper, you'll take me right?"

He chuckled as he caught Jane and hugged her to his chest, as she pulled back looking him right in the eyes and called him dad his heart swelled.

"Oh, Lani said I was taking you did she?"

"Jane, you know I didn't say that, I said he might," Jane turned in Ganis's arms and grinned.

"Yeah, same thing," Lani shook her head and sat their food on the table.

"Alright little one, I'll take you to the range after we eat. How was school?"

Jane frowned as he sat her down, "the classes are okay, and I understand things. But they still hate me."

"It will take time little one, what about Nihlus? Do you see him much?" Ganis had to stifle a smile as he watched the blush spread over her small face.

"No, I don't talk to anyone besides teacher, I" Ganis lifted a talon and Jane stopped.

"Sweetheart, you need to talk to make friends, Nihlus seems like a good boy, I knew his father, and he was a good man too."

"What if his mom doesn't want him around me? You know, because, well 'cause I'm me."

"Jane, we can't live our lives on what might happen, we must act and deal with our consequences. I think you should give him a chance. Besides, if you don't talk to anyone, they can't get to know and love you like I do."

"Daaaad," Jane rolled her eyes, as Ganis laughed.

"Alright you two, finish your supper so you can go to the range, and do whatever it is you two do."

"We shoot things Lani, what else is there to do?"

It was said in such a matter of fact tone, that Lani couldn't help but laugh with Ganis, Jane joined in, and it was the best sound Ganis had heard in many years.

ooOoo

Nihlus was standing waiting his turn in line for hand to hand, when Jane stepped up next to him.

"Hey, Nihlus," she looked around them, seemingly looking for something to say, finally her eyes landed on the sparing ring. "Do you want to spar?"

Nihlus was taken back, he couldn't believe she was standing there talking to him, let alone asking him to spar. He had been sure she hated them all. He meant to ask why she was asking him, but instead he just nodded.

When it came for their turn in the ring, Nihlus set his mind on going easy on her, he reminded himself of that day when he had helped her up from the ground, and how soft she had been. He didn't want to hurt her, and make her afraid of him. He didn't strike first, instead waiting for Jane to advance on him, he deflected two of her first strikes towards his chest and face, sweeping at his legs she knocked him off balance and as he stumbled back she landed three quick strikes to his chest and abdomen. She stepped back and let him regain himself before she advanced again, this time he landed a hit to her side and felt the softness give under his hand and he pulled back as if he had been burned.

Jane frowned at him as he pulled back from her and jumped from the ring, walking towards the building, the others in the yard tossed taunts her way as she walked. Asking her if she was broken, or if she was going to cry; keeping her head high she continued into their class room without stopping. And Nihlus caught up with her at the door.

"Jane, what's wrong?"

She spun to him, her eyes narrowed on his face.

"Why did you do that Nihlus? You held back, you were afraid to hit me. My dad has taught me to spar, you don't have to do that, you don't have to act like I'm going to break. It makes the others see me as nothing, nothing but," Nihlus laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I made them see you as a human, I get it now. Why you haven't talked to me, why you avoid them. I get it, and I'm sorry Jane, I wasn't thinking. How 'bout, we start over, I swear not to treat you like a human."

She nodded and stuck out her hand, and he took her wrist in his and they shook on it.

ooOoo

From that moment on, Nihlus and Jane did almost everything together, they studied together, spared together, and he even came on trips to the Range with Ganis and her.

It was a few months after her eighth birthday, when the class was on a field trip, they had studied survival techniques and the history of Palaven, they were all taught about it, as if it was their home planet, though none of them had ever seen it.

Nihlus and Jane spent most of their time away from the others, Nihlus to his credit never showed one sign that the names his classmates called him because he spent so much time with Jane actually mattered.

It was hot out, and everyone was tired, they had spent the latter part of the afternoon climbing a steep hill and they were at the top, their teacher was pointing out something in the sky and the sun, telling them how to be able to tell what direction there were going. Jane was standing towards the back, watching a few of their classmates throwing things over the cliff to their side. Jane heard the rock crumble just before she watched, Tyrinus fall. Tyrinus was one of the boys in her class, who had spent the better part of that year, taking any chance he could to call Jane names, not to mention, the physical abused he dished out on her on almost a daily basis, she and Nihlus had stayed after class more than once because of fights started thanks to him.

Without thinking, Jane was at the cliff, she slid to her knees looking over the edge, Tyrinus had fallen quite a ways, but had stopped on another small cliff about half way down. She quickly glanced around them, the others were moving their way quickly and Jane didn't have much time to think, so she scooted to her bottom and carefully controlling her slide with her biotics she landed on the ledge next to Tyrinus.

"Tyrinus, are you okay?" His eyes opened slowly, and as he took in her face his mandibles fluttered slightly, Jane knew that look, he was in pain.

"It's okay Tyrinus, I'll get you down." Jane took a quick look up the cliff; still only seeing Nihlus, she covered both herself and Tyrinus with her biotics and slowly slid the rest of the way down the cliff. As they reached the ground, Jane shook Tyrinus gently.

"Tyrinus, can you stand?"

He nodded and stood, almost toppling over; Jane quickly caught him and placed his arm around her neck.

"Vandrel, are you two okay down there?" Their teacher Meridius called from the top of the cliff.

"Yeah, we got lucky slid most of the way down, Tyrinus just got a little winded."

"We'll be right around." And with that their teacher and class was gone.

Tyrinus lifted his eyes to Jane, she could read his expression perfectly, and he was confused.

"Why, did you do that, hum," she knew he was about to call her human, but cut himself short. "Why did you to that Jane?"

"Because it was the right thing to do, my dad says, no matter what, we always do the right thing."

Tyrinus sighed, "I'm sorry Jane, you know, for all the stuff I did to you in class. I shouldn't pull your hair. I promise stuff will be different; I owe you."

ooOoo

That night, back at her house Jane, picked at her food not looking up at either her dad, or Lani. Ganis watched her closely, knowing something was bothering his little girl. He cleared his throat and reached across the table, drawing his talon gently under her jaw, forcing her to look up at him.

"What's bothering you Jane?"

She swallowed slowly, before looking him directly in the eye.

"I broke the one rule, dad. I used my biotics outside of the house."

He nodded, not saying anything, letting her continue.

"It was for a good reason, a boy at my school, he fell down a cliff, I didn't know if he was okay or not, the others were too far away, I slid down after him, I used my biotics to get us to the bottom of the cliff, I'm sorry dad, I know. But I made my choice, and I'm ready to deal with the consequences." Ganis smiled as she lifted her chin slightly, a brave gesture and he nodded.

"I understand, you made the right choice sweetheart, I'm glad you were able to make a choice, and be willing to deal with whatever may have come from it. You learned a very important lesson today."

"You're not mad daddy?" His mandibles spread wide in a smile as she called him daddy.

"No little one, I'm not mad, I'm proud of you."

She smiled slipped out of the chair and came around the table, throwing her arms around his neck, and his heart melted.

ooOoo

"Daaaaaaad, I'm going out with Nihlus, we're headed up the hill, and I'll be back later."

"Jane, I don't think you should be," but he was cut off as he heard the door hiss closed. He tossed a glance at Le'lani who was leaning against the counter smiling at him.

"I think I had better go after her, I don't think they should be running all over the hills back there, what if something." He stopped short as Lani took a step towards him, laying her hand over his. Ganis let his eyes rest on her hand before he lifted his gaze to hers.

"She'll be fine, she's with Nihlus, and they are okay. Let her play, like children do."

"Lani, she's only eight, what if something was to happen while they are out?"

"I remember you at eight, your father couldn't keep you inside if he wanted to, let her be. You're doing an amazing job; I see so much of you in her already." She ran her hand up his arm over his shoulder and to his mandibles, she let it rest there until Ganis sighed, and leaned into her touch.

"I couldn't have done this without your help," he paused searching her face. "Lani, I wasn't sure you'd feel the same way, I know the way I left the last time, saying I wasn't coming back, leaving you here," he trailed off as Le'lani shook her head slowly.

"I've always felt the same way about you Ganis, it didn't change, I had this feeling I'd see you again. I missed you, and since you've been back, I realize that I love you, and Jane."

"I missed you, though I didn't realize it until I thought it was too late, and I never loved anything besides myself until Jane, she's taught me more about myself then I ever thought possible. And I realize now," His voice was a low growl as he dipped his head towards hers and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too."

ooOoo

The day was hot, as Jane sprinted with Nihlus towards the top of the hill behind their houses. Panting Jane reached the top first, spun and Nihlus ran right into her, laughing they tumbled to the ground and rolled over, staring at the blue sky above them, a slight warm breeze swept over the hill and Nihlus leaned up on his hand, staring at Jane.

"I'm really glad your dad adopted you, you know that? I never had any friends before you came along. Can I ask you something Jane?"

Without moving her eyes from the sky she nodded.

"How did you save Tyirnus, and don't give me that crap story that you gave our teacher, I know you couldn't have slid that entire way with not even a scratch on you."

Jane frowned but still didn't turn towards him. "I can't tell you; I promised not to, it's kind of a secret."

Nihlus thought about this for a moment before nudging her. "Isn't that what friends do though Jane? They tell each other things they can't tell anyone else?"

She sat up at that, turning towards him and crossing her legs, she let her fingers drag through the dirt and grass.

"Okay, but you have to swear you won't tell anybody, not ever or I swear I'll pummel you."

Nihlus held up his hands with a laugh. "I believe you, and I swear on the spirits I won't tell anybody. On penalty of having you 'pummel' me," his chuckle had a soft growl to it and she reached forward swatting at him.

"Fine, I'll tell you. I have, biotics, you know, like Le'lani."

Nihlus's frowned, "really? Wow, that's something Jane, you know they have a whole division of the military for people with biotics."

Jane was shaking her head before he even finished his thought.

"No way, I'm gonna be a sniper like my dad, I don't like my biotics, and I've been told never to talk about them or use them unless I was in danger. So don't ever talk about them, okay Nihlus?"

"Yeah, I got it Jane, geez relax. That's what best friends are for."

"Best friends?" Jane quirked her head to the side, thinking about the term, "We're best friends Nihlus?"

He took her hand in his and drew a small line on the palm with his talon; she didn't flinch as she watched it well with blood, and he did the same with his hand, and then pressed the palms together, his dark blue blood mixing with her crimson, and smiled.

"Yeah we are, forever."

ooOoo

They didn't notice anything that different at school the next few weeks, except for the fact that Tyrinus and his friends left them alone. It wasn't until one day at lunch that anyone knew anything was different.

A group of older kids approached Jane and Nihlus, Nihlus was grabbed and thrown to the ground as Jane was being backed towards the outer wall of the building, when Tyrinus stepped in front of her, his friends at his side.

"Back off, Vandrel is with us."

"What? You're a human lover now Tyrinus," The older boy sneered.

"I don't see a human, I see a Vandrel, like I said, and she's with us."

With a snort in their direction the older kids turned and strode back to their class and Tyrinus turned to Jane.

"Don't worry about him, he thinks he's better than all of us, because his dad is from Palaven." Tyrinus rolled his eyes. "Hey, you and Nihlus up for some sparing?"

He motioned towards the ring and Jane threw a glance towards Nihlus and he nodded.

"Yeah, sure if you promise not to go easy on me," she tossed him a smirk and he nodded.

"I'll treat you the same as I do everyone else, we all will. Isn't that right?"

There were a few nods and yes' and even a smile or two. As they walked towards the ring, Nihlus bumped his shoulder against Jane's and smiled.

"You know, nothing will ever be the same now." Jane laughed and thought of something she heard her dad say all the time and nodded adding.

"Thank the Spirits for that."


	4. Changes

Jane had barely finished eating when she saw the lights at Nihlus's house click on in the darkness. Dumping her plates next to the sink she was trying to make a break for the door when Ganis cleared his throat and she froze where she stood.

"Where do you think you're going little one?"

"Nihlus is home, they've been gone to Palaven for six months. You know that dad. There is so much that has happened, with you and," She paused looking over at Le'lani, who her dad had just taken to mate. "You know, with you and mom and he missed my eleventh birthday, I got that new sniper rifle and," Ganis held out his arms and Jane halted her dictation of what she needed to tell Nihlus, and folded herself into his embrace.

"Now, don't you think you should let them get settled in first, before you go running over there? Give it an hour or so, and sweetheart, when you do go over, why don't you try using the front door. At least ours, no sneaking out your window again now that Nihlus is back, let us know you're leaving, and go out the front."

Jane rolled her eyes as Ganis squeezed her tighter. "I'm serious little one; you don't need to be sneaking off to Nihlus's house at all hours of the night again."

"Yes Sir. But I'm not using his front door, his mom still hates me."

"Right and I'm sure, sneaking into her sons room using the window is going to help that."

Jane shrugged, "I'll wait an hour daddy." She batted long auburn lashes at him over those bright green eyes and he relented.

"Alright, but leave the rifle at home, he can come out with us tomorrow and you can show him then. And be nice Jane; don't ask too many questions, this wasn't a holiday to Palaven as you know."

"Okay daddy." She nuzzled her head against his and then pulled back, retreating to her room.

Le'lani laughed as she began cleaning off the table. "She has you wrapped around her little finger."

Ganis stood and swept Lani into his arms. "You both do, and I couldn't be happier."

The hour seemed to drag on forever, it was like time had stopped and even started retreating. Finally when it seemed three normal hours could have passed the chime struck and Jane bolted past her parents in the front room, not even stopping to say good-bye.

"You realize she's running off to see your future son-in-law."

Ganis frowned, "Yes, but I don't even want to think of her taking a mate someday, they won't have an easy time of it, even if she makes it through the Academy and into the military. No children and well," Lani laid a finger over his mouth and shook her head.

"That's why Nihlus is perfect, he loves Randiv, and they'll come back here, be close to us. He knows what she is and he seems to truly care for her."

"Lani, he's twelve, a lot can change between now and then. You are right though, if someone has to mate with my daughter, I would prefer it to be him."

"They'll have to grow up one day Ganis, they might as well know what they want."

"Is that even possible? Here I am thirty-seven and I just barely figured all of that out."

"Yes, well Jane is smarter at her age than you were."

Ganis smiled, but it lacked true humor behind it. "Yes, I just worry about her, things will never be easy."

"If there is one thing you've taught me Ganis Vandrel, it's that anything that is worth it is rarely easy. In fact, it can be a downright pain in the ass."

He laughed the humor and ease back in his tone, and he cuddled her closer, waiting for their daughter to return home.

ooOoo

Nihlus knew she was coming over, before she even tapped on his window and he stood waiting for her.

"I knew you'd come over Jane, I've missed you so much you have no idea."

"I have some idea, I've missed you too." She paused, his posture was slumped and he looked tired. "Nihlus, I'm sorry about your dad."

He nodded, but didn't look up. "I wish mom wouldn't have insisted he be taken to Palaven, he never liked it there. I could see why, everyone really does think they are better than us.

Looking up at her he reached out a talon, tracing the white marks on her face.

"When did you start marking yourself?"

"A few months ago, dad helped me change them a little bit so they fit my face. Do you like them?"

"Of course I do, I told him you were one of us, I forgot how beautiful you were, he didn't believe me about that either."

"Told who, what?"

"Oh, my father's friend from the military, he has a son. He's just as obsessed about shooting as you are. I told him that I knew someone that was as good of a shot, if not better. He didn't believe me. He'll be at the Academy same year I am. He's like the only other friend besides you, I've ever had. His name is Garrus Vakarian. I won't get to see him again until the Academy, so you had better keep practicing, because I have an outstanding bet that says you can best him."

Jane frowned looking down at her hands.

"Did you tell him that I'm a," She trailed off, but Nihlus took her hand and nuzzled it with his mandible.

"Yeah, we talked about it, but most of them already know. Most of them know your dad, and they have heard the stories. He asked if you were like them. I told him I don't know what the rest of the humans are like, but that you are the same as me."

Staring up at him, green eyes sparkling she smiled. "Thanks for that, I'm so scared of what happens when I have to leave Randiv, I'm at least a known sight, if not a welcome one. But the Academy, with people from Palaven and ones that have lost parents to the war, to the humans, ones that won't see Jane, just a human and," Nihlus silenced her with a talon over her lips.

"Jane, we'll make it, I'll fight for you, and so don't you give up. Besides, we'll have Garrus, you'll see. He's not so bad, don't hold it against him that he's from Palaven. Besides, we have three years before Academy."

"No, you have three years. I have almost four."

"Yes well, three or four years is a long time. We have plenty of time."

"Hey did you hear? My dad took Le'lani as a mate! Oh and I got a sniper rifle for my birthday, dad says you can come with us tomorrow."

Nihlus laughed. "Lani has always been like your mom, I like her. As for the sniper rifle, great more marksman crap that I won't be as good at. You and Garrus really will get along. I've got you both beat at hand to hand though. Well unless you cheat." He eyed her with a chuckle and she swatted at him, he caught her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm glad you're back, Nihlus."

"Me too Jane, but you'd better get home before your dad comes over here, or worse my mom comes back here."

Nihlus watched her run back towards her house, as an unsettling memory caused him to frown. His mother had told her friend, that we never have enough time. Why did it feel like he would never have enough time with Jane? They had forever, right?

ooOoo

Ganis paced the front room; the house was silent besides the gentle click of his talons against his datapad. He scanned the message from the General, he was going to be here any second and he was glad that Jane and Nihlus were out. Jane spent every second with Nihlus and they had become inseparable, it had been years since they had any real trouble at school, and now the General was coming and could ruin everything.

The message didn't say why he was coming so even though he was not prone to worry, every worst case scenario played through his mind, always prepared he reminded himself, quickly he sent Le'lani a message, that if he didn't message her again in an hour she was to find Jane and keep her at the hospital until she heard from him. Groaning Ganis tossed the datapad to the couch; the war was pressing in all directions, even though the Council had called for peace. One battle would stop, there would be peace talks, and someone would attack a colony starting the whole thing up again. So he couldn't be coming to send her back. Besides, he thought with a shake of his head, he would find no humans here. Ganis would not allow his daughter to be taken, not after all these years.

The door chimed and Ganis's heart stuck in his throat. The door hissed open and there stood General Victus. Pulling himself to a crisp salute, Ganis stood firmly at attention.

"At ease Vandrel," Victus nodded and Ganis went at ease motioning towards the front room.

As Victus made his way to the front room, he glanced about, seemingly looking for Jane; at least that's what it looked like to Ganis and he was thankful again, that she was out.

"Please have a seat general, can I get you anything?"

"No thank you Commander, nothing, I really just came to check on Jane's development and deliver some news personally."

Ganis nodded, but remained silent keeping his face perfectly calm. The General regarded Ganis and his silence as leave to continue.

"How old is Jane this year?" The General asked the question even though Ganis knew, he knew the answer. He had sent the General reports about Jane since she was six.

"Fourteen this year Sir, she's top in her class again this year."

"And there have been no problems these last years with school?"

"No Sir, a few of her classmates are joining the Academy this year, but I have no worries about her." He said this, even though he knew Jane was not taking Nihlus's impending departure well.

"Yes, well I want you to know that I have convinced the Turian Hierarchy to allow Jane entry into the Academy." Ganis slowly released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Victus noticed but didn't comment. "There is one thing though Commander. The Hierarchy requested I evaluate her, they wanted to know if it would be possible for her to be trained as a," Victus paused watching Ganis closely. "They wanted to know if she would make a good covert agent. They wanted her to be sent into the Alliance after the Academy."

Without even a second though Ganis shook his head, "Absolutely not General, Jane doesn't even remember humans let alone how to speak the human language. She is as much a Turian as you and I, it would never work sir," Victus held up a talon cutting Ganis off.

"I understood as much from your last letter, they reluctantly agreed to let the question go until after the Academy, after she proves herself as solid Turian military." Ganis nodded; okay they would have time she would prove herself. Victus clicked his talons together drawing Ganis's attention back to him, "There is something else Commander, the Hierarchy has ordered you return to active duty as soon as Jane is in the Academy, as…. a General."

Ganis froze, every muscle was coiled, he felt like an over loaded spring.

"I see what this is Sir, they think if they offer me a promotion I won't fight them when the question of using my daughter comes back up. With all due respect Sir, I can't do that."

Victus stood, walked towards the door and spun back to where Ganis was now standing.

"Listen, Ganis, this was not a question, nor a polite request. It is a direct order, over my head. So I suggest you give your inner bad ass, a military pep talk and get ready to lead. You will be a General, and you will have to deal with the question of your daughter, after the academy." He took a step towards Ganis and pointed a talon at his chest.

"I'll tell you this; you've got a helluva better chance at helping her from my position, than you do denying the Hierarchy what they want. Because there isn't anything you can do for her from this backwater planet. Besides, Ganis you and I are men of war, this is what we do, you've proven that, if what your reports say are accurate. You've taken a human and raised her as a Turian, you've taught her our ways, and they've stuck. It's proof that you should be out there with our men. Spirits, I don't know how much you hear in this Colony but it's been bad, and it's not getting better. Do you remember when I said that this war would not be solved on the battle field?"

"I do sir, but I really don't see how my training of Jane could possibly have anything to do with the end of the war."

"I may not agree with the idea of using Jane to spy on the Alliance, but what if she could be a bridge between us? This is the question I want looked into, and you have a better chance of doing that, if you do as the Hierarchy says.

"I understand sir, I won't let you down sir, I know, we all want this war to end."

Victus shook his head, his eyes were shadowed and for the first time Ganis saw how tired he looked.

"No, not everyone does. Now please message whoever has Jane and have her brought here. I'd like to see her."

"How did you know sir? That I had someone with Jane I mean?"

Chuckling, Victus shrugged, "It's what I would have done. You are a good father, one that thinks like a soldier."

Grabbing his datapad, Ganis messaged Le'lani asking her to bring Jane to him.

"Is that your mate?" Victus watched as Ganis finished the message.

"Yes, Le'lani, she's the one I told you about. She's been like a mother to Jane."

"I was very happy to hear that you had taken a mate, I wanted you to be happy."

"I have been happy General, and really it's thanks to you, when you dropped that assignment on me, I had no idea at the time that it would be the best thing to ever happen to me." Gani's line of thought was cut off by the sound of the door sliding open.

Jane was first into the front room and she froze when she saw the General's insignia snapped a salute and fell stiffly to attention, just as Ganis had done.

Victus nodded to her, spirits she looked just like her mother, bright red hair, shining green eyes; he called for her at ease and she dropped to parade rest, as he circled her.

"Jane, I hear you're an excellent marksman, I've heard you're going to try out for the sniper school in the Academy."

"Yes Sir, can't wait sir, just give me the chance."

Victus smiled, "Very good Jane, I'm sure you'll prove yourself in no time, in a year of course."

"Yes sir." Jane's voice fell and she sounded depressed at the mention of a whole year before she could be gone to the Academy.

Controlling a laugh Victus nodded, "You're dismissed Jane."

Victus kept his eyes on Jane's retreating figure until she was out the door, releasing his breath in a deep sigh, "she looks just like her mother." Turning back towards Ganis he nodded. "You've done well, carry on….General."

ooOoo

Jane tapped softly on Nihlus's window after she left her house. Nihlus chuckled softly as he opened the window and Jane climbed in.

"You know you can use the front door now Jane, my mom is used to you. You don't have to sneak in through my window." Before she could sit down on the bed, he pulled her into his arms, leaning his forehead against hers and nuzzled her softly.

"Yeah, I know, but I don't like the looks she gives me still. Like I'm leading her little boy astray, she may be used to me, but she doesn't like me. I'm not sure she ever will."

"It doesn't matter, as soon as I leave she's moving back to her family, says she has nothing left here, not after dad died, and me heading off to the academy." Jane went stiff in his arms and he eased her back from his chest, pressing his hand to hers. "Don't do that Jane, don't freeze up on me before I leave, don't be angry with me. Forever remember? It's only a year, what's a year Jane?"

Jane pulled fully away from him grabbing a few of his guns off of his weapon rack, setting them next to his bags; ignoring his question.

"Jane, I don't think I'm going to need all of my guns." She frowned and folded her arms over her chest.

"Of course not, you're going to have regulation weapons and learn all sorts of things I don't know and I'm going to have to hate you."

"Oh Janey, don't say that, nothing is going to change. I'll be waiting for you and you'll be there before you know it."

Jane pointedly ignored this and turned to him slightly.

"Did you know General Victus is at my house?"

"No, why would he be here, that seems odd."

"Yeah, he asked to see me. It was really weird; it was like he was inspecting me. I thought for sure he was going to say I could go to the Academy now. But of course he didn't, I'm stuck here. While you get to go off," she trailed off falling backwards on the bed and Nihlus leaned over her, tracing a talon along her collar bone.

"You're going to be fine Jane, you're a survivor, and think, another year with your dad, he'll keep you so busy on the range you won't even realize I'm gone."

She reached up, drifting a hand over his face. "You know that isn't true, I'm going to miss you like mad, we do everything together, and I'm not going to know what to do with myself."

"Sure you will you're going to train as hard as ever so when you get to the academy you're can prove to Garrus and everyone that all the stories I'll be telling about you are true."

She narrowed her eyes at him and he laughed, poking her softly in the ribs until she joined his laughter with her own. Pulling her against him she snuggled into his chest and he enjoyed the feeling of her softness against him.

"Jane, you know how much you mean to me right? One year isn't going to change that, one year isn't going to change our forever, our plans. We always knew this was going to happen. You'll be strong for me, won't you love?"

Jane nodded as he nipped her neck. "Yes of course. Just, don't go falling in love with a nice Turian girl, going and making your mom all proud."

"I am in love with a nice Turian girl, and my mother will never be proud of me. I love you darling, always will."

ooOoo

Jane stood silently beside her father to watch the shuttle take Nihlus away from her, a whole year. She shook her head. A gentle hand landed on her shoulder and she smiled up at her dad.

"Hey little one, think you can handle a whole year with just your ol' man?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah daddy, of course, I love you. It's just; I'm just so ready to prove myself. To do what you've raised me to do."

"I know, in time you'll join him, for now, we'll work even harder. But first we need to have a family meeting, let's stop by the hospital and pick up your mom, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, but why do you sound so weird?"

Ganis chuckled, Jane was very astute when it came to reading him, and she could tell the second his voice was even slightly off.

"I'll tell you when we get home little one."

He knew she wanted to argue, but her training won out and she nodded adding a simple, "Yes sir." As they headed off to collect Le'lani.

Once they were home, they all sat together at the table, Ganis looked at his girls and sighed.

"I'm sure you've both been wondering why the General was here, well it turns out, I've been promoted to the rank of General." Le'lani gasped, her hand clasped to her mouth, but Jane just grinned.

"Lani, don't look at me like that, you know I couldn't say no." She nodded but her eyes didn't meet his.

"I don't have to leave until Jane leaves for the Academy, at that point, I must return to active duty."

"You have to leave mom? But I'll be gone too, what will she do?"

"I'll be fine, I've been alone before, I can manage." Le'lani stood from the table and Ganis moved to go to her but she stopped him.

"I'm fine; I just have some things I need to take care of back at the hospital. Take Jane out to the range, I'll see you both for supper."

But she didn't come back.

"Jane, I'm going to head down to the hospital, I'm worried about your mom."

Jane jumped up, "I'll go, some of this stuff is girls only, she's just like me, you know missing you when you're gone and all that."

Ganis eyed his daughter, getting taller all the time, slender, he was sure she was a beauty by human standards and she was confident and an excellent soldier, she was the best of him in every way. Lani had been right; this girl was his daughter through and through.

"What do you know about missing boy's young lady? Is there something you should tell me about Nihlus?" He lifted his brow plate and folded his arms over his chest in mock outrage and he had to control an outburst of laughter when she rolled her eyes and blushed almost as red as her hair, he was amazed at how she could change colors like that still over the mention of Nihlus.

"Daddy, really, I'm not even in the Academy yet."

"Yes but you like him."

"Yeah, of course I do, you've known that since we were like nine. But we're not talking about me here; we're talking about you and mom. So stop worrying, I'll go get her."

Jane popped her head through the hospital doors and called out, "mom, you back here?" Halting a few steps into the back rooms, Jane watched her mom leaning against the wall, staring out the window.

"Hey mom, you okay?"

Lani nodded. "Yeah, I just wasn't feeling very well, that's all." Her hands drifted over her stomach and Jane, who didn't miss much, caught the gesture instantly.

"Mom, you're pregnant aren't you?" It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. And caught off guard she nodded.

"That's why you're so upset, spirits mom, you gotta tell dad, he'll," Lani shook her head cutting Jane off.

"Jane, sweetheart, it doesn't matter, I'll have this child and then you and he will have to leave. It's just how it must be."

"Don't be worried mom, dad will be back, and the war can't last forever." Even as she said the words, their eyes met and they both knew the truth of it, it hadn't ended yet, and no one knew how long it would drag on.

Nor how long either of them would be caught in the midst of a war that seemed hell-bent on dragging her mate back to it, even as her daughter ran headlong towards it.

ooOoo

Nihlus crouched beside Garrus on the range and watched him fire off three perfectly placed kill shots and chuckled.

"Good shot Vakarian, though still not as good as Jane."

"Hah, I'll believe that when this mysterious human-turian show's up and proves it. I still can't believe it; she can't be as pretty as you say, all soft, softer than an Asari they say."

"Trust me Garrus, she's amazing, she's not all that soft, and she's nothing like a human besides looks. I'm sure as soon as you meet her, you'll love her as much as I do."


	5. Triggers And Cardio

Jane was out of bed before the crying even started. She heard the whimpering that always leads up to the crying and she was instantly on alert, she peeked into her parent's room, they were both fast asleep. She smiled softly, they were both exhausted. The house had been in mass chaos since the baby was born and she knew they both needed their rest. She had tried her hardest to help where she could, though she hated cooking and cleaning, she had tried to keep her complaining to a minimum.

The baby was already standing in her crib when Jane entered her room. As soon as she saw Jane, she giggled and cooed, holding out her arms towards her, she had no idea babies could develop so quickly, Lani had said that they could stand sooner than other species, though she wasn't walking yet, thank the spirits for that. Jane smiled and reached into the crib for her. And her biotics Jane thought, strong, she already had caught the little girl glowing once or twice.

"Hey D'esia, who's the cutest baby in the whole galaxy, that's right, you are." D'esia just giggled and gurgled as she was lifted up and into Jane's arms.

"Are you hungry," just as the words were out of her mouth she realized it was the other option. "Alright kid-o, let's get you cleaned up, then get you something to eat."

As Jane finished changing her she sighed, and found the bottle Le'lani had set aside for the 'night watch' as they had taken to calling it.

"You know D'esia, that is at least one thing I will not miss about not being able to have one of you. Honestly, you're cute, but who knew something as cute as you, could smell that bad." Jane scrunched up her nose at the little girl in her arms, and tried to stifle a laugh as D'esia pulled her slobbery fingers from her mouth and grabbed at her face.

"Yes, you're cute, and slobbery." She settled herself on the couch and gave D'esia her bottle, making little cooing and kissing sounds to her as she settled in her arms and began to drift off back to sleep.

Ganis watched his two children silently from the hall, his smile at Jane's love for her sister, faded as he listened to her talk. He had always known that even if Jane was to take Nihlus as a mate, that they would never be able to have children. It hadn't occurred to him that Jane might actually miss that part of her life. The thought upset him more than he thought it would, even as he listened to Jane settle back into her bed, he couldn't get it out of his mind. He left his room where he had paced and paused at her door.

Before he could speak, Jane had sat up and was watching him; her senses were as acute as any Turian he had ever known.

"You know, you could have offered to help dad, rather than just standing in the hall." Her face was serious, but he knew the tone, it was light, teasing.

"I was enjoying watching my girls together; it won't be long now until we won't have those moments anymore."

"Yeah, I know dad, Le'lani and D'esia will be fine. It's not like we won't be back."

"Right, I know." He unfolded his arms and moved away from the door, sitting on the edge of her bed.

Pulling her against him, he wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his head against hers.

"I love you, you know that right?"

"Yeah of course daddy," she leaned back in his arms, meeting his eyes with hers. "What's wrong dad? You're acting weird."

"I'm just wondering if I did the right thing, for you I mean, not me. For me, you were the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"What do you mean dad, wondering if you did the right thing for me?"

"I mean, keeping you with me, not pushing the fact that you could at some point be returned to the humans."

Jane went stiff in his arms, and he saw her lips draw together in a thin grim line. He knew that look, she was angry, but he had to know.

"I was thinking Jane, maybe you have family out there, you know, human, wondering if you ever think of your mother, or father," before he could finish she was trying to pull away from him.

"Why are you asking this dad? Have I finally become too much trouble, now that you have to go back to the military because of me, because you have to leave your real family, is that why you're asking this, General?" The last word was filled with pain and hurt, and Ganis flinched and quickly pulled her back against him.

"No little one, no never that, I was just wondering if I took too much from you, the chance to have a family and a child of your own, do you understand what I'm asking Jane?"

"You and Lani are my mom and dad, I can't even remember the others, and I know nothing but you. You didn't take anything from me, dad you gave me a life, a home you are my family. If I take a mate, we could always adopt, you know like you did me. I've never felt like you took anything from me, just gave me everything. Please don't make it sound like you regret this dad, because I don't."

"I don't regret it little one, you're my life, always have been. I love you; I just needed to know if you were happy, I would do anything for you. The academy isn't going to be easy sweetheart, worse than when you started school here. If I could save you all the problems that are to come, I would."

Jane nodded and snuggled back against him.

"I know daddy, but you trained me well, I'll deal with the problems that are to come, I will earn my place, just as I always have. I'll make you proud of me."

He chuckled and ran his talons through her hair which she had braided and tied back.

"I'm always proud of you little one, you're everything I could have ever wanted, you're a good Turian, and you'll make a perfect soldier. Which reminds me, I got you that new rifle, I was going to wait until tomorrow, just before you left to give it to you, now is as good a time as any though."

Throwing her arms around his neck she inhaled deeply, committing his scent to memory.

"Thanks dad, I mean it, I'm sorry I got testy."

Shaking his head he smiled, "Oh, there is something else. If you're asked directly about your biotics at the Academy, you're not to lie. Keeping it to yourself, is one thing but if asked directly," she lifted a finger cutting him off.

"I know daddy, I would never lie when asked."

"That's my girl; you're a better Turian than I am." He smirked as he laid her back and tucked her in bed; he nuzzled her head once more before standing.

"You know, about me being sent back and becoming a General, that's not your fault Jane, that's no one's fault. It's what we're born to, we answer when we are called, for the good of the many. That being said, my being a General isn't going to help you in the Academy, in fact, it may hurt you. They may think you are trying to get special treatment, not only because you're a human among them, but because I am a General."

"I know daddy, work ten times as hard, and earn every inch, in spite of them. I know, and I'm ready Sir."

He nodded his approval, "I love you soldier."

He stood just beyond her door, listening to her soft breaths, and watching the even rise and fall of her chest as she drifted off to sleep. Spirits, he was going to miss her, he prayed then that he would live through this war, and so would she, so they could be together and a family again.

ooOoo

As Jane stood staring at the shuttle that would take her to the next path in her life she sighed, turning back towards her family. Ganis stood stiffly to the side as Jane hugged Lani and tickled D'esia who was gurgling and giggling in her arms.

"I'll miss you mom, take care of our little stinky." Lani laughed and hugged Jane with her free arm.

"You just take care of yourself."

"I will mom."

As she turned to her dad she smiled and ran into his arms, he lifted her and squeezed her tightly against his chest. As he sat her back on the ground their eyes met, no words were needed. They had said everything they needed to. She stepped back from him; no tears fell from her eyes as she saluted him.

"I'll see you soon daddy."

And with that she turned and boarded the shuttle.

ooOoo

Jane noticed the change almost instantly, gone was the place where she was a known sight. Most of the people she started to encounter had never seen a human, unless of course it was on the battlefield, and that was to kill it. She knew that, but she also knew from her experience back in school that she couldn't just avoid them; she had to be polite, talk and hope for the best.

She didn't have much chance on the trip there, as everyone kept their distance from her. On the shuttle that was taking them down towards the Academy she tried to ignore the pointed looks of those with her, but what she couldn't ignore was the fact that everyone had moved as far away as possible from her. Steeling herself, she set her eyes firmly on the ground in front of her and waited quietly for the shuttle to land, and the chance of seeing a friendly face.

Jane stood, gathered her stuff and moved towards the exit of the shuttle. The Turian behind her grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her to the side. "Out of the way human, the quicker you learn your place, the better." She didn't move her eyes from the cold stare he gave her as he brushed by, but kept her peace.

She exited into the bright light and looked about the landing pad. The voice that called her name from her left, cause her breath to catch in her throat, turning slowly her eyes landed on Nihlus, who was standing with another Turian. They both made their way towards her, she knew he wouldn't take her in his arms, not here. He smiled though, and his mandibles fluttered giving him away and she smiled.

"Thought you could escape me didn't you Kryik?"

"The thought never even crossed my mind Vandrel."

She laughed and hefted her bag over her shoulder. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, right sorry. Jane Vandrel, this is Garrus Vakarian."

Jane held out her hand and he took her wrist. "I've heard a lot about you Garrus, for a lot of years."

"Same here, I can't wait to see this shot I've been told about, over and over. I really do hope you're as good as he says you are. I could really use some competition."

She chuckled and looked down to where he still held her wrist.

"I guess we'll have to find out Vakarian, I look forward to it." She lifted her eyes to his and found that he was watching her face, most likely he wasn't used to human expression she thought, as she pulled her hand back from his.

"As do I, but for now, we need to get you a meal and ready for your first formation."

Jane nodded and motioned in front of them. "After you two then," Nihlus brushed his hand over her lower back as he moved around her, the shiver that jolted down her spine made her gasp, and she saw Nihlus chuckle as he lead the way towards the base.

ooOoo

The meal was good, hell she was glad for anything she didn't have to cook.

"So, you had a good trip from Randiv?" Nihlus asked her between bites.

"No actually, it was like being six all over again back at school; you remember how well that went."

Nihlus nodded as his talon tapped against the table, it was a nervous twitch, one Jane knew all too well.

"What is it Nihlus?"

Clearing his throat, Nihlus frowned.

"It's going to be like that Jane, they've all heard about you, and you've become some sort of weird rumor, like you might not be real. Once they see you are, I'm not sure how it's going to go over."

Jane shrugged, but paused before taking another bite.

"Yeah, I figured that's how it would go, why do you sound so concerned, it's just like school."

"No Jane, this is different. I was always there to help you in school, I've been here a year, I'm getting my field unit next week, I won't always be here, we'll be out getting combat experience."

She nodded and looked up from her plate in time to catch the look Nihlus shot Garrus.

"I knew this would happen, Nihlus I'm fine. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, it's just that, everyone here is being trained to kill humans, some of them wonder if you'll be able to, they are worried about having you at their back. This is going to be much harder than school ever was Jane. This is war, and their lives we're talking about, you're going to have to prove to them you're not just some human spy. They don't know you like I do; they don't know that you're not what you look like."

"Then I'll just have to prove it, won't I?"

Nihlus nodded, "One good thing though, Garrus will be here, he's staying to head up the sniper training, plus start his own officer training. So that means more class work for him."

Jane snorted as Garrus groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Not your choice I'm taking it?"

"Oh, well in the end it's my choice, but let's say that it was my choice after some very good convincing by my father."

"Yeah, I've heard dads from Palaven can be like that." She smiled and Garrus returned it, dropping easily into her humor.

"You just wait, your father is a General now, and you're going to have to prove you can live up to the Vandrel bloodline sooner or later."

"You mean I have to prove to everyone I'm not human, while at the same time proving that I'm a good Turian and living up to the Vandrel name? Ironic don't you think?"

"A little bit, but there is something that tells me you're more than up for that challenge, as for your father and name though. I've heard a lot about him, you're very lucky."

"You mean I'm lucky he took pity on a human."

Garrus shook his head his face serious. "No, just lucky that you had such a good father, period."

Nihlus collected their plates and dropped them off, pleased that Jane and Garrus were talking. He had been worried that Garrus wouldn't be able to see past the human part of Jane, but it seemed that wasn't a problem.

Garrus barely noticed Nihlus getting up, as he watched Jane quirk her head to the side slightly, a thoroughly Turian gesture. His eyes ran down the length of her white neck, and along the bones that stood out above her collar. Nihlus was right; she wasn't all that soft looking. As his eyes traveled back up to her face he studied the color of her eyes, a striking green that you could lose yourself in. Her markings were the same as Nihlus's, just a touch different where she didn't have fringe. His eyes wandered over her hair, Nihlus had told him about it, it was pulled back from her face, but even so it looked like it would be soft. Shaking his head he realized she was talking to him.

"Do you Garrus?"

"I'm sorry, do I what?"

"Do you think of me as just a human?"

He thought about this for a moment, watching her eyes and the quirk of her head, the slight flutter of movement at the edge of her mouth. The way her hands were folded before her, all Turian traits, and he smiled.

"No I'd say I don't." He didn't say any more but Jane seemed satisfied, so he left it at that as Nihlus retook his seat next to him.

"Well it's time Jane, you need to report, get your bunk assignment and uniforms." He leaned towards her and lowered his voice, though she knew Garrus could still hear them.

"Good luck sweetheart."

She blushed, and saw Garrus look quickly towards the door, "Time to go you two."

ooOoo

Jane stood at attention before the supply officer, a stern looking female Turian. "Vandrel, we've heard about you." Jane didn't move a muscle at the tone in her voice, just kept her eyes straight ahead.

"We have your uniforms, specially made of course; these are the directions to your bunk. Change and report to the yard. You have twenty, if I was you. I'd run."

Jane saluted about faced, and as soon as she heard the door close behind her, she was running. Following the directions she was given towards her bunk. She was outside again, she was looking for the building that should be right where she was standing, but there was nothing. This looked like the P.T. yard. She stood biting down on her lower lip, looking left, looking right. But before she could head back inside to ask directions, the doors from the other barracks opened. People filed into the yard, they formed ranks around her as she tried to edge her way towards the doors, she could hear their whispers. "That's the human." "She didn't even change."

"Who the hell does she think she is?"

Shit thought Jane; it had started already, sent out here to look like an ass.

Squaring her shoulders, Jane turned towards the call of what looked to be the Commander.

"Ah, the human, Vandrel is it? We've heard lots about you, seems you think you don't need to be in uniform. You'd be wrong. Head up now, back straight."

Jane saluted and fell to a perfect attention. She noted the rise of the Commanders brow plate, just a hint of one before his face fell back to a perfect blank.

"Well everyone," he spoke to the group, leaving her in the front. "It seems our celebrity has arrived. Though it seems she thinks she's above the rules. So, instead of joining us in P.T and classes today, I think she would enjoy a day of running. What say you?"

There was a unified sound of approval and the Commander turned back to her.

"You heard them Vandrel, they agree, since you think you're above us, you can spend the rest of the day away from us, we are a team, and until you learn that, you can spend some time by yourself. See the track just there? You are to start running, don't stop, not until I come to find you. No water, no food. You are not to accept it, even if it is offered to you. Understood?"

Jane wouldn't let him know how angry she was. Set up on her first damn day, she knew better damnit.

"Sir, yes sir."

"Dismissed."

ooOoo

That first day was the longest of Jane's short life.

She started running, and didn't stop. Her anger and frustration fueled her at first, but by the third hour she had no anger left. As classes let out, and there was free time, she acquired a crowd, watching her. She wouldn't have accepted water, had it been offered. Though no one stepped forward to offer it, most stood nearby arms folded over their chest, watching in silence; the others stood in small groups, watching, talking.

Sweat drenched her body, she felt dizzy, but she would not let them win.

She didn't know how many laps in she was when she looked up and saw Garrus, he looked, concerned. Yes, that was concern; she didn't see Nihlus with him and was glad that he didn't have to see this.

The next thing she knew the Commander from earlier in the day, was standing at the edge of the track watching her. He stood silent, arms behind his back. As she ran past him he called out to her.

"That will be enough Vandrel, front and center at attention."

Jane could barely breathe, but managed to pull herself up to attention, she even managed a crisp salute, though her body was telling her to lie down and die.

The Commander was next to her and leaned in towards her his, voice low.

"I didn't do this to you, you did it to yourself, and I'm impressed though. You have excellent conditioning. Or just a lot of anger," he took a step back from her, watching her try to catch her breath.

"Why didn't you give up Jane?"

She didn't answer just kept her eyes forward.

"You will answer."

"Sir, I did as you told me to, I won't let them beat me."

He chuckled.

"Vandrel, the sooner you realize this isn't about you or them, but the whole, the better off you'll be. I'm Commander Andruis, welcome to the Academy."

He stepped away from her and addressed those gathered.

"Now I know most of you haven't ever seen a human first hand, well we have the distinct honor of having one in our ranks; I'm pleased to say that most of the ones you'll come in contact with, are not in this good of conditioning, must be the Turian in her." Turning back to her he nodded.

"You're dismissed Vandrel, hit the showers."

Jane was shocked, had he really just said that, or was her exhausted mind playing tricks on her? She took an unsteady step forward and paused. Garrus was at her side, he didn't help her, didn't touch her, just walked next to her. She smiled, he knew she didn't need him to help her, it would let them see her weakness she just needed the strength of him next to her.

She whispered, "Garrus, could you show me where the showers are, so I don't end up in the middle of another practice yard, I don't think I can run anymore."

He chuckled as they walked through the doors, away from so many eyes and he laid a hand on her shoulder.

"You did good Jane, there aren't many who could do what you just did."

"You mean good for a human." She smirked up at him, her heart rate finally returning to normal.

"No Jane, good period."

ooOoo

Nihlus caught up to them at supper that evening and his face was etched with worry.

"Hey Jane, Garrus told me, I'm sorry I wasn't there, I had formation and then strategy classes."

Jane smiled and brushed her hand lightly over his before taking her seat.

"It's okay, I'm fine, and you can't follow me around and try to keep me out of trouble. Besides, in some weird way I think he helped me. I can tell the difference in their looks already."

Nihlus nodded, though he looked confused. "I know Jane, I just worry about you. You know why."

He gave her a pointed look and she smiled.

"I know, but you have things you need to do too."

Garrus slid into the seat next to her and elbowed her lightly. "Hey, you're not going to believe this, but I have been getting questions about you, good things, people want to know how you did that today. They want to know more about you. In a good way, Jane you won't believe it, but I think your little cardio display won you some fans. I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see how tomorrow goes. I bet we have a crowd."

Nihlus watched the exchange between Garrus and Jane with a little more than confusion. They had gone from two strangers, to what looked like friends in a matter of hours. What the hell had happened out on that track?

"What's tomorrow?"

Garrus grinned up at Nihlus. "Oh you know Jane is hitting the shooting range tomorrow. Trying out for sniper training, by yours truly of course so we'll finally get to see whose shot is better. And if my guess doesn't miss its mark, just like my shot," Jane burst out laughing and Garrus grinned. "Well like I was saying, if my guess is right you're going to have quite the group there. Though, right after that you're going to hand to hand and then classes. I've heard they are going to use you Jane, to show how to disable a human, mostly it's done on simulators, but with you here," Garrus trailed off as Nihlus leveled a looked that said shut up in his direction.

Jane shrugged, "it's okay, I don't mind, if it helps then that's a good thing. Though, I don't think anything I do will ever convince anyone that I'm going to have their back, that I would never run from a fight."

"People are just worried you won't be able to go to war against your own kind." Garrus motioned towards her.

"Well then they don't have anything to worry about, because I'm not going to war against my own kind, now am I?" Garrus held up his hands as if to ward off the anger in her words.

"Hey, it's not me you have to convince."

Jane nodded, "yeah well that's a start I suppose."

ooOoo

Garrus and Jane lay prone on the ground with their rifles. Garrus's guess had been right; they had quite a group at the range that morning. Jane had never been this nervous in her life; she needed this shot to be perfect. She waited for Garrus's shot. The sound echoed around her, she glanced to his target. Damn near perfect, shit; alright, no pressure Jane, only the entire Academy is watching you.

She adjusted her scope, took a deep breath, her hands were steady, her hands dry even with the nerves, her father's training took over. Aim small, miss small she thought as she released her breath and squeezed the trigger.

There was a roar of approval from behind her, but the largest from her side. "Helluva shot Jane, though I think your trigger is a bit stiff." He leaned over her, laying his arm around her and placing his hand on top of hers, his talon resting on hers above the trigger. She was warm against him and her scent was different than anything he had ever smelled before, he inhaled as their fingers moved in unison to the trigger and he squeezed gently.

"Yeah it's tight, I can mod that for you." She squirmed slightly against him turning her face to his, smiling.

"That would be great Garrus."

As she moved he felt a heat go through him that he had not anticipated, and at the realization of what his body was reacting to he pulled away from her as if she was on fire. The sudden movement caused Jane to scoot to her right and she stared at him, their eyes met and Jane looked away first. As she did Garrus jumped up grabbing his rifle and moved through the departing crowd back towards the main barracks. Jane did the same, keeping her head down, she moved after him. Letting him walk ahead of her she didn't dare catch up.

They ran into Nihlus coming out towards the range. He waved to Garrus, "Hey, sorry I missed it, did it go alright?"

Garrus nodded but didn't stop, "Yeah, it was great, as good a shot as you said." And with that he was gone into the building. He had to get away from her, he couldn't believe himself and what he had just done, he needed a shower that's all, and maybe a little sparring with that cute Turian female he had caught sight of yesterday. That was all, he had just denied himself since entering the Academy. That was all this was.

Jane stopped in front of Nihlus, he reached out a talon and lifted her chin. "I heard you did well, that's great Jane, I knew you would. Do you have some spare time? I was hoping we could talk before I leave tomorrow." Jane nodded.

"Yeah, it was great. Good shot, my trigger is a little stiff." Nihlus laughed his face slightly confused.

"That's good Jane though that's not what I," before he could finish she was already moving forward into the building. He stood for a moment staring after her, before following as he wondered to himself, what the hell was that?


	6. Awkward

As Nihlus entered the building after Garrus and Jane, they were nowhere to be found. "Jane, you didn't hear a word I said, did you?" Nihlus whispered to himself.

He sighed and made his way back to his bunk; he looked around at his foot locker, finished checking his weapons and sat down on the edge of his bed. He had looked forward to his first combat mission with his new squad, but now, with Jane arriving and things starting out just as he feared they would, he found himself worrying about leaving her here. He tried to remind himself that Garrus was here with her, but for some reason the thought didn't comfort him as much as it used to.

Jane changed into a fresh uniform and tried to push what had happened out on the shooting range, between Garrus and herself out of her mind, and concentrate on hand to hand. She wondered though, if Garrus was afraid of her, maybe he was worried that being too close to her would hurt his officer training, and the last thing she wanted was for Garrus to be punished because of her. Pulling her shoulders back she proceeded to the exercise yard and fell in line with the rest of her training squad.

Garrus was annoyed, he rooted through his gear, found the uniform he was looking for and changed, making his way towards his officers training class. As he sat and listened to strategic battlefield placement and the proper way to motivate your men, he couldn't keep his mind from wandering back to what had just happened out on the range, he didn't want to be thinking about her. He didn't want his thoughts to be hung up on the red-headed human who had one of the best shots he'd ever seen. Not to mention smelled, he paused mid thought and his eyes wandered towards the window and the practice yard, and there she was. It was like he had thought of her and she appeared as if he had willed it.

"Son-of-a-bitch," Garrus breathed as his eyes followed her movements towards the rest of the waiting group of soldiers and she fell in.

"What was that Vakarian?" His commanding officer stood next to him and Garrus righted his head and eyes towards the front.

"Nothing Sir," shit he had said that out loud, what the hell was wrong with him?

The Turian officer next to him glanced up and out the window. Also finding the human who had just dropped into formation "Looks like the human is going up for hand to hand training, well that should be interesting. I've got to see this, everyone up and to the yard, we'll continue this later."

Garrus almost groaned as he hefted himself out of his chair and made his way to the door, he tried to keep his face passive as the group gathered to watch Jane in her first hand to hand session.

As he approached he heard her commanding officer Andruis call her forward.

"Alright everyone, as we have a human with us, I thought this would be the perfect time to show you the easiest ways to disarm them. Unfortunately the ones you come in contact with are very well shielded and armoured, but fact remains that they have areas that are more prone to injury."

Garrus sucked in a breath as Andruis began pointing at specific parts of Jane's anatomy, essentially giving anyone present the ability to know exactly how to render her immobile, even kill her without a second thought. Jane he noted took this in stride, never showing for one second that she was bothered by him using her as a living test dummy.

"Alright, who's first?"

Garrus resisted the urge to yell out as a very large Turian stepped forward.

"Very good, take the ring, on my signal, fight."

Garrus went very still, watching Jane drop back into a ready position, her movements were swift, she was agile and avoided most of the larger Turians incoming strikes, she rolled to the side and went to take out his legs with a sweep, he faked her though, as he went to the ground, Garrus saw his body tense, waiting for Jane to move in for another strike. He kicked jumped to standing and released a full kick to her ribs, followed closely with a left hook, she was sent to the left and then she stumbled to the right, Garrus watched as blood gushed from her mouth, and he controlled the urge to rush to her side.

She was still on the ground and Garrus was sure she was done, but as the Turian approached he saw the twitch of her legs just before she flipped backwards, both of her booted feet connecting with the Turians jaw sending him backwards to the ground, she was on him before he could move, with her knees on his forearms pinning them at his side, she pulled back her hand to make the final blow, and looked up at Andruis.

He simply nodded and Jane removed herself from the Turians chest and stepped to the side. The crowd that had gathered was so quiet you could hear every movement of his uniform as he stood.

Jane stood passive at the side and before she could react the Turian swiped at her, his talons easily ripping through her uniform and the flesh beneath on her shoulder.

"That is enough! You were beaten clean, and you disrespect yourself and us by retaliating after the match is over, fall in line soldier."

To her credit Jane didn't make a sound as her flesh was torn, she flinched and immediately covered it with her opposite hand. The movement at Garrus's side almost caught him off guard, but before Nihlus could move Garrus stuck out an arm, stopping him from running forward to Jane's side.

"Spirits Nihlus, I didn't know you were here, don't you dare run up there, she's fine, leave her be. When she's dismissed we'll take her to get patched up. She doesn't need you running forward and making a spectacle of yourself. Don't you see, that she held up under that is a good thing, leave it."

Nihlus didn't struggle and let his shoulders relax, "Yeah I suppose, I'm just so used to being there for her, I'm so worried about leaving her here."

Garrus shrugged, "She'll be fine, so far she has shown that she can take care of herself very well."

"That may be but Garrus, I need you to watch her, please, I care about her and wouldn't forgive myself if she was hurt, and maybe her father shouldn't have pushed them to accept her."

Garrus's mandibles were pulled tightly to his face, first off for some reason he didn't like how his mind reacted to being asked to watch Jane, his first knee jerk reaction was to tell Nihlus not to worry because he seemed to not be able to watch anything besides her. After that most unwelcome thought passed, he found himself annoyed that Nihlus seemed to be trying to baby Jane. By what he'd seen, Jane was very capable and didn't need Nihlus trying to shield her, and that's what came out of his mouth and it almost caused him to bite down on his tongue.

"Nihlus, she doesn't need you treating her like a child, she's more than capable of standing up for herself, you're acting like my mother. She needs you to back off."

"Damn it, Garrus you've known her for two days, I've known her for our whole lives, don't tell me what she needs. There are things you couldn't possibly understand, what is up with you? Can't you just do me the favor of watching her for me while I'm gone? I thought you two were getting along fine, I understand if you don't want your officers training messed up, and if you don't want to be seen with her, fine whatever, just keep an eye out for her."

Two days thought Garrus, two days, it seemed a lot longer than that. "I will, Nihlus don't work yourself up over it, Spirits you really do sound like my mother right now."

Garrus didn't want to add that it had nothing to do with his officer training, that he enjoyed watching Jane prove herself, that watching her fight that watching her shoot gave him a very real thrill he shouldn't be entertaining. Damn he needed to blow off some steam, and quick. What the hell was wrong with him?

Nihlus rolled his eyes, "If I sounded like your mother I would have to pitch my voice and tell you to listen to your father, not to mention tell you to hurry up and find a nice Turian girl so I could have grandchildren."

"Spirits, if she mentions that one more time, hell I'm not even out of the Academy yet, you're lucky your mother doesn't harp on you."

Nihlus laughed so hard at that he almost choked, "Are you fucking kidding me? Try dating a human, you should have heard her scream at me about Jane."

Garrus froze as Jane, holding her shoulder fell in beside them. "He's right Garrus, his mother really could scream." As Garrus watched the corners of her mouth flutter and the subtle wink she gave him, he pulled back from their group, the feeling that he needed to be anywhere besides there right at that moment, thinking about what dating Jane would have been like while growing up.

"Well, I had better run back, Nihlus you should take Jane to get patched up, and I'll catch you later." He almost about-faced and walked quickly back towards the main building.

"I'm sorry Jane, I'm not sure what's wrong with Garrus, I thought you two were getting along, I wouldn't worry about it, he's just under a lot of stress."

Jane watched Garrus leave and tried to shrug, grimacing as she felt the lacerations on her shoulder rip a bit wider and more blood seep through her fingers.

"Yeah, I'm kind of used to it; right now though I'd really like to get this fixed." She tilted her head towards her injured shoulder and Nihlus practically jumped forward.

"Shit, I'm sorry Janey, I almost forgot. I'm so sorry; I wanted to rip him apart for doing that to you."

"I'm glad you didn't Nihlus, I don't want them to think I need you around to protect me."

"You sound like Garrus, don't either of you get the fact that I want to protect you?"

Jane had to stop herself from shrugging again, as they walked off towards the infirmary.

"Sure, I understand Nihlus," she glanced around. "I love you too. But this isn't the time or place, you know that."

"Damn it Janey, there aren't rules against fraternization. Stop acting like I care who sees me with you, they all know anyways. It's not a secret," Jane shook her head again and walked into the infirmary. Looking back she sighed, "It's not you I'm worried about Nihlus." And with that she was gone, the doors sliding shut behind her.

ooOoo

Staying in the barracks was awkward for Jane to say the least, she was not used to sharing her living quarters with so many people, let alone female Turians. She heard them talking, most pointedly about her and Nihlus and now Garrus.

"The human has already ruined one Turian, doesn't she realize that he can't breed with her? She's a waste, it's bad enough that she thinks she can fight with us, she needs to accept her place, she's worse than an Asari, she can fight well enough and it should stay at that, she isn't one of us."

Jane chanced a glance up at the Turian talking, a light red skinned female was talking to the group by her bunk, they called her Xara, and as Jane watched her she realized that she was strikingly beautiful, her body thin and lithe, her facial features were extremely attractive.

Xara's eyes met Jane's and held her gaze, considering her before she stood and moved towards her.

"Listen human, you're not welcome here, its bad enough we can't even talk without you listening in. You should know your place is that of a common soldier, you should learn to keep your hands off of what doesn't belong to you." Xara narrowed her eyes at Jane and turned leaving it at that.

As she walked away Jane stared down at her hands, she wasn't sure what she had meant until another female on the bunk in front of her cleared her throat, she was a grey Turian, normal to a fault in looks and she watched Jane, making sure she had eye contact before continuing.

"She's just pissed because Nihlus turned her down. Now she's going after Garrus, and she saw you with him at the range, she's just jealous."

Jane sighed.

"I didn't figure any of them would be looking for mates yet."

The female laughed and shook her head.

"No, it's not a mating thing, just a show of who's popular, you know the Academy is a tense place, it's a way to release stress. A preamble to mating, lots of matches are made in the Academy, though not made official until much later. I'm Sadria by the way."

Jane pursed her mouth, tapping her fingertips together. "Why are you talking to me? Aren't you afraid they'll treat you the same?"

Sadria laughed again. "They hate me already, my father is General Victus, so they think I'm spoiled, my father told me about you. I have no issue with you, so if you have none with me I think we could, well at least work together, if not be friends."

"Sadria Victus, huh, I didn't know the General had a daughter."

Sadria shrugged, "My father and your father work together now, you have a few things against you Jane, first you're a human, not an easy issue, second your father is a General now and the third and perhaps the worst, you have two males that seem to hover around you constantly."

"The fact that Nihlus and I have a relationship and Garrus is a friend, is worse than me being a human? Somehow I find that hard to believe."

"Well, here in the barracks it's a bigger issue anyways. I've got your back though Vandrel, we spoiled Generals daughters should stick together." She smiled and stuck out her hand; Jane couldn't help but smile back and accepted her wrist. A friend thought Jane, a female friend at that, hell the galaxy is full of surprises.

ooOoo

The next morning, Jane and Sadria left the barracks headed to the mess for breakfast before their first classes. The quad was quiet as they made their way across towards the mess hall. Sadria was humming something, her sub harmonics trilling and dropping. Jane chuckled softly, her lips pulled to the side in a half-smile.

"What are you doing?"

"hm, oh last weekend leave we had, I went to a club in the colony that's about ten klicks from here. They have amazing music; it's a great place to unwind, unless you prefer the other way of burning off stress." Sadria elbowed her with a teasing smirk and Jane was about to respond when a group of six or so Turians, male and female entered the quad across from them and began making their way towards them.

Sadria went stiff next to her, "Don't make eye contact whatever you do, keep your head low and move fast, first door you see, fucking use it."

Jane's eyebrows knitted together, "Why, who are they?"

"I'll explain when we're out of, shit we're too late, keep quiet Jane."

Jane did as she was told and kept her head low as the group approached them. Sadria folded her arms over her chest and met the stare of the male in the front, older than the rest, he seemed to be in charge, and his insignia told Jane he was a platoon leader, though she didn't recognise the platoon symbol.

"What do you want Vyrnnus? Shouldn't you and your biotic cronies be out harassing the Alliance?"

He smiled at Sadria, but it wasn't even close to friendly and Jane groaned inwardly at hearing the word biotic. Shit, this was the cabal platoon, just what she didn't need.

"Sadria, we just got back, I just had to check out the rumors of the human at the Academy, this is too good to be true, and wouldn't you know it, you just had to go and make nice with it. Figures, your father is known for his human sympathies, and don't even get me started on its guardian, Vandrel." Jane noticed he practically spit her father's name.

Sadria didn't move from where she had taken a defensive position in front of Jane.

"Listen here Vyrnnus," but before she could finish Vyrnnus had motioned for one of his group at his side, and the two stepped forward grabbing Jane by the arms, she didn't fight, it wasn't worth it, not if they had biotics.

"You can leave little Victus, we have what we came for, and if you know what's good for you, you'll keep your mouth shut. Don't worry, she won't be missed, we've cleared her absence if you take my meaning. Now off with you, that's a good girl."

Sadria narrowed her eyes and made to move at Vyrnnus, but Jane shook her head. "Don't, it's not worth it, they aren't going to kill me. Just leave it; I'll catch you later okay."

"Jane," with another shake of Jane's head she went quiet, she was brave, she'd give her that but she wasn't so sure about smart. The fact she thought they wouldn't kill her told her that much, but she kept quiet until Vyrnnus was gone with Jane and she turned and sprinted to Commander Andruis's office, but he wasn't there, out on formation training with a different squad, his replacement was Magnus and he hated her and her family, though he would never say as much around anyone that mattered.

"Sadria, you're over reacting, Vandrel was taken out on a training simulation, it's quite normal and I have her pass right here. She's in very capable hands with Vyrnnus, it will be good for her to get some experience dealing with biotics. Now report to your next class Victus or you'll be late, and I wouldn't want to have to take away your whole squads next weekend pass because of you."

ooOoo

Jane told herself as she was being lead away, that there was no chance she would use her biotics, they were just trying to scare her, and she reminded herself that this was no different from a school yard fight.

Vyrnnus lead her and the group to a secluded part of the base, turned and a very systematic beating began to take place, every biotic hit that bruised bloodied or broke something was punctuated by a severe reminder for her to learn her place, that if she was good he might think about not killing her next time, that this was just a reminder of her place in the galaxy, no matter what kind of human loving Turian raised her.

She stood her ground as she was beat, but by the last blow she fell to her knees, Vyrnnus crouched down next to her, he laughed in her face as he whispered. "You may sound like us, but you are not us, you will answer when I call you, and you will do as I say in all things, if you do, we won't have any more problems. Do you understand me?"

Jane didn't answer and as he stood he brought his foot up to kick her in the chest, Jane's hands glowed blue and Vyrnnus's eyes widened, but as fast as they had glowed it was gone and his foot landed in the middle of her chest.

"What the fuck was that human?" He leaned forward keeping the pressure on where he had just kicked her, pinning her to the ground with his weight.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'll do as you say, just get the fuck off me."

He moved his foot and she stood, trying to suck her air back as quietly as possible.

Vyrnnus stepped closer to her, his face inches from hers. "I saw that; don't try to bullshit me Vandrel. Tell me now, are you a biotic?"

Jane sucked in a breath through her nose, glanced at his insignia again, reminding her that he was her superior and cussed under her breath, giving a single nod.

"Well, that makes this all the more interesting, I've never heard you had biotics, so I'm guessing you were taught by that Asari bitch you call mother to control it, seeing as I see no implant, you know you pathetic humans need implants for your biotics to be effective. Well, how about you and I keep this between ourselves for now, seeing as it seems you don't want anyone to know. But when I call for you Vandrel, and I say jump, you ask how fucking high. Am I clear?"

Jane nodded, "Crystal."

ooOoo

Garrus stood in the mess hall at supper, he ran his eyes quickly over the crowd, he couldn't find Jane's red-head anywhere, and he spotted Nihlus and what looked like Sadria Victus to the side, alone at a table, making his way towards them he dropped his tray next to Nihlus and watched as they both flinched.

"What's got you two so paranoid? Where's Jane?"

"Keep your voice down Garrus, Sadria is bunked with Jane, and this morning apparently Vyrnnus and his platoon took Jane."

Garrus frowned as he sat, "Where did they take her, and why?" Before the question was even fully out of his mouth he answered it himself. "Vyrnnus hates humans, he's most likely exercising his right as an asshole on her."

"Nihlus nodded, yes, but that might not be all, if some how he's figured out that," Nihlus stopped and dropped his eyes to the table and Garrus sighed.

"What, if he's what, you've started you might as well finish."

"Spirits Garrus, Jane is a biotic, it's not common knowledge and I'm not supposed to say anything, but if he's found out, things could get very messy. I'm leaving tomorrow, we need to find her."

Sadria shook her head violently. "No, Jane made it painfully clear that she did not want us to do that. I'm bunked with her, if she doesn't show up by lights out I'll get to you two and we can worry then. Until then, we need to leave it, if we show up it could get out of hand quickly."

Garrus eyed Sadria, "How do we know we can trust you?"

"Come on Garrus, we practically grew up together, you know my father, you know he's been telling me stories of Jane since I was a kid, let it go, she's my friend."

As she said it, Garrus heard the truth in her words and nodded.

"Alright then, if she's not back by lights out, you let us know."

She nodded and they continued their supper in a tense silence.

ooOoo

By the time Sadria made it back to the barracks, Jane was already racked out and fast asleep, she could see the bruises and blood spattering her body, her nose looked slightly crooked, and she thought about waking her up and taking her for her second visit to the infirmary. But she decided to leave well enough alone and do so in the morning. By the spirits she looked like she had taken a hell of a beating.

The next morning Jane was up and showered before any of the others were even out of bed, she sat on her bunk staring straight ahead.

Sadria sat up and met her stare.

"Jane, if you need to talk." But Jane just shook her head, and Sadria lowered her voice and continued.

"Listen, seriously Jane, Nihlus told Garrus and I," the look on Jane's face changed to one of warning and she let it go with a sigh.

"Fine, but we should really get you fixed up; your nose looks like it hurts like a son of a bitch."

Jane shrugged, "I'll take care of it, Nihlus is leaving today and I need to find Garrus, as everyone else is doing whatever for the weekend I won't keep you, but I don't think I'll go with you to the club if it's all the same."

"Yeah, of course, Jane if you need anything just say so, I can help you with Vyrnnus."

Jane shook her head as she stood and walked towards the door, "I think I need to deal with this one on my own for now."

She watched Jane leave and shook her head, she needed help even if she didn't know it.

ooOoo

Jane sat through the fixing of her nose, and the prodding of her ribs with silence and after she was released she made her way towards Garrus's bunk. She heard giggling coming from the room and halted in the doorway. Garrus had Xara pinned against the wall her uniform askew, Jane cussed and tried to retreat from the door when Xara laughed, "Don't run off human, you'd think you'd never seen this before. Garrus and I were just talking about, arrangements."

Jane turned and plastered a smile on her face, "I didn't mean to interrupt, Garrus and I just have someplace to be, but if you'd like I can come back."

Garrus quickly pushed Xara away and cussed under his breath, he wasn't doing anything wrong, so why the hell did he feel guilty as shit?

"No, I'm coming Jane, just give me a second."

Jane stifled a laugh and rolled her eyes, as Garrus ran a hand over his face. "Spirits don't make everything I say a joke."

As Xara brushed by Jane leaving the room, she gave her a very self-satisfied smirk and continued down the hall her thin waist and hips swaying and Jane rolled her eyes again.

"It's not my fault you make it so easy Garrus, besides I figured you'd have better taste."

Garrus tried to think of something to say as he straightened his uniform, how could he tell her that at this point anyone would do? Anything that would get her damned red hair out of his mind, he couldn't very well tell her that every time he was around her he had very inappropriate feelings for his best friends girl. That every time he touched her he got a very awkward rush.

Hell he wasn't even sure what he was feeling, he had hopped a good romp would stop his wandering mind from thinking about what her hair and skin would feel like, but that had been exactly what was on his mind, even as he had Xara pushed against the wall.

"Well she is kind of a bitch, but her legs go on for days." There he'd said something that might stop this stupid line of thought and conversation. But then why did that guilt spring up again as Jane glanced down at her own legs. Shit, he didn't want her to think she was unattractive, granted she wasn't Turian beautiful, but there was just some damn thing about her that was driving him nuts.

As they stood in awkward silence, Garrus noted the bruises under her eyes, not to mention the ones on her neck, arms, her lips were puffy and broken, and where as it should have been ugly it made those fleshy bits even plumper and his mind wandered off again.

Shaking his head he took a step towards her and ran a talon under her eye.

"Jane, what the hell happened to you yesterday? Nihlus told us about your," Jane sighed and lifted a hand.

"That was not for Nihlus to tell you, and for now the situation is solved. Don't worry about it."

"Jane, I can't help but worry about," Just as he was about to say it, Nihlus rounded the corner and Garrus practically jumped back from her.

"There you are Garrus are you coming to," he froze as Jane turned to him and he saw her face, he was to her in one long stride and pulled her into his arms.

"Janey, Spirits I'm sorry, I should have been there, and I should have saved you. How can I just leave now?"

"Nihlus, you can't always save me, I have to figure this out, I'll be fine, you have your orders, besides Garrus is here and Sadria. Don't worry."

The three friends fell in step together as they walked towards the shuttle pad.

"Listen you two, don't go off and do anything I wouldn't do," he chuckled and nuzzled his head against Jane's she stepped back as he turned to Garrus.

Garrus went very still at the look on Nihlus's face, and tried to keep his as passive as possible. And when Nihlus didn't speak right away he had the urge to fidget out of guilt. But when Nihlus did speak it shocked Garrus right down to his talons.

"Thanks Garrus, I knew I could count on you." He took his arm in a shake and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Take care of her for me." And with that he turned, took Jane into his arms again in a farewell. Jane stepped back and smiled up at him. "Hey, don't fuck up alright?"

Nihlus laughed and turned to board the shuttle, leaving Jane and a very guilty feeling Garrus standing alone together.

Garrus sighed as the shuttle lifted off, Jane kept her eyes on the shuttle until it was a small speck in the sky, and she turned back towards Garrus.

"So, how are you spending your weekend?" Garrus's mandibles went tight against his face as he had the overwhelming urge to ask her out, maybe find a way to make that look of pain ease off her face, and he sighed rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm not sure, but I had better get back to it," he stumbled and turned trying to put distance between them.

"Oh sure, run back to Xara, she looks like she likes it rough, sure you can handle it Vakarian?"

Garrus watched her face, her lips trembled and he could tell she was teasing him. Why did he feel like he was abusing her trust? He had no claim on Jane, in fact he reminded himself, it was the best thing for him to put distance between them. Xara was just the thing to cause that distance, and he knew it was the right thing to do. But then why as he walked away did he head directly for the range, and not seek her out?

"Damn it Jane Vandrel, get out of my head. You belong to someone else." He muttered under his breath as he practically ran from her.

Jane laughed at the retreating Garrus, he must be in a bad way if he was running back into Xara's arms, that lady could kill a Krogan with those looks of hers.

She turned her eyes back towards the sky thinking about Nihlus and his first mission.

ooOoo

Had she known then, that had been last time she would ever talk to Nihlus, she would have thought of something better to say.


	7. Right Here

"That's the third time this month Vandrel. What am I going to do with you? You continue to show up late for formation, you ask to leave during classes, what the hell am I supposed to think? I've had to take away your weekend pass twice, this time you just lost your entire training squads weekend pass. Maybe that will help teach you that what you do, doesn't only affect you, but your entire squad. They depend on you, and you're letting them down. Dismissed Vandrel, I trust we won't be having this conversation again anytime soon."

As she exited Andruis's office Jane felt like kicking something. She turned and headed for the barracks. Her squad was going to murder her for this one, it's not like she was trying to do this, but Vyrnnus was always one step ahead of her. It had started out as small things, running an errand here or there. But lately she had damn near become his group's full time slave. It was getting in the way of everything, and she had no idea how to fix it. She paused at the door to her bunk, sighed and readied herself for the onslaught.

She didn't have to wait long, the moment she entered something hard and metallic sailed past her head and smacked against the wall. She ducked and moved towards her bunk, trying to ignore the yells and shouts of those present. Sadria motioned for her and she sunk down next to her on the bunk.

"You really did it this time, it's all I could do to not have them waiting with rifles for you to come back."

"Thanks Sadria, but maybe you should have just let them shoot me. It might be the only way I'm going to be able to get this to end."

"You might want to write your father about this, Vyrnnus isn't just going to stop."

"No, that's the last thing I want to do. Honestly, how would that look if I ran off and tattled to my dad the General?"

"You've got a point, but then what are you going to do? If you keep up at this rate you're going to end up kitchen help for the rest of your career."

"Yup, guess I should have paid more attention to my mom's cooking lessons." Jane flopped back on the bunk and laid her arm over her eyes. What the hell was she going to do?

ooOoo

Another week, and nothing had happened, granted, Vyrnnus and his cronies were gone on deployment, so Jane had almost a whole week with no demands on her. She was at class on time, and perfect at formation. In drills she was excellent and of course her marksmanship was impeccable. Taking a deep breath she leaned over her rifle and adjusted her sight. She even had time to relax a little with her rifle, and for the first time since her run in with Vyrnnus she wasn't watching over her shoulder.

Garrus stood back watching Jane, her movements were fluid. She moved from one crouched position to a standing resolve in smooth movements. She fired, recovered to a new position and fired again without as much as a stutter. She was beautiful like this, and he had found himself seeking her out here every chance he got. She had seemed to be tense in the last month, every time she would take a shot, she would look over her shoulder like she was waiting for something. He knew that something was Vyrnnus, he had wanted to do something about it, but Jane had wanted to deal with this. He was trying to let her, but Spirits it was painful to watch.

He saw her pause between one of her perfect tucked rolls, she didn't fire right away instead rocked forward to her knees, letting her head fall back, her hair was coming out of her braid, he watched as the wind caught the little strands and blew them across her face which was turned to the sun. He knew she was enjoying the warmth, she hated the cold and he caught himself wishing he could brush those loose strands back from her face, finally feeling if her skin was as soft as he imagined it to be.

His gaze didn't leave her face as her eyes popped open and locked on his. She smiled, oblivious to his thoughts and motioned him over. Garrus knew he shouldn't, he should turn and walk away, just like he had every other day as he watched her. He had been good to his vow to himself and Nihlus. He had kept his distance, trying to spend his time pursuing Xara, but his heart and head really wasn't in it. Besides, he didn't really have to pursue her; she was practically throwing herself at him. As for his promise to Nihlus, he had kept his eyes on her when he could.

"Not that you mind watching her." He mumbled as he made his way down the slight hill to where Jane still sat on her knees, watching him. Her hair was a brilliant red in the dying light, and his fingers itched to run through it and satisfy whatever it was in him that was screaming for her nearness. Even as his mind told him to run, but his mind didn't win this time though as he came to a halt above her.

"What are you doing out here Garrus? Isn't this date night, or whatever it is that you're doing with Xara?"

He didn't take her bait at first, instead watching her push her hair behind her little ear. Her fingers brushed over her neck, it was an innocent gesture on her part. Most likely she didn't even know she had done it, and he felt that first warning rush of blood through his body as he wondered what it would be like to bite down on that soft flesh, there just above that bone on her neck.

He forced his gaze from her neck and to her eyes, she watched him and she squinted in annoyance when he didn't answer her. As he watched her eyes on him in silence, he would have sworn he saw something flash in their depths. Jealousy, anger, was she; no she couldn't possibly be angry about him and Xara.

"Are you just going to stand there staring at me Garrus? I asked, isn't it date night?"

He shook his head and smiled as he removed his rifle. "You've been in so much trouble lately; I haven't had time to have a little shoot out with you. You're the only competition I have here. So no actually, it's kick Jane Vandrel's butt night."

"That sounds like a date to me, what do you think Nihlus and I used to do on all of those long days, in the middle of nowhere."

"Well I can think of a lot better things to do."

Jane chuckled low in her chest, it rumbled and he realized she had taken on aspects of their speech that went far beyond simply learning their words, and that simple laugh, took him right back to the place he was trying to escape.

"Well, this is how we would blow off steam. This and of course pretending we were out on a ship, somewhere in the Galaxy. Now I'm here and he's out there." She shrugged and reached towards him. He had to stop himself from pulling back as she turned his scope.

"I can see why you've been pulling to the left lately."

Garrus scoffed and readjusted the scope.

"Well once again, I can think of a lot of things that are much more fun to do, to you know, blow off steam. Also I'll have you know that my shot has not been pulling to the left, it goes precisely where I mean it to." There it was again, at the mention of blowing off steam that didn't involve guns, something he couldn't quite grasp, flashed through her eyes.

"Don't tell me, that is all you and Nihlus did?" He hadn't really meant to say it, he didn't really want to know, but there was some part of him that couldn't help but ask. He didn't want to see the look she was giving him, so he focused on the target at the other end of the field.

"No, you have to remember, I was only a little over fourteen when he left. I'm just now almost sixteen. You know most females don't start trying for mates until they are at least fifteen. I figured it kind of came with the territory of the Academy."

He knew without her saying it that she was referring to him and Xara.

"Honestly I don't even know why we're talking about this." She sighed and turned her attention to the target.

The field was silent, save for their rifle fire. Finally after going round for round at almost a dead heat, Garrus pushed away from his rifle. It was now fully dark and Jane was only a silhouette. But her scent still enveloped him, she smelled like the sun, and this sage they had on Palaven that after a very rare rain would open and fill the air with its smell. It was a rare smell, and that's what she was, rare.

Even in the dark he could tell she was watching him, her eyes extremely keen in the inky black.

"Just so you know Jane, there are other ways to relax; I was thinking maybe you should come with us on leave this weekend. I know Sadria has tried to drag you out, but you've lost your pass like it's a bad habit. Come on, it'll be good for you to get out of here."

She nodded and he heard her sigh as she stood and stowed her rifle.

"Speaking of which, we should get out of here before lights out."

"Yeah, we should." He stood and when she moved to go past him he moved at the same time and she bumped in to his chest, his arms went around her to steady her. But no matter how much his mind told him to let her go, his body wouldn't cooperate.

She laughed and made to move to her left, but he didn't let her and she stared up at him.

"Come on Garrus, I'm not going to fall on my face, I promise."

He shook his head, trying to clear the fog and removed his arms, and she moved away from him towards the barracks.

"Hey Jane, try to not get your pass taken away, alright?"

There was that laugh again and it caused his mind to fade, and he smiled into the darkness as she answered.

"I don't know Garrus, it's a long day, and who knows I might just have to square off with that girlfriend of yours. She's a real pain in the ass by the way."

He wanted to tell her that she wasn't really his girlfriend. But she most likely knew that their relationship would never go beyond the stolen moments in dark halls, moments Garrus honestly didn't really care to remember. Xara was supposed to have one purpose. The removal of Jane from his mind, and that had failed miserably.

But before he could say another word she turned and ran the rest of the way back to the barracks, making Garrus wish it wasn't dark, her hair bounced when she ran, it was almost as good as watching her shoot.

ooOoo

Sadria laughed as she watched Jane sprinting towards the gate and the shuttle that would take them to the city. Jane grinned at the group as she hopped in the shuttle.

Xara groaned as she stared at Jane. "Does it, really have to come with us?"

"Shut your face Xara, you're lucky we let you come."

Xara made a face but Sadria ignored it and Jane laughed as she hurried to a seat. "Let's just get the hell out of here before they change their mind and decide my pass is a fake."

"You're going to love this Jane." Sadria nudged her as she took the seat next to her.

"Well I'll have to take your word for it; I've never been to a club."

Xara snickered but Garrus pointedly ignored it, "Well you know how to drink, just let the music do the rest. If you're feeling lucky, I'll teach you to gamble."

"Garrus, I'm not sure you're the best one to teach Jane how to gamble. Are you forgetting last leave?"

Garrus glared at her and folded his arms over his chest. "That was one time, I'm normally very lucky."

Sadria stared at Xara who was practically plastered to his side and she snorted, "Yeah, you look it."

He knew what she meant and at that moment he regretted telling Xara she could come, he really wanted to be able to show Jane around, and now he'd spend the whole night getting Xara drinks and playing the nice date. Damn it.

Jane tapped her fingers together as they finished their trip. They all piled out of the shuttle and Sadria took her arm and lead her down the street towards the Club.

She could feel the pulsing beats before they were even inside, she couldn't imagine how anyone could have a conversation or enjoy themselves with how loud it seemed. Sadria must have read her expression because she laughed. "It's not really a place for having in depth conversations."

Once inside Jane realized how right she was. It was dark, bright points of light flowed like ribbons on the mass of moving Turians on the dance floor. Jane got the normal odd looks and stares she was used to, before Garrus lead them to a booth and Xara ordered her first drink and Garrus wandered off to get them all something.

They sat talking about other classmates, teachers, Garrus's officer training and as Jane downed her third drink she glanced up at Garrus and narrowed her eyes. "Hey what's that?"

She pointed to the new sighting instrument that was now over Garrus's left eye.

"Oh this, it's a birthday present from my father."

"I didn't know it was your birthday. Why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugged, "I'm seventeen, didn't seem important."

"Of course it's important, another drink all around. Here's to Garrus, seventeen and already on his way to being the best damn officer in the Turian military, oh and the second best shot."

She winked and downed her drink, "I hope you know that thing isn't allowed when we're in competition, not unless you plan on getting me one."

"Sure, I'll get you one, it's going to be pink, maybe have some frills on it. How does that sound?"

Jane snorted and refilled her drink from the bottle.

Xara looked from Garrus to Jane and back again.

"What the fuck is next? You going to start sharing markings, you have your ruined Turian, leave mine the hell alone."

Jane lifted a brow and stared at the very angry face of Xara. "What are you talking about? Garrus and I are just friends."

Garrus almost flinched, he knew they were only friends, but hearing it like that killed something in him.

Xara seemed pleased that there was no argument from either side, and scooted closer to him.

Sadria rolled her eyes and stared out at the dance floor.

"Okay Jane, time to teach you what the best part of this club is."

"You mean besides the fantastic company?" She grinned at Xara, but only got an icy glare in return as she was lead to the dance floor.

Sadria began moving to the music, her movements matched the music and she grabbed Jane showing her how to move.

Jane was giggling as she tried to copy the movements. After the first few dances she was feeling comfortable and was starting to get into it when Garrus joined them. His dancing was natural and she laughed at the sight, but as she lifted her eyes and glanced towards the door, her perfect night came crashing down.

There at the door stood Vyrnnus and his group, Jane excused herself to the washroom, before anyone else could realize anything was wrong. Washing her face she stared in the mirror, trying to muster the courage to go out and finish her night. Taking a deep breath she exited the washroom and was immediately shoved against the wall.

"Here you are Vandrel, did I say you could go out? Imagine my surprise when I get back to base and find you missing. And I find you here, doing what?" He leaned into her, an arm on either side of her, blocking her in. "Been drinking, dancing? Enjoying your night? How about you and I find somewhere to enjoy it together," Jane could tell he had been drinking as well as he leaned in close to her ear, and whispered.

"You know Jane, we could work something out, I'm sure you're tired of doing our chores, I've heard human bodies aren't that different from Asari. What do you say to a different arrangement, you, taking care of my needs in a different way, all you have to do is everything that I say," His tongue flicked out and ran a line from her collar bone up to her ear and she tried to shove him away. Grabbing her, he shoved her roughly back against the wall.

"I wasn't really asking, I'm going to take what I want from you, and there isn't anyone who is going to stop me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Vyrnnus."

Jane's head jerked up at Garrus's voice and she sucked in a breath at the pure rage on his face.

"I suggest you move on Vakarian, this doesn't concern you."

"That's where you're wrong, it does concern me."

Vyrnnus must have seen something in Garrus's look that Jane couldn't see, because he let go of her and moved instead to stand in front of him.

"Oh really, I didn't know you felt that way, well if you're patient maybe I'll let you have my leftovers, until then, I suggest you get out of my business before I have to hurt you."

"Since I'm not going to let that happen, I welcome you to try."

Vyrnnus threw the first swing and Garrus ducked it easily, from there the melee moved to the dance floor, punches kicks and rolls were all made to look jerky and disconnected by the strobe light. Jane couldn't follow the fight and couldn't tell if Vyrnnus was using his biotics or not, she moved on to the dance floor and a blast of biotic energy flew past Garrus knocking over a nearby booth.

Everyone, even the rest of Vyrnnus's group had gathered to the sides. It seemed to Jane that everything besides Vyrnnus and Garrus was frozen in time.

Jane was shoved to the back of the group where one of the Cabals made to grab her; she forced her way to the front of the crowd again, losing him in the throng of people, just in time to see the flash of a knife as Vyrnnus approached Garrus ready to leap.

"Garrus, he's got a," but before she could warn him, Garrus had his side arm pulled and fired three shots at Vyrnnus's chest and one at his head. A military kill. Shit, what the hell had just happened? How could everything go from perfect, to fucked up beyond all recognition in such a short span of time?

"Because you're involved Jane." She muttered as Garrus took two steps and pulled her against him.

"You're okay Jane?"

"Am I okay? Are you okay?" She pushed back checking him for wounds before she turned towards Vyrnnus.

"This isn't good Garrus, shit; I wish I wouldn't have come."

"This isn't your fault Jane, Vyrnnus has had this coming for a long time. This though was self-defense and all that, still we should get back, get to Andruis before anyone else does."

As he took her hand and led her from the club towards the shuttle Jane felt like she was going to be sick. They sat opposite each other on the shuttle; she had been staring at the floor and finally forced herself to make eye contact with him. He was watching her, concern written on his face and she hated it, she felt guilty, he shouldn't be concerned for her.

"Garrus, if I messed up your officer training, I'll never forgive myself."

He looked confused at this, and reached forward lifting her chin so he could see her whole face.

"What the hell are you talking about Jane? Do you understand what he was about to do to you? What he would have done in front of everyone?"

"I know Garrus but," he stopped her words with a tap of his talon against her Jaw.

"No buts Jane, I would never let anyone touch you like that."

Jane's brows furrowed at that, "No one?"

He pulled back from her, realizing what he'd said. He turned and stared out the window, knowing without looking that her head was quirked to the side, a question burning in her green eyes. A question neither of them should be asking, let alone answering.

The shuttle landed and he motioned towards the door, "Let's go deal with our repercussions shall we?"

ooOoo

They waited for what seemed like an eternity outside of Commander Andruis's office, the waiting was worse than anything, the not knowing. There was definite shouting coming from the office, and finally a young Turian, the Commanders aid came out and without really looking at them, showed them into the office.

"What the hell happened out there Vakarian? I'm getting reports of a firefight, Vyrnnus killed, you had better have some answers and they had better be damn good." Andruis was livid, he stood motionless before them, but the rage was written on his face.

"Sir, had I not stopped him he would have raped Vandrel, and had I not shot him he would have killed me."

Andruis's brow plate lifted slightly at this as he stared Garrus down.

"You're saying it was justified in self-defense?" Andruis shook his head and moved towards them.

"Your record is impeccable Vakarian, and damn lucky for you there were quite a few officers present who verified that story." His eyes turned towards Jane.

"You just seem to find yourself in all sorts of trouble don't you Vandrel? Maybe you should focus on your studies a little more."

"This hasn't been her fault Sir," Andruis lifted a finger towards Garrus without turning towards him.

"I did not ask your opinion Vakarian." He looked between them and pulled his shoulders back straight.

"Seeing as this was an act of self-defense, I won't send you both packing back to your parents in disgrace. But that being said, you are both confined to the base indefinitely, dismissed."

They saluted, about-faced and left the office. As soon as the door was closed Jane leaned against the wall and released the breath she had been holding in a woosh.

Garrus chuckled and pulled her off the wall and gave her a shove towards her barracks.

"That could have gone a lot worse, we're lucky others were there."

"No, I'm lucky you were there Garrus, can you imagine if I would have tried to stick up for myself and that happened? No one would have verified my story."

"You're wrong Jane, Sadria and I would have. I'll always be here if you need me."

He watched as she worried her bottom lip and he sighed, his head was killing him and he didn't need thoughts of those fleshy bits on top of it.

"Listen, go get some sleep Jane. I'll talk to you later."

She nodded and he watched her until she disappeared into the far building and he closed his eyes leaning against the wall, thoughts of what would have happened if he hadn't been right there flashed before his eyes and he sighed, thanking whoever was listening that he had been there.

ooOoo

The next few weeks were quiet; Jane was diligent in her studies and trained harder than ever. Determined to show Andruis, what and who she was, when she didn't have someone breathing down her neck. He seemed pleased with her progress, and things seemed normal for once, but things, are never as they seem.

Jane was on the track, she had just finished trial war games, she'd done extremely well, well enough she'd even gotten a 'good job' from Andruis, which at this point felt like a major victory. She was being run tight; they all were after what had happened. Though as Jane reflected on it, she had flourished under it, her thoughts and run were interrupted as Sadria caught up to her.

"Hey, aren't you tired after the games? Just watching you was making me tired."

Jane chuckled but didn't stop.

"Yeah, screw this, I do enough running during training, I'll see you at supper."

Jane nodded and Sadria took off. To Sadria's credit she hadn't asked one thing about the club, she liked that about her, she left well enough alone, she could see her father in her.

"Garrus was just finishing his first short outing as a squad leader, he enjoyed being out, but he didn't care for the leadership role, he'd much prefer to just sit back and take out people from afar. His musings were interrupted as he looked up towards the med bay, and caught sight of one of Nihlus's squad leaving.

"Hey, Marrus when did you guys get back?"

Marrus glanced up; he looked like he had taken a direct hit from a spray of shrapnel.

"Shit, you guys saw some action, where's Nihlus?"

Marrus stared at him but didn't answer, and Garrus knew something wasn't right.

"Marrus, what the hell happened?"

"We ran right into a full platoon of Alliance, there was so many of them, we didn't pull back, just kept pressing. Nihlus took out so many on his own, he kept pushing, he was the reason the rest of us made it out."

"What the hell are you saying Marrus."

Marrus ignored his question and just kept going as if reliving it.

"He hit their front line and decimated it, he was pushing, he turned the tide, until," he drifted off, his eyes had a haunted faraway look. "None of us saw the biotic until it was too late, his black armor hid him in the darkness, and then Nihlus was down. He didn't make it Garrus, but he made damn sure the rest of us did."

Marrus didn't wait a moment longer, just continued on towards his bunk. Garrus stared after Marrus, he must still be in shock, what Nihlus had done was what he was trained to do.

He stood staring after Marrus until an image of Jane pushed to the forefront of this thoughts, shit did she know? If she did, hell he needed to find her, and if she did know, he had a good damn idea where she would be.

He ran towards the practice range, it was empty as most everyone else was gone for the day. Jane must be there, or at least she had been, her rifle was there but she wasn't with it. He found her as he walked towards the rifle; she was sitting with her back against the building her face turned towards the sky.

As he approached her, her head dropped to her knees. Stopping before her, he grabbed her hand and pulled her up and to his chest.

"Jane, I heard about Nihlus, you know he,"

She shook her head against his chest, and he stopped talking and let her nuzzle into his shoulder. Her tears were hot and soaked his uniform, his hand lifted on its own and stroked down her hair that had fallen out of her braid. He was so busy taking each of her sobs into his body, feeling her pain, trying to ease it without words, letting his body be her shield, that he didn't realize how soft it was through his talons.

They stood motionless, Jane in Garrus's arms, he felt her pain to the very core of him, and he swore to himself that he would never let her feel like this again. He realized it was possessive of him, but for the first time he didn't feel guilt, only the understanding that he needed her in his life, right or wrong.


	8. What We Lost

Ganis stood with Victus before the Hierarchy; this was the summons he had wished would never come. Victus gave him a sideways look that said, 'Relax, let this happen.' So gathering his will he stood at attention and didn't say a word.

"General Vandrel, we've called you here to discuss the issue of, your daughter." Ganis noted that the last word was added, almost forcefully, and almost grinned in spite of the situation.

"Jane will be sixteen in a few months, ready for her first combat action with a field unit. As you know, the decision to allow Jane into the Academy was not made without some, trepidation. We have received word that she is one of the best snipers to come through the Academy. Breaking some records held by you I believe. In fact her group is one of the finest groups of snipers we've ever seen." The Turian speaking paused and glanced to the others at his side, before continuing. "As you know we've had an issue with an elite group of Alliance biotics. One in particular actually has caused us nothing but headaches. It has been decided that Jane's unit will be sent into this combat zone in the next few months on their first outing. At this time, it will be 'arranged' for Jane to be captured. We would like her inside the Alliance."

Ganis waited for a moment before asking, "Permission to speak Sir?"

"Yes of course General."

"Will Jane be informed of this sir, trained? She doesn't remember the human language, or how to interact with humans."

"To an extent General, she will be given the mission objective, as will the rest of her squad, in capture she will know to finish that. As for the language, and the fact we plan for her to be captured, no, we need her as natural as possible. "

Ganis sucked in a breath, "Sir, it sounds like you're planning to leave Jane captive for some time. What about extraction?"

"If what all of our reports say are true, plus what you and General Victus have said, she is a Turian, she has been trained how to deal with capture. Extraction will come after she contacts us."

"And if she doesn't?"

"We will consider it a loss, but we have the utmost faith that Jane will be able to complete this mission."

Ganis didn't like the sound of this at all. Every fiber of his body was screaming that it was wrong. The emotion must have shown on his face.

"General Vandrel, that's an order, oh, and one more thing General. When you and General Victus visit the Academy in a few months you will deliver the order, personally. Dismissed Genera Vandrel, General Victus, I'm sure you'll make sure everything is in order."

Victus stopped Ganis as the door slid closed, but it was Ganis that spoke first.

"Don't look at me like that, I have my orders, I'll follow them, if that's what has you worried."

"You understand why I let this happen don't you? If they find out who Jane is while she is in Alliance custody, she could be just what we need to stop this war; she could be the end to all of this."

"Or, just another casualty of war, there is no guarantee that she won't be killed on sight out there on the field. No, don't say anything General, we all have children, we all know they may be killed in this war, but if they use her for their own personal goals, and not for the betterment of us all and an end to this war, then they have wasted her life, and I won't be responsible for my reaction."

"Fair enough Ganis, but I honestly believe this could work."

"I hope you're right, for all our sakes."

ooOoo

_Little One,_

_My words would be insufficient to express how sorry I amto hear about Nihlus. I wish I could have been there for you sweetheart. I know he did his job well, and he would not want you to let your pain consume you. Remember him as he was and that he died a hero. I love you always. Dad_

Jane read the message again and finally hit delete, it had been the only message she had received from her father in the three months since Nihlus's death, and she needed to be rid of it. More than that, she needed to be rid of the guilt she had felt since the day Nihlus had died.

ooOoo

Three months, it had been three months, and he could probably count the times Jane had said more than five words to anyone. She didn't seem upset, she smiled and was perfect in classes, drills, had broken more than one record with her marksmanship proving that she was in fact better than him. Though he still wouldn't admit it, at least not in front of her.

He still found her at every turn, he tried to spend every moment with her, but though she smiled at him, her eyes avoided his and she kept her distance, ever since that first afternoon when she had held on to him and poured her soul into his, held on to him as if he was her gravity.

Garrus was lost in those thoughts, as he made his way across the deserted quad towards the mess hall when he saw Jane. She was very still, just staring out towards the horizon. Walking up to her he laid a hand on her shoulder, she turned towards him, her eyes staring out over his shoulder, she smiled but he noticed it didn't reach her eyes. They stood in silence for a few moments before Garrus motioned over his shoulder towards the mess hall.

"Hey, I was just about to get something to eat. Would you have dinner with me Jane? You missed lunch today." She shook her head, smiled and took a step away from him and towards the track. He couldn't take it, that lost look in her eyes, her distance from him, he needed her, and before he could stop himself, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the fold of his arms.

"Jane, can we talk?"

She didn't resist the pull of his arms, but he did notice the stiffening of her spine as he pulled her closer, but she nodded, staring at his chest. He lifted her face to his and stared down into her bright green eyes and in that moment said exactly what was on his mind.

"Jane, I've missed you. I know you're not gone, but every moment I'm with you, you feel like you're a galaxy away. Have dinner with me."

It wasn't really a question and she finally looked at him on her own, the haze cleared from her eyes and she frowned a bit.

"Okay, let me change and I'll meet you there."

Garrus couldn't help the grin that spread his mandibles wide as Jane pulled back from him. He turned and ran to his bunk, grabbing the gift he had held on to for her sixteenth birthday, it wasn't for another few weeks but he wanted her to have it now, she needed to know. Tonight, she needed to know tonight how he felt; he needed to know if she could ever feel the same. Hell he just needed to move in some direction. No matter what direction that might be, as long as it wasn't this holding position he had been caught in for three damn months.

As Jane pulled on a fresh uniform she couldn't help but smile, she liked Garrus, a lot. More than she should. She wondered if she had misread him, what if, she shook her head; she wouldn't let what if's ruin this. But as soon as the thought was out of her head, the guilt hit. She shouldn't be feeling this way so soon, no that wasn't it, you're just lying to yourself Jane, the problem is that you felt this way before Nihlus died, you liked him at the club, damn you Jane, you wanted him to keep holding you that day, even as you cried for Nihlus. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and left the room.

Garrus sat two trays at their table and set his present next to the tray across from him and glanced around the room. There were very few people around as everyone else was gone on leave, home for a week. Just as he thought everything was perfect, he glanced up towards the door as he saw movement, thinking it was Jane he smiled. The smile faded the instant his eyes landed on Xara. "Oh you've got to be kidding me."

She practically threw her arms around him and pulled his head down to hers, he could smell her scent on him, she wanted him and his stomach did a sick flip as she looked down at the table.

"You got us dinner, that's so great Garrus, you got my message then that I was going to be back early to spend time with you. My father wants to meet you, and would you believe my mother approves of you."

Garrus couldn't wrap his head around what she was saying and she paused, looking at the confused look on his face.

"You did get the message I sent?"

The look on his face said he hadn't, and she frowned.

"Who the hell is this for then? The human, really Garrus, you shouldn't spend so much time with it."

"Don't call her that!" He hadn't really meant to yell, but Xara jumped and then glared at him.

"I get it, you're curious about her, so what? Do what you want with her, but don't fool yourself, she's nothing, she can't breed, she's useless to any Turian, Nihlus was lucky he died before he got stuck in that, he would have been disgraced, you know it and I know it. Now, as I was saying my father was going to talk to your father," Garrus wasn't really hearing her anymore, his hands were clenched and as he looked away from her to keep from yelling, his eyes landed on Jane in the doorway just behind her. Had she heard? Before he could move, Xara turned and smirked at her and Jane nodded sadly, shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

Shit, she'd heard it all. He spun Xara back to him, "Listen here, there is nothing between you and me, nothing, ever, and there never will be. That human you can't stand? She's everything you'll never be." Leaving it at that he grabbed the present off the table and sprinted in the direction Jane had fled.

He found her a few minutes later, outside staring at the stars above her. She didn't move as he approached and she sighed keeping her eyes and face turned towards the sky. Garrus could see she had taken her hair down and it cascaded down past her shoulders. With her head thrown back he could see the white curve of her neck in the pale light and he moved another step towards her. She was still quiet so he held out the gift to her.

"I got you something, you know, for your birthday."

Her laugh almost sounded choked, as she took the gift thrust at her, it was an eyepiece just like his and she couldn't control it anymore as tears streaked down her cheek and she turned away from him holding the eyepiece in shaking hands, before she finally added softly.

"She's right you know. Nihlus is better off."

"No, Jane don't listen to her, she doesn't know you. Nihlus loved you for you; he would have never cared what anyone thought."

Jane chuckled low in her chest, and Garrus chanced another step towards her.

"I didn't mean he's better off because of what people would think of us. I mean he's better off because he never had to see me lie to him or myself."

Garrus's breathing slowed; laying a hand on her shoulder he turned her towards him.

"What does that mean? I've never known you to lie."

"I don't, but I would have for him, he would have never asked if I cared about you, so I would have never said anything. I would have lied not only to him, but to myself. Hell Garrus, I've been lying to myself for months, ever since his death, I've told myself that it's nothing."

Garrus wrapped his arms around her, his hands and talons found their way to her hair and he pulled her head to his.

"I understand more than you know, I've been fighting since the first day I met you, to not tell you how you make me feel, how just seeing you makes my breath catch. I want you Jane, and no not in a blow off steam way if you want to know, we have rifles for that. This is different, I want you Jane, I don't care what anyone says. I don't care about children. I want you," before he could say more Jane's fingers fluttered over his mandibles and he growled deep in his chest, before bending his head towards her neck. He nipped gently, just above the bone on her neck he had dreamed of, spirits her skin was soft under his teeth and he had to hold back from the urge to bite down. She moaned under him, a sound that caused his body to inflame and he pulled her against him, his plates threatening to shift. He let his tongue smooth the spot he had nipped, relishing the taste of her skin.

Running his talons up her side caused her to arch against him and he could feel the fleshy bits, so like Asari breasts, yet so different, press against him, and just as he was about to explore those soft fleshy mounds, someone cleared their throat behind them.

It was Commander Andruis and the two snapped apart.

"I'm sorry, was I interrupting something important?" Garrus and Jane kept their eyes firmly ahead, but Garrus knew Jane was turning that colour he loved, slightly pink, sometimes as red as her hair, and he longed to look at her, and finish what they had started. Instead they both answered. "No Sir."

"Good, I have news Vandrel, your father General Vandrel will be here tomorrow, as will General Victus. I suggest, you turn in early," his gaze rested on Jane before turning to Garrus, giving him a slight smile, before his face returned to a passive mask, "Dismissed."

Garrus took Jane's hand as soon as Andruis had walked away.

As they entered the barracks, Garrus pulled her towards his rooms, as he shared it with fewer people and they were all gone until tomorrow.

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her to him. He felt her almost melt in his arms. Their heads met as she straddled his lap and he smiled as his hands drifted over her chest and he groaned, mustering all of his willpower, and laid back, positioning her at his side. She fit perfectly, but the look she gave him was one of question.

"I want you with me Jane; it's the only chance I'll get before everyone gets back." Her eyes widened and the realization of what this was struck her. "Not a onetime, some time thing?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy, but a forever thing, I know we have a few years before we have any sort of permanent duty. I know this is fast Jane, if you think we shouldn't, say something now." she answered him by settling her head into his shoulder and laying her hand over his chest.

"The one thing I've learned is that we can't waste time, we don't know how much we'll ever have. I won't feel guilty for wanting to be with you. I don't know if you'll always feel this way, but I'll take what I can get."

He rolled to his side keeping her against him so he could see her face and traced a talon down her cheek. "No we don't know what's coming, but I know as soon as I can, I'll talk to your father, so he knows how I feel."

She flinched and he felt it. "Don't think your father will approve of me?" He asked with a quirk of his brow plate.

"No, it's not that, it's your parents. Spirits Garrus, I can't let you do this."

He settled her back against him, running his hand over her hair almost automatically, and it seemed to sooth her and he smiled, it was like rippling water under his talons.

"Yeah well my father is determined to be angry and disappointed in me. I'm not going to give you up because he might be angry. Besides, once he see's you as I do, he'll love you too."

Jane went very still, they had said they wanted each other, but that other word, that word was strong, it was a permanent word.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Love me."

"I do Jane, no matter how crazy it may seem I love you, everything about you."

"Yeah, it is a little crazy."

His mandibles pulled tightly to his face, what if she didn't love him, what if, but her hands circled around to the back of his neck, and he could feel her little nails digging into his flesh, she answered his purr with a chuckle.

"Don't get that look, like you're starting to pick apart everything I've said. It is crazy, but that's okay, we both are, because I'm in love with you Garrus."

No other words were shared as they lay together easing into sleep their heads tucked close, sharing their breath, as well as a promise of trust between them.

ooOoo

Jane was up before first light, she nudged Garrus and he pulled her back into his arms.

"I have to go, everyone is going to start getting back, and we have formation first thing."

He nodded sleepily and nuzzled her, letting his scent mark her forehead and neck and smiled knowing who would most likely be the first to smell him on her, not thinking about the repercussions only thinking of how happy he was.

"I'll see you soon."

Jane slipped into her bunk and felt like no sooner she had closed her eyes that she was being kicked awake.

"What the," a very angry Xara stood over her, and she realized everyone was already getting ready for formation.

"Where the hell were you last night?" She breathed in and glared down at her. "You worthless human, how dare you," but Jane jumped up and began getting dressed, ignoring the look of rage from Xara and the questioning look from Sadria.

"As much as I would love to stay and have this conversation with you, we're going to be late."

As she finished braiding her hair she nudged Sadria towards the door, with Xara shouting after her.

"You'll be sorry for this Jane Vandrel."

"What the hell was that, Jane?" Sadria was staring at Jane like she had grown a second head, but she just shrugged.

"Nothing, I just stopped lying to myself."

Sadria laughed and nodded. "I figured that would happen at some point, too bad I had to be gone when it happened, I would have loved to see that first hand."

Jane rolled her eyes, "Come on, and form up."

Just as they had formed ranks, Jane's sniper squad was called forward and they were lead to the briefing room. As they entered Jane's eyes landed on her dad and she nodded towards him, he nodded and couldn't keep the smile out of his eyes. The wordless greeting shared with equal warmth and longing.

As they finished taking their seats, General Victus stepped forward.

"As you all know, we've been in a heavy fight with a Special Forces group of Alliance, biotics, we know this is early, but we have need of your special talents. General Vandrel, if you would."

"Of course thank you General." Pulling up a tactical map Ganis pointed out a few buildings and the devastated land around it. "Your mission is to capture this camp, kill or force back all Alliance forces, there will be an infantry group with you to play clean up once you take out a few key targets, those targets will be uploaded to your omi-tools. You are to do what you do best, no tests, no games, this is combat, and you move out tomorrow, you have today to ready yourselves, I know each and every one of you is ready for this. Your mission parameters will be updated as you move, thank you, dismissed."

Jane stared dumbfounded, they were being deployed, already? Her heart clinched, this is what they trained for, so why did she feel like it was the worst day of her life?

As everyone began to file out of the room, Ganis pulled Jane to him and towards a side office, Garrus tossed her a glance and she returned it with a smile. Ganis caught this and narrowed his eyes at the squad leader, Vakarian he thought to himself, and Jane smelled like him.

As the door closed behind him he pulled Jane into his arms, "Oh my little one, I've missed you so much. I'm sorry." But he was silenced as Jane shook her head.

"I'm okay daddy, I've missed you too."

He nodded and held her close, finally pulling back from her and letting his eyes rest on hers.

"Jane, you'll be careful on this mission follow your training, in all things. And above all things, remember that I love you."

"I love you too."

He nodded and ran a talon under her eye, tracing the markings that mirrored his own.

"Jane, is there something between you and your squad leader, Vakarian?"

She blushed and Ganis almost laughed.

"I don't know what happened dad, I know I shouldn't feel these things so soon after," he hushed her with a talon against her lips.

"No, don't say that Jane, these things aren't controlled and when we try to, sometimes we can miss out on the best thing that could have ever happened to us."

She knew what he meant and she nodded, smiling. "I know what you mean dad."

"Good, Victus is off to see his daughter, then we must be gone. I love you, don't you ever forget that."

He pulled her back into his arms, and Jane would have sworn there was desperation in his voice.

ooOoo

Alone in silence, this is what they trained for, she could barely make out the other sniping positions of her team. She checked her breathing, controlling her heart rate. They had been in position, waiting almost a whole day. The forward position that they were to control was small, most of it was underground. There wasn't much movement, so they waited.

They had been given their targets, key biotics that if killed, would make it possible for the infantry to push into the compound.

"We've got movement Corporal Vakarian." Jane grinned at the use of his new rank, but quickly refocused on her rifle and the movement in the compound.

"I've got one in my sights, permission to take the shot."

Garrus's voice answered, calm, steady, "Take the shot."

With that the silence was broken, Alliance poured out of the compound in force, and the Turian infantry moved in and Garrus's voice rang out above the noise.

"Find your targets, fire and move."

The fighting wore on, but with the snipers covering the infantry, they were steadily pushing the Alliance back.

"Incoming shuttles, take them out, they are calling for an evac."

"Corporal Vakarian," it was Commander Andruis's voice.

"Belay that order; let the shuttles come, your objective is to take the compound. Send Vandrel to a forward point, I want that last target taken down, now."

"Sir, there isn't any cover," he was interrupted before he could finish.

"That was a direct order, give the damn order Vakarian."

Garrus was frozen; he knew sending Jane out there could likely be a death sentence. He sucked in a deep breath, and issued the order.

"Vandrel, get through that front line and stop our main target from getting on that damn shuttle."

Jane reacted instantly, not thinking of herself, only the mission, and Garrus held his breath as he watched her skirt the front line and sprint towards cover, perfect, he thought, not even a stutter, not a question. "Hell she's a better Turian than I am," he laughed, though as he lost sight of her his heart clenched as he waited for confirmation of the kill.

Jane could hear the pounding of her heart in her ears as she ran past the front line, she skirted one of the side buildings and scanned for her target, there, half way to one of the shuttles, damn it, she had no time to find cover, she had to go in, now.

Without thinking she rushed forward brought her rifle up and sighted in, she fired, and watched as his biotic shield rippled, shit. He was looking right at her now; she reloaded, and rolled to the side as she avoided his first biotic blast. She waited for the ripple of his shield to vanish, and as it faded, just as she was squeezing the trigger her rifle was ripped from her hands, struggling she tried to put up a biotic barrier but it was weak and barely stopped the first blast and the second hit her full on. The pain was searing at first and as she tried to move, she realized her limbs were useless, shit.

"Corporal, Vandrel is down, repeat, I have eyes on Vandrel and she is down. The Alliance have her body, I can't tell if she is still alive Sir."

"Well what the hell are you waiting for, go get," before he could finish, Andruis's voice was in his head.

"I did not give that order Vakarian, you have the compound. Do not push forward." Garrus didn't move, he didn't recall the order until he was shaken by the shouts of his men.

"Orders sir?"

Slamming his fist into the ground he stood.

"Secure the compound, do not push forward, and help the wounded here."

"Very good Vakarian, carry on."

It wasn't good, it was bullshit, and he felt sick as he stood watching helplessly, not knowing if the woman he loved was alive or not, worse, either way she was in Alliance hands, what would they do to her?

Jane felt herself being lifted up and carried towards the shuttle she had seen her target running towards, and then there he was leaning over her.

"Human, she's human and she was shooting at me? Is that the Turian military insignia on her armor? What the hell?"

"I don't know sir, we don't have time Lieutenant Alenko what do you want us to do with her?"

"Get her on the shuttle, we'll figure it out after we're off this rock and back on the ship."

"Roger that Sir."

Jane could barely make out black armor, she hadn't known his name, but she knew his reputation.

She could tell he was watching her but she couldn't understand what they were saying, she didn't have a translator in and cussed inwardly.

"Strong though, whoever she is. She took two blasts and she's still not fully out."

Alenko saw her eyes close and her head fell to the side, passed out from the pain most likely.

How the hell was he going to explain what just happened? Shot at by a human in Turian military armor, no one would have believed him, hell he wouldn't have believed it himself if the evidence wasn't lying on the floor in front of him.

This was going to be one hell of a debriefing.


	9. Like It Or Not

**Thank you so much for your reviews, even for those of you who think you can't write reviews, (you know you are) they are very welcome and fantastic. Since there was a blizzard outside today, there wasn't much more to do than write and play Mass Effect. I'm getting ready for the new DLC for ME3. Can't wait, so while you're waiting here is the newest chapter. More to follow soon as the next chapter is already underway. Thanks again everyone. ^.^**

Garrus felt numb as he stepped off the shuttle, and stared blankly at the Academy before him. Sadria was next to him, her voice sounded distant and he shook his head staring down at her. He could tell by the look on her face that she had been yelling at him.

"What?"

"What, the, hell, happened out there Garrus?" She felt like she was on the verge of exploding and Garrus was just standing there.

"We lost Jane, I don't know much else. She's gone, I don't know," he let his voice drift off as he felt it threatening to crack.

"Is she alive?"

"I don't know, the Alliance have her either way."

"Shit, her dad is going to lose his mind."

Garrus snapped out of his stupor at the mention of the General.

"Is he still here? I thought the Generals had left." His eyes scanned the landing pad, and found the two Generals that were about to board another shuttle.

"No, they got delayed here, they were just about to leave when," Garrus wasn't listening anymore, he was moving forward towards Ganis.

Ganis watched Garrus move through the people towards him, stepping away from the shuttle he waited, Garrus snapped a salute and waited to be recognized.

"Corporal Vakarian, you look like something is on your mind."

"Yes Sir, I lost Jane sir, I swear we'll get her back."

Ganis had to control the urge to reach out and comfort Garrus.

"You accomplished your objective Corporal. The mission is what is important, Jane knew that."

Garrus frowned as he watched General Vandrel's face. There was something he wasn't saying.

"Sir Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted Corporal," Ganis's hands went behind his back and his face went passive. His eyes though, Garrus knew that look, Jane got that look when she was upset. You could only see it if you knew what to look for.

"Sir, I could have gone after Jane, I was told to stand down I think it was a crap call. I could have got to her."

Ganis wanted to laugh, the young Turian in front of him was reminding him of himself twenty years ago, it was half the reason he wasn't a General long before the Hierarchy wanted something from him.

"You did as you were trained Vakarian," lowering his voice so only Garrus could hear he added. "Don't blame yourself; this was not your doing, but I'm going to have to ask you to let it go."

Garrus could feel his chest tighten, his heartbeat quicken, and he had to control his urge to shout, instead he took a deep breath and lowered his voice to match Ganis's. "Sir, I love your daughter, I'm not just going to let her go."

Ganis's mandibles barely fluttered and if Garrus had blinked at that moment he would have missed it.

"Son, I don't want you to let her go, I said let it go, the situation, for now at least, I'll be in contact with you. We'll see my little one again."

With that he saluted and turned to join Victus on the shuttle.

Garrus was shocked, there was definitely something going on that was way above his pay grade, but more shocking than that, General Vandrel had just smiled when he told him he was in love with his daughter. That was at least something. Shaking his head Garrus managed a smile as he thought of what Ganis had called Jane, little one. Ganis truly loved her, and that gave him hope.

Turning back to the main building Garrus headed directly for Andruis's office. He wasn't going to let her go, and he needed some answers, at least he needed to know the plan. There had to be a plan, right?

ooOoo

Garrus could practically hear Andruis's groan, as he saw who he had permitted into his office.

"Shouldn't you be in debriefing Vakarian?"

"Yes Sir, but I came to you to figure out what your plan for extracting Vandrel is. I want on that team Sir."

"There is no Team Corporal. Now please, see to the rest of your squad, you did well out there."

"No team sir? But there will be."

"When and if Vandrel contacts us, yes there will be a team to retrieve her."

"Wait, you're just going to wait until she contacts us? What if they take her to Earth?"

"You forget yourself Corporal. We will not risk that mission, she will contact us first, and then we will extract her when she is at a safe location, as for if they take her to Earth, I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but she is human, she'll be fine."

"No sir, I didn't notice she's human, she's one of us, you know that, don't deny it, what the hell is going on here?"

"Not another word Corporal, report to debriefing before I have you scrubbing every damn biffy on base. Do you understand me?"

Garrus wanted to yell that he didn't care, that he wanted answers, but knew when to back off. So swallowing his frustration he saluted, "Yes Sir," and left the office.

Leaning against the wall outside the debriefing room, Garrus closed his eyes and let out a sigh, he was tired, damn tired. He let himself slide down the wall, leaned his head back, and opened his eyes, "I'm sorry Jane," but the only answer was the steady beat of his aching heart.

ooOoo

Jane's head exploded, as she opened her eyes to glaring white light. Squeezing her eyes shut she attempted to sit up, her stomach promptly did a nose dive and she sunk back to the bed.

Someone was talking, she couldn't understand it but every word cut like a knife into her head. Every noise, every light threatened to cause her head to implode, wishing she could rip it from her body she set her jaw, and forced herself to sit up and open her eyes.

She stared around the room, it looked like a ships med bay, there were two guards at the end of the bed, she blinked, human, guards. Shit, it hadn't all been a bad dream.

One of the humans at the end of the bed was staring at her, she realized the talking she had heard, was him, and he was talking to her.

"Lieutenant she's awake, but she's not answering me."

The second voice must have been over the intercom.

The two guards went silent, just staring at her, until the door to the med bay slid open and the human biotic, black armor, the last target, entered the room. He stood before her and began talking, she strained, trying to recognize anything he was saying, but it was useless, even if she could have recognized any of the words, he was talking much too fast.

She shook her head and frowned, as the door opened again.

She knew the uniform, Alliance Captain, this must be his ship.

They were both talking to her, and she shook her head and held up a finger. "I can't understand you."

They both stopped cold, and a look of disbelief was shared between them.

"Is she speaking Turian?"

"I think so sir, my translator kicked in."

They turned back to her and she sighed pointing to her ear. "I need a translator, if you want to have more than a one-sided conversation."

The Captain turned to the biotic and motioned towards the door.

"Get her a translator Alenko, and get that crap off her face. She even looks like one of them. Then bring her to the ready room. We need some answers."

"Aye aye sir," the Captain left the room with the biotic behind him and Jane stood, the guard motioned for her to stay, his rifle at the ready, Jane rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not going anywhere." He frowned at her; she ignored it and tried to stretch out her sore body.

She bent at the waist and placed her hands on the floor, stretching out her back arms and legs, and when the door swished open she watched the biotic walk back in, he stopped frozen, staring at her upside down face staring at him from between her legs.

Alenko watched as the girls red hair flipped over her shoulder as she stood up and turned to him, her hands were clasped behind her back and she stood at parade rest, waiting he realized, for him. Shaking his head he moved forward and handed her a translator, she placed it in her ear, and returned to parade rest once again waiting.

"I'm Lieutenant Alenko, are you well enough to walk?"

"Of course Lieutenant, lead the way."

He walked to the door, and she followed, he stopped outside the washroom and gestured towards the door. "Get washed up and meet me back out here."

Jane looked down at her armor and then back up at him and quirked her head to the side.

"I'm in armor, I'm fine."

"I mean your face you need to wash off the paint."

Jane frowned and didn't move.

"The markings on my face, mark what colony I'm from, I'm not washing them off."

Alenko didn't move from the door and gave her a shrug. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I'm asking you, to wash them off. Don't make me have to do it."

Gritting her teeth, Jane entered the washroom and avoided looking at the mirror. She washed her face quickly, and stepped back into the hall without a word.

They walked in silence before he once again stopped and motioned towards a room; she entered and once again promptly fell to parade rest.

She watched as the man behind the desk stood and walked to stand in front of her.

"I'm Captain Anderson, this is my ship, and those were my men you opened fire on. What is your name and rank?"

Jane's eyes were straight ahead as she answered in a clipped direct tone; though her heart was pounding so hard she was sure everyone in the room must be able to hear it.

"Jane Vandrel, Initiate, sniper division."

"Vandrel, you must be joking."

Jane didn't move, just tried to control her breathing, keeping her gaze off of his.

"What is your real name?"

Jane looked confused, "I'm not sure what you mean Captain."

"Your real name, you're obviously not Turian, so I want your real name."

Jane didn't answer and Anderson stepped closer to her, "You're telling me, that your name is Jane Vandrel, as in General Vandrel?"

Jane simply nodded; not offering any other information and Anderson stepped back and tried a different approach.

"What is the name you were born with?"

She frowned and finally met his eyes with hers, and repeated a name she hadn't thought of in years.

"Shepard," Anderson froze as the name was said.

"Shepard, that's not possible."

"How long have you," he stopped staring at the Turian armor. "How long have you been with the Turians?"

Jane frowned; they had been trained about interrogation on everything except how to handle questions about her past. Was she supposed to answer?

"I was six, when I was adopted by," she trailed off at the look on the Captains face and for the first time in a very long while, Jane felt fear grip her.

"Alenko, take Jane to a room, watch her at all times, only you. Don't let her talk to anyone, do you understand?"

"Aye sir," Alenko turned and led her back down the hall and to a room, and took her inside; there were bunks, chairs and a table. As they entered, he turned and locked the door behind them.

ooOoo

Anderson paced his ready room before opening his com, "Flight Lieutenant, get me Admiral Hackett."

"Aye Sir, he's at one of our forward bases on Primaria, it may take a bit to get him."

"Belay that order, set a course for Primaria, it would be easier to show him this."

"Aye Sir, this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that hot little red-head we picked up would it?"

"That will be all Joker, it would be a shame to end such a promising career, a week after it was started, don't you think?"

"Roger that sir, course is set, I'll let you know when we're inbound."

Jane stood with her back towards one of the bunks, watching the man, Alenko, sit at the table and motion for her to do the same. She really wished she could calm her breathing; she didn't know what to do, so she took the chair and sat.

"So, Jane, I'm Kaidan, I figure we might as well get to know each other, since you were trying to kill me. Why were you trying to kill me?"

Jane quirked her head to the side, watching his face, he seemed upset, but she couldn't be sure.

"I was ordered to."

"Right, ordered to, by the Turian command. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe that the Turian's would allow you in the military."

She laughed and Kaidan was shocked to hear it rumble deep in her throat and chest.

"Yeah, you're not the first one; my father had to fight to have them let me in."

"Your father," Kaidan repeated and she could have bitten her tongue off. What was she doing sitting here talking to a human, not just any human, the very same human she had been sent to kill.

Kaidan saw her freeze and shook his head.

"Listen, I get it, but seeing as you're not going to kill me right now, how about you tell me about yourself."

Jane tapped her fingertips together as she watched him, he looked very relaxed, like he was about to kick his feet up on the table. She glanced around the room taking account of everything, her heart beat was returning to normal as she wondered if she could incapacitate him before he could draw his weapon. Biotic she reminded herself, and so resigned herself to conversation.

"I'm sixteen, my name is Jane, and I was raised in the small colony of Randiv. As your Captain already figured out, my father is General Ganis Vandrel."

He just stared at her, his mouth opened a few times before finally asking. "So, you were really raised by one of them? What was it like, did they hurt you?"

She lifted an eyebrow and Kaidan found himself almost lost in her bright green eyes, she was gorgeous, he wondered if she knew how pretty she was, she couldn't, Turians wouldn't see her like that.

"One of them, you sound no different than the Turians when they first see me and what do you mean what was it like? I guess it was normal, my father is amazing. And to answer your other question, no, they weren't all mean to me, and I wasn't hurt really. I made my way, we get what we get, and we don't complain."

He remained silent after that, so she nodded towards him, "Yourself?"

"I'm nineteen and as I said, my name is Kaidan. I was raised in Vancouver on Earth, my family is military too."

She nodded, and silence settled around them, he was watching her, but there was something different in his eyes and it made her uncomfortable.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm just wondering what you were planning, were you going to live your whole life with the Turians?"

Her face went very still, and if he would have known what to look for he would have seen the pull and flutter at the sides of her mouth, if she had mandibles they would have sucked in close to her face, just as her cheeks did.

"Of course, it's my home, my life is there. Why do you look like you can't understand that?"

"Just, what about a husband, a life, you're very pretty to just not ever date or marry."

Jane couldn't have been more confused, if he would have handed her his gun and told her to shoot him.

"I'm sorry?"

"You know, a life, with kids and," Jane held up a finger, but he didn't stop.

"You're one hell of a shot by what I saw, I'm lucky I had my shields up, it must be because they train you so young, but the question is, what about after the military, that part of your life."

"Not that it's really any of your business, but I have a life as you put it, I'll take a mate after training, and as far as children, I've never been bothered by not being able to have any, I can adopt."

Kaidan had to shake his head, and blink a few times to make sure he'd heard her right.

"You're telling me, you date Turians? I figured they wouldn't find you attractive. I sure as hell can't see how you'd want to," he trailed off as she glared at him.

"I shouldn't have talked to you about any of this; I'm not sure why I started."

The silence was uncomfortable, at least for Kaidan, and he shifted in his chair.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I'm just curious as to why you'd want to live with them."

"What the hell do you mean want to live with them? Are all humans as confusing as you? I told you I didn't want to talk anymore, is there a problem with just," before she could finish his com beeped and the Captains voice filled the room.

"Lieutenant I want the prisoner readied for transport."

"Come on Jane, up, I've got to secure you, let's go."

She nodded and let him secure her hands and lead her back through the ship. They met Captain Anderson by the shuttle, they boarded in silence, and the trip was made in silence. She watched Kaidan as he sat across from her, his attention was on the Captain and she took the opportunity to really look at him. His dark hair was short and his face was firm, young, he had a haunted look in his eyes, like he had seen too much in his short life. She found she couldn't read his facial expressions; the movements of his lips didn't seem to match his mood.

His eyes moved to hers, and before she could drop her gaze he held it and smiled. What did that mean, shouldn't he hate her?

When they landed, she was taken to what looked like a small military outpost and put into a holding cell. She sat on the edge of the single cot in the room and stared down at the floor as the Captain turned and said something to Kaidan she couldn't hear, before he moved away down the hall. Kaidan stood outside the door, his back to her.

Hours must have passed, and Kaidan never moved, never looked at her. She wished she could lie back on the bed, she was tired, and truth be told her body was killing her. She finally let her thoughts drift to Garrus and the rest of her squad and she felt her heart skip a beat, wondering if they had all made it out alive. Had they known she was taken, or did they think she was killed? One overwhelming thought pushed to the front of her mind. What if they thought she was dead? What if they weren't looking for her?

This negative train of thought was cut short as the Captain joined Kaidan at the door with another man, he was older and she knew his uniform from her training, Admiral. Spirits, she was sitting in front of an Admiral of the Alliance. He was just staring at her, she stood even though he had not addressed her yet and his eyes moved from her boots up her armor, pausing at the Turian military insignia, and finally resting on her face.

"She can understand me?"

Nodding Captain Anderson motioned towards Kaidan, "Lieutenant Alenko gave her a translator, go ahead sir."

The man stepped closer to her, his voice was low and controlled.

"You told Captain Anderson that your human name is Shepard, is that true?"

"Yes, though I don't remember anything about it, only the name. It means nothing; I am Jane Vandrel, Initiate, Sniper Division."

He seemed to ignore her statement and continued. "Do you remember your mother's name?"

"Le'lani Vandrel," he sighed and asked again. "I mean your real mother's name."

"No."

"Do you remember your father's name?"

"General Ganis Vandrel."

"No, I mean your real father Jane." Her name was barely a whisper and she controlled a sigh. Apparently most humans didn't know how to listen.

"That is my real father's name. I know no other father."

"How old were you when," he stopped, he seemed like he was trying to control his emotions, before he started again. "How old were you, when he took you?"

"I was six, but he didn't take me, he adopted me to keep me from having to live in a prison."

The General looked angry and she watched his hands ball into fists at his sides. Why the hell did he care? What was the point of all of this, she hadn't been asked one normal question, nothing about their mission or anything, and she had no idea what to think.

The General seemed to decide something and turned back to the Captain and they left the room. The door sliding closed behind them. Alone she crawled back on the bunk and leaned back against the wall. Letting her eyes close promising herself it would just be for a moment.

ooOoo

"Anderson, I thank you for bringing her here, I want her left here. I will take her back to Earth with me on my ship when we're done." His gaze moved to Alenko, and he nodded at him.

"Leave Alenko here, I don't have enough men to spare to have her watched properly. I need someone with her at all times." Kaidan looked up quickly to Captain Anderson, but he was nodding. He was going to leave him here? But the two men weren't paying attention to him anymore; it was as if he wasn't even in the room with them.

"I thought she died with Anne, I never dreamed she would be alive, let alone be with the Turians. How could this have happened? How did we not know? You'd think we would have heard reports of a human child with a turian."

"Don't blame yourself sir, no one knew, if they kept her out of the way, then there was no way we could have ever known."

The Admiral wasn't really listening as he stared back towards the room.

"Do you remember the argument Anne and I had, after the peace summit went to hell? The twins had just been born, and she wanted to leave me. She said she wouldn't take my war mongering anymore, that we should have stopped at nothing to find peace with the Turians. I was younger then, and impulsive. I told her to take the girl and leave, but she wasn't taking my son. I never thought she would actually do it. She wouldn't talk to me outside of military issues, she avoided me, barely let me see Jane, and then she was gone, along with Jane."

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his forehead. "And here Jane is, alive."

"Are you going to tell her sir?"

"Not yet, did you see the way she was looking at us? If I walked in there and told her I was her father, she'd lose it. No, I want her to trust us; I don't want my daughter to fear me. I should have never let her mother take her, she was two the last time Anne even let me see her. God, she looks like her mother."

The room was quiet; Kaidan couldn't quite understand what he was hearing. Jane was the Admirals daughter? He had known the Admiral was married to a General who had died years ago in the war, he knew his son, sixteen, red hair, crap all the missing pieces were falling into place. Jane was Admiral Hackett's daughter, twin to John, and she had no idea. To make things worse, he knew just from the short time he'd spent talking to her, that she wanted nothing more than to be as far away from them as possible.

Anderson cleared his throat, bringing the Admiral back to him.

"What's your plan sir?"

"I'm needed here for at least a month. I want Alenko to stay, he's close to her age, his job will be to gain Jane's trust I need her to see that we aren't the enemy. Then I want to take her back to Earth, she'll meet her brother, and I'll give her the life she should have had."

Kaidan could barely control his face; first off, Jane saw them all as the enemy, she was raised that way. Second, she seemed to have no problem with her life, in fact she had hinted at a boyfriend, and he strongly doubted she would want anything to do with Earth. This was going to get messy.

ooOoo

Kaidan watched as Captain Anderson boarded the shuttle, and left him there. He should be back on the front with his squad, not babysitting the admiral's daughter.

As he entered Jane's room, she had looked exhausted, so he wasn't surprised to find her curled up and asleep on the bed. Grabbing a chair he sat and leaned it back against the wall, watching her.

She looked peaceful like this, her eyes closed, her breathing even. He didn't have to see the look in her eye, the one that said she didn't understand him, that she didn't want to. That if she had her way, he would be dead and she'd be back with her Turian boyfriend, he wasn't sure why that last thought was so bitter. Probably because she was much too beautiful to be wasted on a damn Turian, maybe getting her back to Earth was the best thing. He moved to scratch his shoulder and watched as her eyes opened, she watched him for a moment before sitting up. She looked disappointed at first, then angry, and finally nothing, a mask of nothing. Damn that was fast, she was good at that.

"So, Jane, we're going to be spending some time together. We're both stuck here, like it or not."

Jane's heart sped up; they were staying here, on planet. She had a chance here, unlike on a ship, here she had a chance to get away. Quickly she took a deep breath and looked up at Kaidan.

"Okay, what are we supposed to do then?"

"Well, do you play cards? Or, well what do you do for fun?"

She chuckled, "Sure, I play cards, but what I really do for fun, is shoot things. I didn't get this good by not practicing."

"In the sake of self-preservation, I'm not going to give you a gun today."

She shrugged; she actually shrugged at him and smiled, she had a beautiful smile, and for the first time he let his gaze sweep over her entire form, she needed to get out of that armor.

"Well someday, I might just have to show you how good of a shot I really am."

He should have been alarmed by her tone, or the look in her eyes, but for some reason he didn't seem to care. He was here to be her friend, make her change her mind about humans, if that's what the Admiral wanted, then that's what he would do. Besides, she was nice to look at, it's not like it would put him out much.

"First off, I'll get you some clothes; you can't sit around in your armor."

Jane nodded and smiled again, but her mind was racing, she needed to play him, she needed him to trust her, he had called her pretty, and she wondered if she could use that against him.

She would do anything to complete her mission and get the hell out of here and back to her home, to Garrus. She repeated it in her mind and swore she would do anything she had to.


	10. Run And Don't Look Back

It was cold, and with her armor off and these stupid clothes she had been given she was downright freezing. Kaidan had left the room to get them food, locking the door behind him. Once he was gone she had jumped up and began pacing. She needed to think and couldn't do that with him sitting there staring at her. She couldn't figure out why they hadn't moved her to a holding facility. This was not like anything she had ever been told, and she definitely hadn't been trained for this. She should have been interrogated. Hell she was a prisoner of war, wasn't she?

Kaidan was annoyed, but no matter how annoyed he was, he would do as he was asked. They wanted him to stay with the Admirals daughter, he would. She had barely spoken to him since they had moved rooms and she realized he would be bunking with her. She had asked a few questions at first, questions he couldn't answer. As he stood in the chow line, waiting, lost in thought he heard someone call out that the Admiral was in the room and he pulled up to attention. He saluted as the Admiral stopped in front of him.

"At ease Alenko, I need to talk to you. This isn't a military talk so relax."

Kaidan nodded but kept his shoulders back, resisting the urge to drop into parade rest.

The Admiral led him to the side of the room and set him down at a table. "How's Jane?"

"Well Sir, she seems confused, she doesn't understand why she hasn't been taken to a prison, and she doesn't understand why I'm watching her. Hell sir, I don't even understand that last one. But really right now she's gone silent."

The Admiral nodded, but didn't answer right away, when he did it wasn't to answer his questions.

"Her mother was a great General. We were married long before either of us had become much, both just enlisted kids. I loved her deeply, but we had our differences as people do, the last time I spoke to her, I tried to convince her to let me have Jane, that if she was moving to the front, it was better to leave her with me than to keep leaving her at base. She refused, saying I wanted her for my own ends, that her daughter would not be used by the Alliance. She was speaking of course of the fact that Jane is a biotic, and I had wanted her placed in our Military biotic training school."

The room seemed to go very quiet, as Kaidan tried to take in that information. "She's a biotic? But she didn't use it on the field, the Turian's have their own division for Biotics, she identifies as Sniper Squad. Which I can tell you first hand, is quite accurate. Though, she wouldn't have implants either. Are you sure sir?"

"I am, you know John, they are twins, and she was documented as displaying biotic tendencies as a child."

"But sir, without proper training, she wouldn't be able to control it."

The Admiral shook his head as he stared over his shoulder. "The Turian that raised her, General Vandrel, he's married to an Asari. I'm guessing she taught her to control it." He paused still lost in thoughts and memories, "It's funny Alenko, if Jane had never been taken away from me, you and she would have been in school together. A few years behind you of course, like John. But you would have gotten to know her then. Who knows what would have happened." Standing Hackett laid a hand on his shoulder and made to leave.

"Sir, I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing. Why am I here?"

"You're to keep her here, keep her occupied, maybe change her mind about wanting to run back to the Turians."

"I'm not sure that's possible sir, she loves her father, she has a life there, a boy," the word died on his lips as the Admiral's eyes grew hard, cold as they stared down at him.

"I don't care what she thinks she has back there. My daughter was taken from me; she doesn't know what's good for her, she'll get used to this in time. Now, Alenko I have a battle to plan out, the Turians are trying to take us out with overwhelming force on our front, they may push back this direction. You will keep her happy, occupied. Tell her about Earth, what you'll do once you're there. Things like that."

"Aye Sir," Kaidan's eyes were downcast and his voice lacked conviction, the Admiral heard it and turned a sympathetic smile on him.

"Don't you see Alenko, I'm giving you permission to date my daughter, in fact that's an order. If she comes around to you, perhaps she'll take the other news of her brother and I better. I'll be in touch Lieutenant."

"What?" But the Admiral was already gone, leaving a shocked and blinking Kaidan in his wake. What the hell had he just said? Date her, yeah right, because that was going to be easy, you know, with her wanting to shoot him and all.

"Great, just great, getting set up with the Admirals daughter, just why I joined the Military," he almost groaned as he picked up their trays and turned back towards their room. His omni-tool unlocked the door, and he stepped through in time to watch Jane finish doing push-ups off the side of one of the bunks. Setting the trays down on the round table in the middle of the bunks he turned to watch her, arms folded over his chest, a bemused smile on his face.

Jane stood and tried to fix the shirt he had given her, by what she had said, it was much tighter than she was used to. What he hadn't told her was that it did amazing things to her figure.

"What's the look for?" She clasped her hands behind her back and stood perfectly still.

"Just amused, aren't you tired of drills? I mean you're captured and here you are, still exercising."

"I enjoy it, it helps me think. Well not as much as a shooting range does. But since I don't see you giving me a rifle any time soon, this will have to do."

"Right, guns again." Changing the topic he turned and took a seat at the table, "You haven't had anything to eat since you got here." He gestured to a chair and she took it without a word. He slid the tray to her and watched as she picked up the fork he gave her and she stared at the plate. She touched it with the fork staring at it as if it was going to jump off the plate and eat her.

"What is it?"

"One of my favorites, meat loaf, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob, thank God the Admiral is here, or we wouldn't be eating this well. It's been quite awhile since I've had corn on the cob. It might be genetically engineered food and not what we used to grow back home. But I'll take it, dig in Shepard."

The clatter of the fork against the plate echoed off the walls around them as she stared at him, he couldn't read the expression on her face, but he knew it wasn't a good thing.

"Don't call me that, ever."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'll stick with Jane, if that's alright."

She nodded and picked up the fork, took a deep breath and stabbed the meat loaf, stuffing the over large bite in her mouth. Her face screwed up as she chewed slowly.

"Good?"

"I'm not sure yet, it's not awful, but it's just not what I'm used to."

Kaidan shook his head as he watched her take a few bites of potato, and showed her how to pick up the corn and bite it off the cob.

"Seriously, what did you eat with the Turians?"

"The same thing they do."

"What? I thought that would kill us, how do you manage?"

She shrugged as she took another bite of corn, the butter dripping down her chin.

"I still can't believe you were raised with them, that they let you in the military. Come clean with me Jane, what are they like? They seem so cold, the ones I've met."

Jane swallowed and set everything down, pushing the plate to the side. Her head leaned slightly to the left as she watched him.

"Have you ever met any that weren't either prisoners, or dying?"

"Well no." His voice was quiet as he realized she was studying him.

"We are honorable; we believe in society and platoon first, the few for the many. We fight to the last. We do not retreat; these are not things that are 'cold' as you put it. It sounds like to me, that you don't understand Turian's at all. So I wouldn't be so judgemental of my people." Jane couldn't keep the pain out of her voice, for as she said those words her thoughts were immediately on Nihlus, who had not retreated.

"That's the thing Jane, they aren't your people. We are."

"No," the word was said with more force than she had intended and she realised her hands were fisted.

"You are my species. There is a difference."

Holding up his hands, Kaidan relented. "Alright, I'll let it go, you're right I've never met a Turian outside of the war, I suppose, not until now." He let that sit and she seemed to relax, even if only slightly. "Okay Jane, you may not have enjoyed the meat loaf, but I know you'll love the chocolate cake, every girl I've ever taken out to dinner, always loves the chocolate cake."

"Taken a lot of girls out for dinner, have you Lieutenant?" The question was asked with a smirk, so he smiled and shoved the piece of cake towards her.

"Sure, a few, none quite like you before. Though technically you're kind of a captive audience and I didn't really take you out."

Jane wanted to groan, could she flirt with him? Did humans even flirt the same way? Grabbing the fork she took a bite of the cake and just about melted.

"That's fantastic; it's really sweet, like Turian ice wine. You're right, I like it, guess I'm just like all those other girls." Spirits she felt awkward.

"Now that is where you're wrong Jane, you aren't like anyone I've ever met before. Why do you turn your head like that when I talk? It reminds me of a bird my aunt had, back on earth."

Jane shrugged, but was all of a sudden aware of the movements of her head. "I guess it's just how we listen when interested, or are curious. I never thought about it."

She blushed, she was turning a light pink all the way from her neck to her hair-line, and she was cute when she was embarrassed. The fact that she always acted very confident made him doubt that it happened very often.

The thought of having gone through school with her jumped into his mind but he shook his head. That didn't happen, and the simple fact of it was, he was supposed to try to get her to want to be with him and it made him feel sick, because he could see how easy it would be, to fall in love with Jane Vandrel.

ooOoo

It was late when Kaidan was woken by voices in his room, no, one voice, and he couldn't understand it. He glanced around and realized where he was and what had awoken him, Jane was talking. Rolling over he grabbed his translator and shoved it in his ear. Jane's voice was pleading, and sitting up he stared over at her bunk.

"What was that Jane?"

"Mmhm, please Nihlus, don't go, you'll die, I'm sorry. I should have told you."

He realized she was still asleep and stood walking towards her bed.

"Told me what?"

"About Garrus, sorry, I'm. You're dead, I should have told you how I felt. It was wrong, and now you're gone, Nihlus."

Standing over her, Kaidan could tell she was crying and without thinking he leaned forward and ran his hand gently over her hair. It seemed to calm her, and he even saw a small smile at the corner of her mouth as she nuzzled towards his hand. She shivered as she had shoved her blankets off in the night, and he pulled the blanked back over her, fighting the urge to tuck her in.

"Garrus," pulling back his hand he frowned, her whole life was back with, whoever she was talking to. Settling himself back on his bunk he leaned forward, laying his head in his hands. In his lifetime he had never known a time when they weren't at war with the Turians. But in that moment for the first time, he wondered why.

ooOoo

Jane couldn't stand being cooped up in a room. She needed to be able to run, fight, hell she needed a gun, and she hadn't gone this long without going out to a shooting range since she was seven. She was feeling trapped and by the time Kaidan opened his eyes she was circling the room at a slow jog.

Kaidan mused that she looked like a trapped animal in a cage, and the thought caused him to grimace. That's what she was, wasn't it?

"What are you doing?"

She didn't answer him and he stretched and sat on the edge of the bed watching her.

"Are you hungry? I would kill for some coffee, want some?"

She shrugged.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for whatever you call breakfast, and I have no idea what coffee is."

"You've never had coffee? Well, that I have to fix."

Before she could answer he was up and in the washroom. Jane stopped and waited for him to get out. She stared at him as he changed his shirt and when he turned to her she was frowning.

"Do you think we could go outside? I'm dying in here."

"No, I don't think so Jane, I'll ask though. But I'm pretty sure the answer will be no. I bet I could find us a movie to watch or something, maybe I'll teach you to play poker. We'll figure something out."

She nodded but didn't look pleased as he left the room and locked it behind him.

As he came back in the room, he could see Jane sniff the air. "That smells good at least."

"Just wait till you try it, I made you a double double, two creams, two sugars. When you get to Earth you'll find that everyone lives on the stuff. Most of us can't even get going in the morning without it."

She blinked at him, her eyebrows drawn together as he handed her the cup.

"What did you just say? Why would I be going to Earth? Am I to be tried for treason? I didn't defect from the Alliance, I was raised by the Turians, adopted. They wouldn't take me to Earth. I'm a prisoner of war and must be treated as such. What is going on Lieutenant? Why haven't I been taken to a holding facility?"

She watched his face go very still and her heart thudded in her chest to the point she thought it was going to burst, if they took her to Earth, she'd never be able to get back. Panic seized her chest; it was becoming hard to breath. She tried to still her pulse and her breathing, but the only thing she could think was that she'd never see her family or Garrus again, and she would not let that happen.

"Oh well, you know if you ever make it to Earth." She sounded angry and he had wanted to ease her into it.

"I asked you a direct question Lieutenant. Are you just going to stand there and lie to me?"

He was silent and Jane almost groaned, not answering questions honestly seemed to be a human trait. Or at least this one.

Taking a deep breath Jane took a sip out of the cup she was holding, praying that she wouldn't scream, or worse cry.

"How's the coffee?"

"It's fine, sweet like the cake you gave me."

"Yeah, that's the sugar. I figured you'd like that."

She nodded at him, but her eyes were like green fire, and he found he was relieved that she didn't know how to use her biotics to their full advantage.

They sat in silence until the coffee was gone, and the food he had brought was cold.

"So, you talk in your sleep Jane. You could have told me, it made for quite the wake up in the middle of the night."

There was that quirk of the head again, she seemed confused.

"I didn't know I talk in my sleep."

"Yeah, you do." He wanted to ask about the names, and wondered if she'd even answer him. She had answered everything else, he wondered if that was a Turian trait.

"Who's Nihlus?" He watched as she flinched, pain, and something else, guilt, maybe flashed through her eyes, before the nothing mask took its place and she took a deep breath.

"I grew up with him, in my colony, he was a neighbor. More than that, he was the first friend, Spirits, the only friend I had for many years. I was in love with him for a long time."

He blinked, he hadn't expected her to just, blurt it all out like that. Most girls he had known had to have info like that drawn out of them like poison. So he pushed his luck. "And Garrus," he held his breath waiting but the mask was still firmly in place, she merely took a deep breath and continued.

"Garrus is my platoon leader, a sniper like me. He and I became close."

"What happened to them?"

"Garrus was with me when I was taken; he gave me the order to move forward. I am guessing he made it out and is now, back at the Academy continuing his officer training." She said it with no emotion, even though inside her heart was breaking.

"You said Nihlus was dead, that," she nodded, and he broke the question off.

"He died on his platoon's first combat action; he broke the front line, held the line while his platoon secured their position, pushed through by himself, took out a full frontal attack by what I was told. It cost him his life, but he did his job. Platoon first." She looked up at him then, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "He was killed by a biotic, one in your squad."

He remembered that lone Turian, he remembered losing the front line. They had lost that battle. Kaidan tried to keep still, he couldn't move or he was sure he'd give himself away, because it hadn't been one of his squad that had killed Nihlus, it had been him. He hadn't died right away and he had died calling for Janey. Oh God, it had been Jane he was calling for. The guilt ripped through him. He had killed many Turians, too many. They had killed his men too. But he had never had to look at someone who had been affected by it, and it killed him to see the look in her eyes. He swallowed and turned his face from her.

"I really don't feel like talking anymore."

The silence felt heavy, like a lead weight had settled on them. Or maybe just him, did she know it was him? Is that why she was sent to kill him? Or were they just gunning for his squad? They had done quite a bit of damage. He couldn't bring himself to look at her so he pulled out his data pad and sat at the table, trying to make it look like he was busy. She paid no attention to him though, just sat there, her eyes distant, staring off at the far wall. And when she spoke he just about jumped out of the chair.

"Kaidan, I answered your questions, honestly. Would you do that for me?" She was next to him, her hand on his, before he knew what was happening. Her thumb brushed over his knuckles and he realized that she was staring at his hand. Picking it up in her she ran her fingertip over his nails. Then pressed her palm to his, "It's weird, I see my own hands all the time, but to see yours against mine, it seems so, different." Her voice was distant and he held back a gasp at the feeling of her hand on his.

She lifted her eyes to his and he lost himself in their green depths.

"Kaidan, why are they taking me to Earth?"

"Because, you're one of us, you belong there, with us; the Admiral thinks it would be best."

"Why does the Admiral care what happens to me?"

Everything told him to keep his mouth shut, but as her green eyes stared into his he could barely think.

Jane had sworn she would do anything to get out of here, and as she repeated that to herself, she let him lean forward and press his lips to hers. Her first instinct was to pull away, his lips were much too soft, not what she was used to, and it was strange letting him this close to her. He parted his lips and she could feel his tongue against her lips, asking and she opened her mouth slightly, and he responded by pulling her against him and letting his tongue explore her mouth. She promised herself she wouldn't move, wouldn't pull back. But he did it for her; he pushed her back and pushed his chair away from her.

The air was still around them, she could hear his breath, heavy, rushed. Letting him regain his composure she moved to the chair on the other side of the table and sat.

"Why does the Admiral care Kaidan?"

He ran a hand over his face and fidgeted in his chair, he needed her trust, and he had to give her something.

"Your mother was a General in the Alliance, Shepard, that's where you remember that name from. The Admiral was her husband, you're his daughter. That's why he cares Jane. You were reported dead at about the age of six. Assumed killed with your mother. It's all right here," he opened the datapad and went to hand it to her, but she shook her head.

"I can't read that Kaidan." She was struggling to control her tone, her breathing; she was swearing to herself that she wouldn't scream.

He nodded and skimmed it, "Your father is Admiral Hackett, the man you met when we first arrived here. You have a brother, John Hackett, he's your twin, same age, and a very promising biotic, I was in school with him, and he'll join the Alliance next year. You could be trained as he and I have been, with the right implants you could actually use your biotics."

Jane flinched; they knew she was a biotic too. Shit. Jane's head was swimming, she felt like she was going to be sick. She wasn't a prisoner of war at all, she was being taken, with no intention of being returned, she was being taken by a family that she didn't know, nor did she care to know. She couldn't breathe; it felt like a Krogan had been sat right on her chest. She wanted to scream, she wanted to throw things. Instead she kept her face passive, trying to unclench her jaw.

"So there is no intention of using me as a prisoner in a trade. I am not considered a prisoner at all, am I?"

"No, once we're gone, you'll be coming back to Earth, with me. We'll get you settled and accustomed to everything." He wasn't thinking clearly, the kiss had set his world spinning and it wasn't stopping, the thought that the Admirals plan could actually work set thoughts reeling through his mind. They could date, she would learn their culture. Next year with the Admirals help she could join the Alliance, with her brother; she would have information on the Turians that could help them win this war. Their age difference wasn't that much; they would have time after their tours in the Alliance, she would love Vancouver. He could give her everything.

Just as his thoughts were spiraling out of control, the room went dark, he heard the door click open behind him and Jane stood, instantly at the ready and that brought him back to his senses.

He was up and out of his chair, moving towards the door, he could hear shouts out in the hall.

"Crap, the Turian line must have pushed through our front. Jane I need you to stay here."

And without thinking he shoved the door open and was gone.

Jane didn't wait; she had no intention of staying there. She glanced towards her armour, discarded in the corner. No time, she had to move now, before Kaidan, or someone realized what he had done.

She was out into the hall in the next breath; she had only walked through the building once, when she had been brought here. There were Alliance soldiers running towards the door, and she followed them out into the light. She could hear the firefight, it was close. If she could just make it around the front, find a Turian that wouldn't shoot her on sight she might just have a chance.

Running towards the outer wall of the compound, she crouched and waited, there was a dead Alliance soldier across the way from her. She dodged to him and relived him of his rifle. Turning back towards the line she ran to the side, there was a tree line not too far from the outer wall.

She knew she had to do this now, before the airstrike that she knew was coming started. When taking a position like this, they would come in full force.

She jumped the barricade and made a break for the left flank; they had moved towards the main fighting, she knew there would be more Turians farther back, holding positions waiting to move forward after the airstrike started.

Jane crouched behind the barricade on the opposite side, waiting for her chance to move when she caught sight of Kaidan, biotics flaring as he tried to hold the line.

Without a second thought she lifted the rifle and sighted in on him, she watched as his shield shimmered and faded. Just as she was about to squeeze the trigger, take the shot and end her mission, her breath caught as his eyes found hers and she pulled to the left, the shot landed right next to his head, causing him to duck and flinch from the shards of the wall hitting him.

Kaidan's eyes were still locked on hers. He knew she didn't have to miss that shot, and his heart clenched as he watched her turn and run farther into the woods, and away from him. She had tried to kill him twice, yet he wanted nothing more than to pull her to him and finish that kiss they had started. He shook his head as she disappeared from his sight and cussed himself. "You're in so much shit Alenko."

ooOoo

Jane ran, she ran until she saw the red dot on her chest and hit her knees, planting her hands behind her head and shouted.

"Don't shoot, I'm Initiate Jane Vandrel Sniper Division." She heard the click of weapons being trained on her as they moved towards her.

"Sir, she's speaking Turian. Did she say Vandrel, no shit; this is the Generals human brat. Everyone assumed you were dead."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"They were keeping you here? Are there other prisoners in that base? I'm about to call in an airstrike Vandrel."

"None that I knew of Sir," Jane watched as he eyed her, it seemed as if he was trying to decide if she was telling the truth, she saw it in his eyes, in the twitch of his mandible. He was wondering if she was with them.

He decided and motioned for her to be taken back. "Take her to one of the shuttles taking wounded. Get her out of here. The rest of you, move forward, take the base."

Jane could hear the airstrike move in above them as she was taken to a shuttle and shoved inside. She shook her head as she wondered if Kaidan would be okay. What the hell did she care?

As the shuttle took off she saw the first flash of the airstrike below her, and as quickly as it had started. It was over.

ooOoo

"Pull back, get to the shuttles now!" Admiral Hackett grabbed Kaidan as they ran towards the shuttle. "Where is Jane, Alenko?" Kaidan spun towards the Admiral as they jumped into one of the shuttles.

"She's gone Sir, she bolted for the Turian line when the fighting started."

Kaidan's teeth rattled as the Admiral slammed him against the wall of the shuttle.

"You lost my daughter? You let her run back to the Turians?" Kaidan stood firm at attention as the Admiral seethed in front of him.

"Listen here Alenko, you're going to get your team together, and you're going to get my daughter back, do you hear me? I don't care how long it takes, or what it costs us, you will get her back. Do you hear me Lieutenant?"

ooOoo

As the Academy came in sight a breath that Jane felt like she had held inside since this started, was released. Closing her eyes she thanked whoever was listening that she was back here. She had come much too close to never getting back.

Garrus paced the landing pad, he had got word that Jane had been found on the front on Primaria. His heart was racing as she jumped off the shuttle and practically right into his arms. As he held her, he could feel her shaking.

"What are you wearing Jane? You look frozen."

"I haven't been warm since I left." She burrowed into him, trying to absorb his heat.

"Not that, that shirt doesn't umm, accent some of your better qualities."

Jane laughed and he felt the shaking ease. "I can't wait to be out of it."

Garrus nuzzled his head against her and he felt her control a sob, trying to put her at ease he whispered close to her ear.

"I can't wait to have you out of it too."

It was dark, most of everyone was asleep, Sadria had woken him to tell him what her father had messaged her, that Jane had been found. So he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to their spot, well that's how he thought of it now, late nights on the range. He didn't care who wanted to talk to her, she was his tonight and no one was taking that from him.

They sat on the far side of the shooting range, Garrus leaning in the same spot he had found Jane that night staring at the stars. She wasn't staring at the stars then, just him. She hadn't removed her arms from around his neck and he pulled her closer to him in his lap, nipping gently down her neck. Breathing in her scent, it was off, she smelled like. Hell that must be human smell. He nuzzled her and she drifted her hands over his face.

"Spirits Garrus, I thought I might not ever see you again."

"I would never let that happen, Jane; your father would never let that happen. What happened out there Jane?"

She quickly shook her head, her eyes squeezing shut.

"Not tonight Garrus, please, just us tonight."

He nodded and continued to nibbled her neck, allowing himself to bite her harder, not hard enough to mark, but a telling of what he truly wanted to do. His hands roamed over her, feeling the solid realness of her. He trailed his talons over the firm plane of her stomach that he could see under the odd shirt she was wearing. Tracing her collar-bone he let her snuggle into him. His body shifted, he wanted her, but tonight wasn't that night. Tonight he would hold her, let her come back to him. Because he didn't know what it was yet, but there was something different in her eyes. He had never known Jane to be an angry person. She handled things with a calm that can only come from years of good training. But he saw anger in her eyes, an anger that he tried to calm with his touch.

"All I could think, while you were gone Jane, was that I'm a horrible Turian."

Jane's hands stopped moving in the little circles on the back of his neck. "How the hell are you a bad Turian Garrus?"

His mandibles fluttered as his talons traced through her hair.

"Well when all we're supposed to believe in is society first, platoon first but what I want to think is that you're first for me, in all things, makes me a bad Turian."

She smiled and the circles on the back of his neck, stared again, "I love you too, and I would do anything to be with you Garrus. Like run head long into a firefight as a human, right into a Turian line, praying they wouldn't shoot me before I could talk."

"You didn't?"

"I did, and I would do it again."

"I love you Jane Vandrel, don't you ever do that to me again."

And in that moment she promised she wouldn't. Though what do we know about the future.

ooOoo

"General Victus, General Vandrel. The situation with Jane didn't go as any of us planned. It seems she is very capable. Continue her training, we're putting in a request that her biotics be looked into, perhaps honed. Nyreen Kandros is now heading up the Cabal squad. She'll report to her as well as Vakarian for her sniper training. We will not abandon the idea of her being placed into the Alliance, they are aware of her now, we're sure they'll want her back. This could play right into our hands. You trained her well General Vandrel. You're to be congratulated. See to it she keeps it up. That is all. Carry on."

Victus turned to Ganis and nodded at the look of relief on his face.

"He's right, this could work out, they know of her now. I just hope she doesn't hate them. I need her, we need her. We need this Ganis. This war must end, and now more than ever I'm sure it's going to be up to Jane."

"You know damn well thats not why they want her back with them. I think it's time we talked to Jane, honestly. Spirits only know what they told her. If she's going to be used as a pawn, she's going to be an informed one. This is still my daughter we're talking about. I love her more than anything. They wont take her from me, and neither will you." with that Ganis spun and stalked away.


	11. Truth And Biotics

Jane couldn't stop pacing. She had been stuck in the debriefing room for most of the day. She was effectively grounded until her father and Victus arrived for her debriefing, and she was going stir crazy.

Alone in the room with her thoughts was the worst sort of torture. Ranging from anger at what she had learned, to outrage at why she hadn't taken the shot, and ended her mission. She didn't know how she was going to explain that one, and was not looking forward to any of what lay ahead. Would they take this as proof that she wasn't the Turian she thought she was? The feelings of self-doubt, coupled with anger she wasn't used to feeling seeped through her, until her head was pounding and she felt as if she would be sick.

Just as she thought she couldn't take being stuck in the room another second, the door opened and General Victus and her father entered. The relief must have shown on her face, for the second the door closed, Ganis opened his arms to her and without a second thought Jane ran into his embrace.

"Dad, Spirits, I thought you'd never get here. I failed, I," she paused, trying to think of how to explain her failure. "I didn't take the shot. I should have. I didn't get my mark."

"Jane," but before Ganis could finish, Victus interjected.

"Vandrel, we already know how the mission ended up. That's not why we're here to talk to you."

Jane glanced up at his official tone, stepped out of her father's arms and placed her hands behind her back.

"Sir, I'm not sure I understand."

Victus glanced towards Ganis who nodded his leave, so he continued.

"We've had orders from High Command that you're to be trained with the Cabal team. You will report tomorrow. We know your biotics are not what they should be, as you have no implant. But it has been decided that they should be tested and honed to whatever level they can be."

He watched her face fall and held up a hand. "Before you protest, I understand that your sniper squad is important to you. That is why you shall continue it as well."

Jane nodded, though her heart was racing.

"Now as far as your capture is concerned, what did you learn?"

Jane froze the thoughts and feelings of the past week rushing through her.

"Nothing of strategic importance Sir, only, personal significance," her eyes found her fathers and held them.

"They took me to Primaria as you know. One Admiral Hackett was there. I was informed that he is my human father. That I have a twin." She paused watching the shocked reaction of her dad. Ganis's eyes snapped towards Victus, who was staring off at the far wall.

"Adrien, did you know?" Ganis couldn't keep the shock out of his voice.

"Yes, I knew." His eyes locked on Ganis'. "It wasn't important at the time. I had promised Anne, to keep her safe from the Alliance. Hackett is the Alliance."

Jane's teeth clenched together as she listened to the exchange. Victus had known, but her dad hadn't, that was something, at least he hadn't lied to her.

"Jane, sweetheart I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

Forgetting herself she let her arms drop to her sides, "And if you had?"

"I don't know Jane, we don't deal in what ifs, you know that."

Biting her lip she went silent.

"Jane, we need to talk about why you were captured."

"I wasn't fast enough, my shield wasn't strong enough. I should have," Victus silenced her with a raised talon.

"You were sent out there on purpose Jane. You were supposed to be captured. It speaks to your training and determination that you were able to secure your own release."

"What the hell do you mean I was supposed to be captured?"

Ignoring her outburst, Victus continued, his talons clicking behind his back the only give away to his annoyance.

"The Hierarchy is determined to use you against the Alliance. Simply put Vandrel, you're Human, you fit with them. Not only that, as your father is a high-ranking officer, you would have access to knowledge we can't get any other way. That's what they wanted from you. That is why you were captured, and why they want you to go back."

Jane's jaw went slack as her face scrunched up in confusion. "I'm sorry, they want me to what? Dad, did you know they did this?"

Ganis's gaze flickered over Jane's features, he had never seen her, this angry or hurt before, and that was saying something. He nodded and watched unshed tears well in her eyes.

"That's not what's important at this moment, Jane I need you to see past what they did, what they want you to do. I need you to look at what you could do. You could end this war, if you could go to them, show them how alike we are, you could bridge this gap and end this damn war." Victus paused, trying to gauge her reaction.

She couldn't move, couldn't answer, all she could manage was a blink to try and clear her eyes.

"I understand you're shocked and upset, but the point remains. You will finish your training, and by your seventeenth birthday, one year from now, we would like to see you return to the Alliance." Continued Victus.

Inside Jane was screaming, outside the trained calm settled over her. Ganis watched as her eyes glazed over and became cold.

"Thank you General, I will think about what you said. Now if you please Sir, I would like to speak to my father." Ganis flinched at the tone in her voice and nodded towards Victus.

"If you would," Victus nodded and exited the room. As the door closed, Ganis reached out towards Jane, she pushed back from him and dropped to parade rest.

"Little one, don't do this."

"You knew? You knew, and you just let them do this? Why?"

"I let them because it was orders; you know that, you know how it works. If they ask for my child for the war, I gladly offer you. You know that's how it works Jane."

"I know that dad, but to let them give me back over to him, to let them use me against them."

"No, not to them, not to use you against them, Victus is right sweetheart; you may be our only chance. I may not like it, but the best thing you may be able to do for this war. Is end it, and you can't do that from here." Taking a step forward, Ganis traced his talon over her now bare face, and whispered. "I didn't know about him Jane."

She felt her throat tighten. "Would you have sent me back to him?"

"No little one, you're my daughter, my life. This doesn't change that, your mother, sister and I love you."

"Yet you're willing to let me go off to Earth of all places, in a year. Not knowing what they'll do to me."

"Nothing will happen to you, Victus was right about another thing. Hackett is a legend in the Alliance; he wouldn't let anything happen to you."

She nodded and her eyes dropped to the ground. "Dad, I understand that the war needs to end. I know that if it doesn't we'll just destroy each other. But what if I can't do this?"

His mandibles fluttered at that as he pulled her to his chest. "Little one, you're anything, if not determined. I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't think you could do it." His eyes squinted on her face. "What happened to your markings?"

A single tear streamed down her face, and she resisted the urge to sniff. "The biotic, Lieutenant Alenko, made me take them off."

Ganis nodded, "I suppose you will have to get used to their ways."

"I don't want to get used to their ways, I want to stay here. But we get what we get right?"

He followed her gaze out the window and towards the practice field, where her sniper squad was seated watching a demonstration from Vakarian and he knew what she was thinking.

"If he loves you, he'll wait for you, no matter how long that is."

"I can't ask that of him daddy. That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair little one, let him make that choice." Ganis thought back to the young Turian standing before him, proclaiming his love for a Generals daughter, not something just any Turian would do, but that he had done it, had shown Ganis that this Vakarian was just what his daughter needed. "If he loves you half as much as I think he does, I'm sure I know what his choice will be."

Watching the corner of Jane's mouth turn up in a smile, was like watching the sun rise and he felt the ache in his heart ease. She turned and folded herself into his embrace. "A year, I'm not ready for this."

"You will be sweetheart." As she stepped away from him and moved towards the door he saw something in her eye that caused his breath to hitch. It was hate, and anger. Spirits, he prayed she could find a way to work through it, because if she hated them and did as the Hierarchy wanted, this war would consume them all.

ooOoo

Nyreen Kandros stared at the human down below her on the field; her biotic ability was weak at best. She had potential but without anything to strengthen and augment her biotics, left them almost useless.

This was just what she had told the Hierarchy on her last report, and the response she had received would have shocked her if she didn't know what they were like, what they would do, to have what they wanted. Since they didn't have access to implants for humans, they wanted her to try Red Sand, some trials had been shown to stimulate biotic ability, along with her training to help her control her nervous system, her sniper training would make biofeedback therapy simple, she already knew how to slow her heart rate, her breathing, and she knew her body. It might be possible to make a half decent biotic out of her yet.

"Vandrel, front and center, your shield is still weak, report to your sniper squad we'll pick this up tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am."

Nyreen watched her salute and jog off towards her squad. Jane was biddable enough, she followed orders without question. Useful because she was only going to ask her once to take the drug on her own, after that, she had been ordered to take her in. She would have an automatic pump installed that would administer the drug in even doses. She hoped for Jane's sake, that she just took it on her own.

ooOoo

Jane stood before Commander Kandros and nodded numbly. What the hell had she just agreed to? Well not so much as agreed to, as went along with. What choice did she have? Take it on her own, or face the other option of being forcefully dosed. Not the best of options. So there she was, nodding her consent to take a drug that would do, only spirits knew what to her biotics.

"That's good Vandrel, this is the easiest option. I will give you your first dose today, and then you will get each day's dose from me. I will be the control, I will adjust it as I see fit, depending on how your biotics react. Am I understood, Vandrel?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good, now I've been told that you have been granted leave again. I guess getting captured, and then securing your own release has garnered you some favor. So I have enough for you to dose yourself each day once. Now I'll see you after leave, for the real work Vandrel. Enjoy your time."

Jane didn't like the way she had ended that, it sounded final. As she walked away towards the barracks the first wave hit her and she could feel the rush though her, it was as if for the first time she could feel her biotics within her.

Lifting her hands they glowed blue, almost as strong as Kaidan's had when she had leveled her rifle at him. She found that her shield went up easier than it had before, though she was still unable to hold it for as long as she'd like. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. But as she walked through the door to her bunk the nausea hit just as she collapsed on her bunk. Sadria was at her side instantly.

"Jane, what's wrong? Are you ill?"

Moaning as she rolled over to stare up at her friend she smiled, the rush was far out weighing the nausea at this point.

"No, hell I'm good, great even. Feel better than I have in a week."

Jane watched as Sadria squinted at her and quirked her head to the side and she couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"We really do tilt our heads to the side, huh, I never noticed it really. Funny how when stuff gets pointed out to you, you know," Shaking her head she grinned again.

"Jane, seriously, you sound weird. Garrus wanted us all to go out this weekend, something quiet, maybe rent a room, get away from everyone. But maybe you need to make a trip to the clinic."

"Fuck that, I want the hell out of here." She sat up and shook her head, the rush was easing and things we're becoming less sharp and she nodded. "Yup, I'm going to be fine."

Before Sadria could argue the door opened and Garrus stepped into the room. His face instantly concerned as he scanned Jane, her targeting piece was on, her markings were back, but something was off.

"What's wrong?"

"She's acting weird, I thought she might be sick, but now I think she's just snapped. Maybe the whole thing is sinking in." She lowered her voice turning completely towards Garrus. "My dad told me she might have some issues, he said she and her dad argued. Can you imagine? Jane and her dad having a fight, it's hard to imagine."

"Yeah, that is hard to imagine, but she has been through a lot." In fact, thought Garrus, she hadn't even told him what she had been through. They had barely had time to talk since that first night when she had been given back to him.

"You know you two, I'm right here, and I'm not deaf."

"I'm sorry love." Garrus sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her against him. "We just worry about you. Are you ready to go out? I was thinking something low-key, supper out, few drinks, I've got a place rented, Sadria has eyes on Marrus you remember him. He was in Nihlus's platoon." He froze as he said it, he hadn't meant to. Nihlus was a part of both of them, but it was a part of them that was in the past. He wanted Jane to remember that this was their future.

To his great relief she just nodded, "Yeah I remember him, that's great Sadi."

"Sadi, since when did you give me a nickname?"

"I dunno, it just kind of slipped out, I think we'll keep it."

"Sure, fair enough, as long as I get to call you Janey."

That made Jane flinch under his arm and he tightened his hold on her.

"No, anything but Janey, that's off-limits."

Garrus felt her tension and leaned down towards her ear. "Okay, little one."

She smiled at that and stood, but as her eyes searched his, the voice in the back of her mind whispered. One year, is that fair to him? But she didn't care, this year at least would be hers, and like her dad said. She would give him the choice. She just had to figure out how to tell him, she was going to be breaking her promise.

ooOoo

The evening was quiet as they sat at supper and enjoyed their drinks, the conversation slowly drifted towards Jane's capture. Marrus was staring at her and she knew he wanted to ask her about it.

"Go ahead Marrus, ask whatever it is you want to know before your head explodes."

He chuckled but his eyes were serious. "How the hell did you get out of there, on your own?"

The combination of alcohol and fading effects of red sand had left Jane almost giddy and she smirked.

"Well I guess I'm pretty damn attractive to humans. I know, I know you can pick your mandible up off the ground Marrus."

Garrus laughed and took her hand, nuzzling his mandible against the back of it. "You're pretty damn attractive to a certain Turian as well."

"Well that may be, but this one told me I was pretty, that I shouldn't waste that on not being able to have a family, husband and children."

"Husband, must be a human word. What does it mean?" Garrus was still nuzzling her hand as she answered.

"Husband is like a human mate. I think he was thinking of that the whole time I was with him. So I let him think it." She was into the story now and pulled her hand from Garrus to point at her mouth. "Just before the Turian front broke through he kissed me. His lips on mine, it was kind of slimy but he seemed to like it. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to trust me, when we cut the power to the base as a good Turian attack does, he left me in the room unattended like I was going to stay put, for him. So I ran, found the first rifle I could and headed for the back turian ranks."

"You're shitting me?" Marrus was laughing, "You ran, armed as a human right into a turian attack?"

"Yeah thinking back it probably wasn't the best plan, but it was all I had at the time."

Garrus hadn't heard the last question, he was still stuck on the fact that this human wanted to mate with Jane, and he had touched his mouth to hers? Was that how they shared scent? Is that what he had smelled on her the night she had returned? Had she liked it? Questions were racing through his mind faster than he could answer them and he realized what he was feeling was jealousy. That was new, he had never been jealous over a female. But then again, none of them had been Jane.

"What was the guard's name? The one you shamelessly let fall for you Jane?" Sadria's tone was light, joking but it still grated on Garrus to no end.

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. He's from Earth of course."

Marrus downed his last drink and quirked his head to the side. "Damn, it feels like I should know that name. Maybe if I hadn't had those last five drinks."

Sadria laughed and grabbed his hand. "How about we all head upstairs, before we pass out at the table?"

Jane and Sadria laughed together as they stumbled down the hall, once in the suite Sadria and Marrus disappeared into one of the rooms, leaving Garrus and Jane, standing alone in their room.

Garrus watched Jane watch him, her head was quirked to the side and there was a question in her eyes.

"What's wrong Garrus? You've been very quiet tonight, and you barely had anything to drink."

He didn't know how to ask the question without seeming like a jealous ass, so he decided to just let jealous ass happen.

"Did you like him?"

"Did I like who?"

"That Lieutenant who was your guard," it was said with a bit more spite than he had intended and Jane's face fell as she took a step towards him.

"No, what are you kidding Garrus? I had to use him to get out of there."

"I, shit Jane, I was just thinking, you know, you two, the whole lip thing."

She was against him in the next breath, her arms wrapping around his neck, her nimble fingers searching under his fringe, finding the spot and was rewarded with a growl.

"I don't think you were listening when I said it was slimy, and a little weird, this is much better." Pulling his head to hers she nuzzled him and led his mouth to her neck, she tilted to the side and let him nip and lick his way to her collar bone, he bit along it until she was panting. Pushing her back and staring down into her eyes she answered his question without him asking it.

"Yes, I want you. I love you."

She pulled her shirt over her head exposing her breasts, taking his hand in hers she lead it up to one and he squeezed gently exploring her softness.

"I'm afraid of hurting you."

She silenced him with a finger over his mouth and shook her head.

"You can't hurt me, just love me, we'll be fine."

Leading her back to the bed he began to explore every inch of her body, his talons drifting and scratching over her body until she quivered beneath him.

"You're going to have to remove those," he motioned towards her pants and panties as he tore off his own clothes. "Or I won't be held responsible for you not having anything to wear tomorrow."

Their clothes fully discarded, Garrus drew his talons up her legs and along her inner thighs. "You know, I've heard about something."

His head dipped between her legs, and when his tongue touched her Jane had to bite down on the back of her hand to keep from screaming out.

"Spirits where the hell did you hear about that?"

"Oh, places, it's better you don't ask."

He returned his tongue to her and she trembled and arched beneath him, as she raced towards the white abyss before her. As she shattered he pulled himself up over her and placed himself at her entrance. "You're so wet, and small Jane, if you don't think we should you have to tell me now."

Shaking her head Jane hooked her legs over the spurs on the back of his legs, he slipped easily into her at first, before he felt a block, frowning she pushed forward, the pain was brief and as she stilled under him she felt his restraint. Placing a hand on each side of his face she pulled his head down to hers and he began to move within her. His pace quickened as he pulled her forward against his chest. She felt his breathing become shallow and as she reached her climax again he exploded within her, his growls drowning out her cries as he pulled her down on top of him in an exhausted heap.

Rolling to her side and curling up next to him she sighed, and he lean up on his elbow watching her.

"Spirits, you're bleeding Jane, I'm sorry. I didn't know I hurt you."

"It doesn't hurt, don't worry, I loved every moment of it."

"I love you Jane, I love every part of you, and I look forward to being the only one to ever know you." He leaned forward and bit down on the bone in her neck he loved the feel of against his teeth.

"Someday Jane, that bite is going to be permanent, and everyone will know who loves you."

"I think they already know." She smiled in spite of the guilt that tore through her at the mention of them mating.

"Yes, but I want to be your mate, I want you to have my mark, just as I want to have yours." He smiled down into her eyes, and she fought back the tears she felt.

"I know."

One year, the voice in her mind told her she should tell him, but her heart resisted, wanting to just hold on to this night, before she had to watch him make a choice, a choice that could very well crush her and everything she wanted.

ooOoo

Garrus watched as Jane came out of the bathroom the next morning, her hair was in disarray and she sniffed once as she looked around for her shirt. She was beautiful, every inch of her. He had never thought he could find a human so attractive, yet it wasn't the human parts that attracted him fully, not really. It was everything about her, the way she moved, the way her bright green eyes locked on him, and it was the way she smelled. It was safe to say that Garrus Vakarian was in love with everything that was Jane Vandrel.

"Sadria and Marrus are down at breakfast, we had better head down and meet up with them before I lose my control and keep us here the rest of the day."

He watched the flutter at the corner of her mouth and reached for her, pulling her roughly against his chest.

"Would that really be so bad Vakarian?"

"No, it wouldn't, but I promised them we'd be right down."

With a groan he released her and they made their departure.

As Jane sat at the table, Marrus locked eyes with her.

"So, I'm not sure you want to hear this, but I remembered where I know that name from."

Lost in her thoughts and the pleasant memories of the night, Jane quirked her head to the side confused.

"What name?"

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. He's the leader of that group of biotics."

"Yeah, I knew that."

"He's the one that killed Nihlus."

Jane's world blurred for a moment as that sunk in, and Garrus watched as her eyes went hard and cold.

"What?"

"Black armour, I remember that name, they shouted it, it was the one on the report, it's why he was your main target."

Jane wasn't listening anymore her mind was reeling. She had spoken to him of Nihlus, had he realized?

Garrus laid his hand on hers, giving it a soft reassuring squeeze, but she barely felt it. Her mind was already racing ahead.

One year.

One year to figure out how to end a war almost eleven years in the making; and now more importantly how to do that, and kill Kaidan Alenko.


	12. Losing Control

**Thank you all so much for your reviews, favorites and follows. I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed this. Someone (you know who you are) hit the nail right on the head. I love history, especially WWII. A friend and I were talking about what it would have felt like, to be a Japanese Canadian, or German Canadian during that time if you had joined the Military, this kind of took over from there. Nice call on that one. I hope you continue to enjoy this, as much as I enjoy writing it. ^.^**

**So I took some liberty (yes even more than I already have :P) and changed some people's ages. You'll see. **

ooOoo

"Push it Vandrel, good now hold it, I said hold it!"

Jane groaned under the stress of lifting the crate with her biotics. It felt like her body was going to melt. The things she was being asked to do went far beyond just trying to control her biotics. She was now being asked to use them in ways she hadn't tried in years. Her head was killing her, and she dropped the crate before Nyreen called for it.

"Still weak Vandrel, I'm upping your dose, you need to be able to hold it, how do you ever think you're going to be able to manage a full biotic blast, or hold a shield long enough to not be knocked on your ass like last time?"

Jane nodded, but she really wanted to do was throw up. Among other things, the daily doses of Red Sand had caused headaches, nausea, highs, and extreme lows. She wasn't sure what a higher dose was going to do, but she wasn't looking forward to finding out.

"Jane," Nyreen saw the look on the young humans face and with a light sigh stepped towards her.

Jane was shocked to hear her biotics trainer use her first name; in the weeks they had worked together the woman had barely spoken to her, well unless you count shouting orders and drugging her. If you did count it, well then hell, they were best damn friends.

"Yes Ma'am?"

Nyreen lifted her hand to rest it on Jane's shoulder, but stopped short at the look in her eyes.

"You think I hate you, you're angry. That hate in your eyes, that fire, you should use that." She let her hand fall back to her side. "Your file says you have a very passive manner. They say you'll take any order, which is odd, considering who raised you."

"With all due respect Ma'am I'm not sure you know anything about me, or my father. I'm not just some file you can figure out. Besides," Jane's eyes turned towards the sky. "Until recently, I didn't have anything to hate."

"That's almost laughable Vandrel, you of all people have more to hate than anyone I know. I've read how you were treated, I've read about Nihlus. Are you afraid that will happen to Vakarian? I wouldn't blame you," She paused, and then smirked at the look that received. "No, you're worried he's going to choose a Turian over you. No don't say anything; I understand what that's like. As far as not knowing you, sure, I only know what I've read, and what I've observed since we started working together. Like you said, you were trained well, you don't question, and you just do." One step closer to Jane and she bent, so her face was even with hers.

"Maybe you should start questioning. Your father always did, he and I, well we were close when we went through the Academy together. But he questioned everything, well more like didn't accept the rules, my parents didn't approve of him. And look at him now, Human daughter, Asari Mate and a damned General to boot. So think about it, maybe you need to get angry once in awhile, maybe you should stop letting life happen to you."

Nyreen watched her eyes closely, the anger if not managed would boil over at some point, and the simple fact was, that even if she couldn't harness her biotics completely, she would be scary if they were combined with that anger.

Jane blinked and then spoke without thinking or asking leave. "You're wrong by the way, of course I've been angry, don't think that I liked the way I've been treated in the past, but I always knew I would have to work harder than any of them. I won't let fear and anger, guide my decisions. Sometimes we just have to trust that the choices we make, and the ones made for us are the right ones, and deal with the consequences."

"Spirits, you sound like Ganis, though he didn't hold his tongue either so maybe there is that part in you as well, also, he wasn't really into listening, which is why he had to deal with consequences. Though he was always honest to a fault, which seems to be another thing he passed on to you." Nyreen looked back over her shoulder at hearing boot steps.

"Ah, here's your platoon leader, or is that boyfriend? Mate someday perhaps?" Her eyes fell to Jane's neck before she frowned. "His parents won't like you, but take my advice, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

Before she could respond Nyreen brushed past her and disappeared around a corner, leaving Jane to stare after her, a million questions rushing through her mind.

Garrus smiled stretched, and let his arm fall over her shoulder. "How's the training with Commander Kandros going?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. One second I think she's trying to kill me with Red Sand, the next she's giving me advice and talking about my father. What do you know of her?"

Garrus felt his Talons dig into her shoulder as he clenched his hand but Jane barely flinched. "Hey, what's with the inflicting of pain?"

"Shit, I'm sorry you just caught me off guard. What the hell do you mean kill you with red sand?"

Jane could have smacked herself on the head, she hadn't really explained that part to anyone, and there she went blurting things out. What the hell was wrong with her?

"The Commander was told to dose me with Red Sand to enhance my biotics, so far it seems to be working. But some of the side effects are killer."

He didn't answer right away and Jane had to fight the urge to fidget.

"Well, say something."

"I'm not sure what you want me to say. I'm taking it that you didn't have a choice?"

"No, it was either take it, or have it given to me, if you take my meaning."

"Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Well, that explains a few of the mood swings we've been noticing." Garrus turned her in his arms and pulled her to his chest. "Forgive your boyfriend for worrying about you. I'm sure they know what they're doing. They wouldn't put you at risk on purpose." He said it to make her feel better, but they both knew it wasn't true.

"As far as what I know about the Commander, it's not much. Just the normal stories, she's from a very well known military family. Unfortunately with her biotics, she got relegated to the Cabal squads; word was she has quite the rebel streak in her. Some say she spends time with merc groups on the side. Just rumours though."

"And my father, did she know him? She sure seemed to."

"There are stories about that too; in fact, rumor had it that they were to be mated, and some stories say they were mated in secret, though that part seems impossible. Either way, your father was sent off to serve with General Victus. Really they're just rumours, more likely they had a fling, her parents found out and had your father reassigned so something couldn't happen."

"Dad never mentioned her, but I guess anything is possible. He did tell me that he'd never loved anyone before me, and my mom and now my little sister."

"Well that's possible, could have just been easing tension. I'm not sure what it matters now though."

Leaning her head against Garrus's chest Jane let his warmth sink into her. "It doesn't I guess, she just talked about him like she regretted what had happened, whatever it was. I don't want to regret things like that."

He felt the subtle tension in her body; he had become so attuned to her feelings that he knew them by sight and touch. Something was bothering her; enough to cause her heartbeat to become erratic. Lifting her chin with a talon he looked down at her face, her markings were blue now; she had changed them to blue after their night together, which had thrilled him to no end. But now as her eyepiece glowed against her pale skin, her eyes were looking anywhere but at him.

"What could you possibly regret?" He asked the question, but his mind was already giving him answers that he didn't like. Did she regret them; was she still in love with Nihlus? Worse, was she regretting coming back to him, damn it, now his heartbeat was erratic.

Jane could hear the instant his heart rate increased, and she shook her head.

"Damn it, is something bothering you?"

"Yes," she answered, but left it at that.

"But, you don't want to talk about it."

"Right," she felt his body shake against hers as he laughed, and the feeling and sound instantly soothed her.

"Honest to a fault love. Well, when you do want to talk about it, I'll be here."

"I know, thanks Garrus that means everything to me."

She wanted to tell him, but she still wasn't ready to see that look on his face, and deal with those questions. It was selfish, but she wanted things just like this, but she knew she would run out of time at some point.

"You know I'll take care of you, don't you? I mean, when you're not kicking ass, in other ways, I'll never let anyone hurt you. So promise me you'll be careful."

She nodded, but couldn't say the words, she was already breaking one promise, and she couldn't bring herself to make another that she knew she wouldn't be able to keep.

ooOoo

Marrus scanned the field until his eyes landed on Jane, damn she was in formation, and he'd have to have Vakarian pull her out in front of everyone. Jogging over towards Garrus he stopped, saluted and filled him in on the situation.

"Vandrel, leave your gear and get to the base, now." He motioned towards Marrus and the two set off at a jog. Garrus dismissed the rest of their squad and fell in behind them.

When they were out of earshot of the rest of the group Jane grabbed Marrus's arm and pulled him to a stop.

"What's going on?"

"Not really a lot of time to explain Jane, but the short version is that we captured a human not far from the Academy, they have interrogated him all morning, the only thing they got out of him apparently was your name. So, here I am. Let's go."

Her breath caught in her chest, was it Kaidan? One glance towards Garrus told her he was wondering the same thing. She quickened her pace and was almost at a full sprint by the time they hit the main building.

"Vandrel, there you are." Commander Andruis glanced towards Marrus and Garrus and motioned for them all to follow. "As I'm sure you've already been told, we captured an Alliance forward scout, he's refused to talk, except to say your name, he didn't put up much resistance when we captured him." They stopped in front of a window, well more a two-way mirror. Xara was present; she seemed to be helping the interrogation team, figures she had avoided her for a month, just to be stuck in a room with her.

Xara sent her a glare that could have frozen a sun on contact; Jane managed a forced smile back and turned towards the mirror where Andruis was gesturing towards the man inside.

"Do you know him?"

A rush of air left her as she saw that the man in the room was not Kaidan, she wasn't sure if that was relief or disappointment she was feeling.

"No Sir, I don't recognise him."

Andruis frowned and turned fully towards the window. "Our interrogation techniques aren't working, they seem to take the same training towards it as we do. I want you to talk to him, find out what they are doing here and if there are more of them."

"What? Sir, I don't know the first thing about," but she was cut off by the glowering stare of Andruis. "You're Human that gives you the advantage over all of us. Now get in there."

"I'll need a translator Sir, I don't have one in."

Andruis nodded, "They are on the table, grab one and get in there."

Glancing behind her, both Marrus and Garrus looked concerned, but didn't move.

She sighed, shit this is insane, what the hell are you supposed to say to him? Nothing, just do as the Commander said and find out why they are here, and if there are more here.

"Great, now I'm answering the voice in my head. I'm losing it." She muttered as she shoved the translator in her ear and moved towards the door. Andruis didn't hear her, but by the look on her face, Xara had. Shit.

As Jane stepped into the room, she took stock of the man in the chair in front of her, he was larger than most of the humans she had met in her short time with them. His arms were crossed over his chest, his eyes closed. A few fresh bruises were starting to bloom on his face. There was a little blood at the corner of his mouth and she frowned at the feeling of guilt. Why should she care if they used aggressive interrogation? This was a war damn it. But the real war was now raging inside of her.

"Name and rank soldier," she tried to speak forcefully but felt her voice waver as his eyes snapped open and landed on her. He didn't answer right away; just let his eyes travel from her face down to her boots, and back to her face.

"I said, name and rank."

"The Lieutenant said you looked like him, I figured he was full of shit, but here you are. Lost that bet, though your curves go on for days, he was right about that too."

Folding her arms over her chest, she didn't let her eyes leave his.

"I look like whom? And I assume by Lieutenant you mean Alenko."

"You shouldn't assume things, makes an ass out of you and me."

The saying was lost on her and she frowned, her face screwing up at him.

"Wow, you really are a bird, damn. And I mean you look like John, your brother."

She dropped her arms to her sides, and took a deep breath.

"Name and rank damn it."

"Lieutenant James Vega, Alliance Marines, you and I have a mutual friend."

Jane snorted sending one of Vega's eyebrows up in a quizzical arch. "If you're referring to Kaidan, I wouldn't really call him my friend."

"No? Well you're all he can talk about, and not just because your father sent us to find you. But because he thinks he's in love with you. Not sure what you did to him in that room, but whatever it was, maybe you should give me a demonstration so I can report back that it wasn't just for him."

Sucking in a breath she leaned forward on the table in front of him, placing both hands firmly on the cool metal.

"What do you mean my father sent you to find me?"

"You know, your real father, the Admiral." He raised his voice and directed his gaze at the window as he shouted before turning his attention back to her.

"We're here to get you, and bring you home. I saw you on the range. You're one hell of a shot, though it was pretty disgusting to see you hanging off that Turian. Does he know about the Lieutenant?"

Jane had to force herself to not glance towards the window. "There is nothing to know about myself and Kaidan, Lieutenant Vega."

"It doesn't matter either way, I'm sure they sent you in here to find out what we want, well simply, we want you. Yes there are more of us, but they won't find them. We've been watching you for a week and they didn't find us. Not until I wanted to be found."

"You're a cocky bastard aren't you?" it wasn't really a question as much as it was a statement.

"I like to think of it as, self aware."

"Yeah, and delusional," Jane watched as he smirked and waggled an eyebrow at her.

"If the birds give us you, we won't start picking off students."

"Doesn't matter, there are Turian scouts out looking for your team right now, it won't be long."

"I doubt it. The only way we're leaving, and that everyone will know your students are safe, is if you walk out of here with me. Your choice, but your time is running out."

Slamming her fist into the table Jane leaned forward. "Bullshit."

"Hey, if you like them as much as you say you do, you'd better do as I say, or we'll start picking them off, and you'll never see it coming."

"How the hell are they doing that, this is one of the most secure bases in Turian space."

He smirked and shook his head. "Yeah, like I'm going to tell you that. Just rest assured it's what we do."

"Fuck you." Jane turned and stormed out of the room, slamming her earpiece down on the table and turning towards the shocked group.

Xara spoke first, "I fucking knew it, you should have stayed gone, I had hopped you were dead, but you were out there with them. If one good Turian dies because of you, I'll kill you myself. You ruined everything, but with time I can make things right, once you're gone." Xara tossed a longing glance towards Garrus, and then spun her venom back on Jane. "Commander, you're not just going to let this traitor human stand here are you? Send them back."

Jane hadn't really heard anything Xara had said, there was a faint buzzing sound in her ears, and her head felt heavy. Spinning on her, Jane's body began to glow and without saying a word she flung Xara against the far wall and was on top of her in the next breath, biotic punches slamming into her chest, sides and face. She felt hands on her shoulders, under her arms pulling her back, but she didn't stop, and she felt something break under her last punch as she was ripped off Xara's bleeding and panting body.

"Vandrel, control yourself immediately."

She didn't say a word, just stood there, numb. Waiting for her punishment, but nothing came. Xara was collected and removed to the clinic. The room remained silent.

As her breathing returned to normal and the haze from her eyes cleared, she was able to focus on Garrus. He nodded to her as their eyes met, she didn't find anger or confusion, just acceptance and love, and it struck her, like a knife to the heart.

"So, what am I supposed to do Vandrel?"

"Sir, you can't possibly be thinking of sending her with him?" Garrus took a step forward as if he would place himself between Jane and the Commander.

"No, of course not, even if I wanted to, I can't just send the Generals daughter out there, the Lieutenant there is most likely trying to bullshit his way out of this. I've had scouts out since we found him, they have reported nothing. They suspect this is a single scout sent to see if they could find her. He got caught, and is trying to bluff his way out."

"Yes, that seems likely." Garrus nodded, but Jane's gut was telling her that they were wrong, he wasn't lying. But she remained quiet.

"I think we've had enough for this afternoon. Vakarian, if you would escort Jane to my office and sit with her, I will be along shortly."

"Of course Sir," Garrus laid his hand on Jane's arm and began to lead her towards the door when Andruis stopped them.

"Vandrel, it was good to see you stand up for yourself. Next time however, we will do it properly, in a ring. Understood?"

She nodded, "Sir, yes sir."

"Very good, continue."

ooOoo

Once in Andruis's office, Garrus wrapped his arms around Jane, her body was shaking. The adrenaline was leaving her system, and he felt her collapse against him.

"Is this what you haven't wanted to talk about? That you found out that you have a human father and brother?"

Shaking her head against his chest she clung on to him.

"Only partly, there is more. That order you were given, to have me move forward, when I was captured. It was on purpose, they want me to infiltrate the Alliance. Well that's what the Hierarchy wants. My dad and Victus want me to go back and find out some way to end this war."

"What?"

She could hear the shock in his voice, and she shrugged lamely. Not sure what she was supposed to say.

"You told them no right? That you wouldn't go back, that you belong here."

She didn't answer and he pulled back from her, his eyes searching her face. "You told them you'd go back?"

"They've given me a year to finish training and go back."

"And you what, thought you shouldn't tell me that?"

"I didn't want to have this conversation; I didn't want to see that look in your eyes."

"I don't understand, you were what, not going to tell me and just get captured again, and leave me here thinking you were in danger?"

"No, I would have told you."

"When, right before I gave the order that would have gotten you 'captured' again?" She was silent and Garrus couldn't take it. "Don't you dare go silent on me now Jane, tell me what you were thinking."

"I was thinking that I didn't want to ask you to wait for me, I don't know when or if I'll ever see you again. Yes it was selfish but I didn't want to go through this year, having to watch you walk away from me."

"You don't think that should be my choice? Damn it, you should be able to tell me anything. I would never walk away from you. Don't walk away from me, do you hear me? If there is one thing I understand in this messed up Galaxy is orders. I'm not sure I've been clear sweetheart, maybe that's my fault. So let me make this painfully obvious."

Lifting her head he lowered his to hers and rubbed against her, his scent was strong and she could hear the growl deep in his chest. "I love you, nothing will change that and I would wait forever for you. Don't take that away from me, don't you dare push me away. Don't leave without letting me have the choice to mark you. You're my mate, mark or not, I figured you would have known that by now. We slept together, and not in the way you're thinking. I mean we slept in each other's arms, I trust you Jane Vandrel, now trust me."

"I should have, I just figured you'd try to stop me, and when I told you that I had already made up my mind, that I am going to find a way to stop this, that you wouldn't understand."

"Well I'm not sure I fully understand, but I'll try, and as far as stopping you, I'd like to, but I know better than to argue with the Generals, or the Hierarchy. Doesn't mean I have to like it though, oh and if I find out that Alenko has touched you at any point while you're with them. I'll track him down, even if you're on Earth," leaning back from her again he smiled and was rewarded by her hand stroking his mandible.

"Now as far as you kicking the crap out of Xara, impressive, I've never seen you snap like that."

"Yeah, I'm not sure what came over me, I shouldn't have done that."

"I'd say it might have something to do with that Red Sand the Commander is making you take. Though it's not like Xara didn't have it coming, as I said it was impressive."

Laughing Jane curled herself against Garrus's chest; he rocked her gently and let his talons run through her hair, laying his head against the side of hers. After a moment he felt her breathing even out and realized she was asleep, he continued to stroke her hair and whispered. "I love you, and I won't let anyone take this time from us."

ooOoo

The next day at PT and drills was nerve-wracking. Jane couldn't help looking over her shoulder, she felt like she was being watched. What if he hadn't been lying, what if they really were out there?

The ten kilometer run might as well have been a hundred. She was stressed, and as Sadria and she finished, she watched the young Turian smile up at her from her relaxed position on the field, stretching her legs, asking a million questions about her fight with Xara.

"Honestly Sadi, I wouldn't really call it a fight. I did kind of jump her."

Sadria was on her feet and making play punches back towards the ground.

"Marrus said you were beating the shit out of her, and if they wouldn't have pulled you off, you would have kept going, and she would have ended up with worse than broken bones in her face and a cracked rib."

Before she could respond Sadria's face screwed up and she fell forward, if Jane wouldn't have been right there she would have hit the ground.

"Sadi, what's wrong?" She didn't have to ask, as she laid her on the ground and moved her hand, it was covered in her blood, it blossomed on her shirt and began to soak the ground.

Jane screamed for help and scanned the tree line beyond them. She couldn't see anything, but knew they were there.

"Jane, Jane, listen to me. You need to get to the Commander, I'll take care of Sadria, go, run."

Shaking her head to clear the fog she turned her head and realized Marrus was kneeled next to her. When the hell had he gotten there? She didn't ask, just jumped to her feet and ran towards Andruis's office without looking back. She didn't wait to be announced just burst through the door. Whatever he saw on her face was enough for him to jump up from his desk and run towards the door.

"He wasn't lying, they shot Sadria, and they're out there. You need to let me go with him, they won't stop. You know he wasn't lying. Let me go, don't let them hurt anyone else."

He didn't stop, just grabbed her arm as he walked past her and down the hall towards where the prisoner was being kept.

Opening the door the Lieutenant stood, the grin on his face made Jane feel like she was going to be sick.

"Figured out I wasn't lying huh? You ready to go Jane?"

Damn translators, she couldn't understand him, but could tell he was gloating. She knew he could understand her though and shouted. "You bastard, they shot my best friend. You had better hope she's not dead, or I'll rip you apart."

He shrugged at her and she took a menacing step towards him but Andruis' hand caught her before she could take another step.

"Take her, go. Tell your men to back off of my students. You have what you want." He pointed towards the door and Jane's jaw almost hit the ground. This was really happening, Spirits. Garrus...

Andruis watched them walk out the door that lead towards the perimeter of the base, waiting until the door shut and he hit his comm.

"Nyreen I need your help."

ooOoo

Lieutenant Vega had his hand firmly on her back, pushing her forward towards the trees, how the hell had they managed to get this close? How had they been able to get a shot like that at Sadria?

So many questions, but no answers were to be found as they hit a clearing a few kilometers into the woods. Kaidan was there and about six others. He smiled, "Nice job James."

"Yeah lucky for me they didn't shoot first and ask questions later."

Kaidan nodded and motioned for her to be moved forward.

Garrus had heard what happened and hadn't stopped to ask questions, he knew where Jane would go and what she would have asked the Commander to do, damn it; he prayed he wasn't too late; no one was going to take the only time he may have left. Rifle in hand he sprinted towards the woods.

As he came over a ridge he found them in a clearing, there were five of them, he recognized only Vega and Alenko, and the others were nameless targets. Setting up his rifle he was so intent that he didn't hear the click behind him until it was too late, gun pressed to his head he was lead down the hill until he was standing in front of Jane. Her eyes met his and she snapped, biotics flaring she attacked the man next to Kaidan and grabbed his rifle, popped the heat sink and loaded a round, leveling it at the man holding Garrus.

Wishing she had her translator she prayed he had one in, and said slowly.

"Let him go."

Kaidan stepped to her side, pointed to the rifle and then to the ground and she shook her head violently.

"No, not until they let Garrus go."

She saw recognition flash through Kaidan's eyes at the name, but he still shook his head.

Holding Garrus's gaze he nodded at her, "Take the shot Jane."

Her eyes asked the question and he shook his head, "You won't miss, take the shot."

Kaidan shook his head and pointed at the gun, and back to the ground.

She stared at the face of the human just behind Garrus and knew she would take the shot. Taking a deep breath she squeezed the trigger. But as the shot left the rifle, there was nothing for it to hit, a biotic blast had sent both of them sprawling, and within a matter of seconds it was an all out fight, Nyreen's biotics, Kaidan's biotics, and Jane's biotics and rifle fire. But as the fighting came to a sudden halt, the Alliance was gone and Nyreen, Garrus and Jane were alone.

"Someone want to tell me how the hell they're doing that?" Garrus tossed down the Alliance rifle and grabbed for Jane.

"You came for me Garrus."

"Yeah, well no one is taking my year from me, especially not him."

ooOoo

Jane sat next to Sadria's bed in the hospital; she held her hand and smiled at her as she opened her eyes for the first time in a week.

"I thought I lost you."

"I'm Sadria Victus, I'm harder to kill than that, but the way my head feels right now, I kind of wish I was dead."

They spoke until the doctors told Jane she had to leave so Sadria could rest; she nodded and found her way to the quad where Garrus and Nyreen were waiting.

"She's going to live; the doctors say she'll be fine in a few days."

"That's great to hear love."

Garrus hugged her tight before she stepped to his side.

"Commander, thank you for coming, I don't know what I would have done."

"Yes you do Vandrel, you would have taken that shot, it would have landed but they would have taken you both in the rush. Your anger has gotten the better of you twice today." Jane started to speak but Nyreen cut her off. "Are you ready to learn to use that anger, control it?"

Jane nodded and Nyreen smiled briefly before turning from her. "Good, we'll get you ready yet." She walked away leaving Garrus and Jane alone under the stars.

"I'll help you too, I understand now, we're never going to be able to live our life with this war, and they won't leave you in peace with me. But once you've ended this war, you had better come back to me, because I'll be here, waiting for you. Until then though," his words faded as his mouth found her neck and the world around them disappeared and for that moment, they were alone in the Galaxy.


	13. Crimson Snow

Time has a way of slipping by us when we least want it to. Garrus stared down at his father's present, a new rifle, spirits, how could it be his birthday again, time was almost up, and it seemed to him that it had all barely started. Looking up from the rifle in his hand and glancing towards the red-headed girl on his left a frustrated growl left his throat and she turned her face towards him and gave him a half-hearted smile.

"I know, try not to think about it." She turned back to her rifle finished cleaning it, and set it aside, staring at her now empty hands.

"It's all I can think about Jane."

She didn't respond just continued to stare at her hands. In the months since the attack on Sadria, there had been no push to take her, there had been rare sightings of the squad lead by Kaidan, always at the front of some attack, and it was only a matter of time now before they would be sent to take them on again. The waiting was worse than anything, in the past weeks any orders delivered were received with a held breath and a pounding heart, but there had been nothing yet. It felt like they stood on the edge of a crumbling cliff, one move and everything would come crashing down. Worse, they knew they would be told to jump.

At her continued silence, Garrus cleared his throat and leaned forward.

"I know you don't want to talk about this, but you've avoided it for months, we need to talk about it."

She lifted red tinged eyes to his, it wasn't fatigue or tears causing the redness in them, but more the effect of the Red Sand she was still being forced to take.

"I don't know how they think I can do any good with them. Do they really think anyone will listen to me?"

"I know you have to try, you've heard the talk, the Alliance is pulling back, gathering their forces, something major is coming, and it's not good."

"Yeah, thanks for pointing that out. I know what's riding on this, more than just the fate of us all."

Her eyes were cold, hard. He had seen that look any time he had tried to talk about this with her.

"I know what you're thinking, but do you really think it's a good idea?"

"Is what a good idea?"

"Getting whatever revenge on Kaidan you've been stewing over for a year. The war is bigger than your issues with him, Jane you're going to have to let it go. I doubt killing anyone in the Alliance is really going to help them listen to you."

"Let it go? Would you be saying that if it was me who was killed, instead of Nihlus? Wouldn't you want him dead? Why don't you care about this?"

"Jane, listen to me, this is war, and he did only what we would have, hell, what we have done. How many of them have we killed? Every single one of them had someone, somewhere who feels the same way that you do." He saw the twitch at the corner of her mouth as her eyes narrowed at the ground. "It's in the past and it needs to stay there." He took her hand and traced his talon over the back of it gently.

"What is important to me is that you don't piss off the Alliance enough to have them lock you up forever, or worse, shoot you. I need you to come home to me."

Her eyes found his and the firm line of her mouth caused Garrus's breath to catch in his chest.

"What if I don't come back? What if I can't find you, what if I'm," she swallowed the lump in her throat fighting back the urge to cry.

"That's a lot of what ifs. You will come back, I'll find you if I have to."

Before she could respond the Commanders runner stopped in front of them and Jane felt herself suck in a breath, her heart pounding in her ears.

"Corporal Vakarian, Corporal Vandrel, the Commander wishes to see you." He saluted, and started off towards the main building.

They sighed in unison as their eyes met, and without saying a word they both knew it was time.

"I still can't get used to being called Corporal."

"You're going to be a Commander some day, I'd get used to it."

Garrus could have kicked himself, as her face fell and she stared down at her feet, the twitch of her fingers against each other and the sad tilt of her head, ate at him.

"No, I won't, I'm not even going to get to be here to see you make Sergeant."

"We might have time yet; this might not even be about that."

He watched her roll her eyes and he shrugged. "Even if it is, we most likely won't be shipped out for at least a week. We have time."

Famous last words, thought Garrus as they stood before the Commander, Jane's voice sounded distant as the buzzing in his ears grew louder. He had to blink and shake his head to hear her whisper.

"Fifteen minutes? You can't be serious."

"I am, you and Vakarian are to report directly to the landing pad, your weapons and armour will be waiting for you. I'm sorry Vandrel, but that's an order. Your father wishes you well."

Those last words caught Jane off guard, he was just sending her off, with out so much as the order coming directly from him, or a message. She couldn't belive what she was hearing.

As they left Andruis's office, Garrus caught Jane's hand and pulled her towards him.

"What was that about time? By the way, you're going to have to explain this one to Sadi, because when she hears, she's going to freak out. Kind of glad I won't be around for it." she tried to smile at the mention of her best friend, but it faltered and didn't reach her eyes and it broke his heart.

"Jane there is so much I want to say, so much we haven't done."

Nodding Jane leaned on his chest; he could feel the heat of her tears.

"Don't cry; don't make this feel like good-bye. We need to think of this like any other mission. I want to think of it like you're being stationed away from me, and that's all, I'll see you when your tour is done. Everything is going to work out. You'll come back to me, I'll buy us a home, I'll mark you properly and we'll have a nice ceremony for your mom. We'll adopt, you'll be an amazing mother, and we'll live our lives in peace. Once this war is over maybe I'll join C-sec like my father. Can't you just see us, bashing around the citadel?"

Sniffing she lifted her eyes to his, her hand instinctively raising to brush across his mandible. "Do you really believe all that?"

He crushed her close to him, memorizing her smell, the feel of her hand on his face, and the softness of her hair through his talons. "I have to Jane. I have to."

ooOoo

"This is loco; we've been out here for a week, and no sign of that sniper squad, no sign of your girlfriend and her boyfriend. I don't think they're going to show Sir. Why would they? They know we're after her; they aren't just going to send her to the front. She's a Generals daughter for God's sake."

"Show's what you know about the Turians. They don't play favorites, Jane is one of their best snipers, they won't lose this base, it's the last stronghold they have on this planet. Bonus is they won't send an airstrike until they push us back from the base, with it under siege and their own people in there. Wait for it, it'll happen."

"This is still nuts, a year of strategic strikes, trying to draw her out. I don't see why the Admiral is wasting his time; he's going to have to lock her up on Earth to keep her from running back to her Turian. It's pointless."

"You have our orders Vega, your opinion doesn't really matter. As a side note, she's not my girlfriend. I was with her for a total of four days."

"Yeah that's true, she's with that Turian. Still you talk about her nonstop. It's disturbing really. I get it though; she's hot, like smoking hot. But you've got a long row to hoe amigo."

Silence answered him and he shivered hunkering down in the cover they had made to the side of the front that was laying siege to the base.

"I thought Turians hated the cold? Why the hell would they care about a base on an ice ball like this?"

"Because we want it, that's why, they have some of our officers being held here you know."

"But we're not going to be rescuing them. Seems a little messed up, we really need to sort out our priorities. Or at least the Admiral does."

"Noted Lieutenant," Kaidan's eyes scanned the horizon, his shield was firmly in place, he didn't want to take the chance Jane would miss a third time. Not with that shot, not after what they had done at the Academy.

As he waited his mind wandered, he thought of what he would say to her, how he would make her understand what they had done. How he could get her to not hate him, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if he'd have a shot with her. The Admiral sure seemed to think so. He was the one being chosen to take her back to Earth, her personal guard he was being told.

Well, he had to get her first, and that was starting to look bleaker and bleaker. He was running out of time, the Admiral was becoming restless and there was something going on with Alliance command, something was going to happen, something big enough that the Admiral wanted his daughter safely out-of-the-way. No matter the cost, this just happened to include the lives of some of his officers.

ooOoo

"Did I ever mention I hate the cold?" Jane kicked the snow with her boot and stared at the white landscape, as Garrus chuckled.

"Yeah, once or twice, I'm not really a fan myself."

"Why here? What do they want?"

"Well this is a prison; it wasn't used for years, now it's a housing facility for P.O.W. Mostly high-ranking officials, so I'm guessing they want their officers back."

"Right, and we don't want them to have them, but why us?"

"Apparently Kaidan's squad was spotted here, they are dug in and their front line is crushing the resistance, we can't bomb this place or we would have already. They need us to take them out so the resistance can push them back and wipe them out."

"Uh huh, because that doesn't sound strangely familiar," Jane's eyes scanned the base, no cover. Just like a prison, open land all around it, sure it made it easy to pick off escaping prisoners, but did not help them out in any way, shape or form.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Thoughts," he watched as she turned and regarded the rest of their squad, they each gave her a salute, and a smile. They trusted her, after all this time, they had finally seen her for the Turian she was, and it was all over. He blinked hard at his last though, trying to push it from his mind. It wasn't over, not by a long shot, not if he had anything to say about it.

"Thoughts, well, for one, let's get this the hell over with. But as far as what to do right now, well, we need cover, we're going to have to flank them, they're dug in over there, at the far end of that line of trees, they're sending in strike forces, wave after wave." Pulling up a map of the area on her omni-tool she pointed towards three spots. "We divide into three groups, here, here and here. Flank them, wait for Kaidan's squad to show and take them out."

She frowned as she looked up at Garrus, they both knew that wasn't the plan, but they couldn't say it. They had to make this believable.

"Alright, let's do this shall we?"

Once all the teams were in position and Jane and Garrus were alone she elbowed him, pointing towards the front line of the Alliance. "Have a look, recognise him?"

"Oh sure, I'd know that hair anywhere."

Jane snorted at that and shook her head. "Alright, how should we do this? Let it play its self out? Or should I test that shield of his?"

She smirked, liking that idea, but Garrus shook his head and she frowned.

"Fine, then how do you suggest we," but she was too late, Garrus had already angled his sniper rifle's scope towards the sun the reflection bounced off Kaidan's squads position and she spun and ducked as did Garrus.

"What the hell, that's your solution?"

"Well, they know someone is over here now, it should be enough to peak their curiosity."

"Yeah, or have them send a frontal wave this direction."

She heard him snort and she back-handed him on the chest, her armour thudding against his.

"Either way, it'll work."

"Yeah, but you need to be able to get out of here too, don't forget that."

"I know love, but my first priority, as much as I hate it, is to get you to Kaidan."

"Spirits this is messed up."

ooOoo

Kaidan saw the flash of light, and turned just in time to see two forms duck down on their left flank. One had definitely been human. They were here, sloppy he thought, but at least he knew now that the Admirals plan had worked.

He just had to decide if he would advance on their position or wait. It took him only a moment to shake his head and laugh at himself. Snipers, they would wait him out, his only choice at this point was to advance on their position.

"Vega, on me, weapons and ammo only."

"See something Sir?"

"Yeah, maybe, I want to check it out either way. Keep your head low and follow my lead."

Vega watched as Kaidan's shield shimmered and he laughed. "Sure, follow the guy with the biotic shield, so when the shots bounce off him they can turn their attention to the well made Marine behind him."

"You're not that well made."

"Bullshit, where the hell have you been looking?"

They made their way back into the trees, Kaidan made sure to make a wide circle, hoping to come up behind them. He crouched just behind the hill and lifted his rifle, trying to find their location. He found Garrus first, it was them, his back was to him and he had the perfect shot, close enough even he wouldn't miss. He waited, every bit of his military training was screaming at him to take the shot, but he couldn't seem to make his mind and body agree to pull the trigger.

"Sir, it's a perfect shot, take it." Vega was beside him, raised his rifle, and he didn't have the slightest hesitation as Kaidan turned and saw him fire three perfectly placed shots. There was someone else who saw him fire; Jane had turned at the slightest sound, had she heard voices?

Just as she turned she saw them, Kaidan saw her eyes go wide, and he heard her cry Garrus's name as she jumped in front of him, her back towards them, hugging Garrus's back. Time slowed down, every sound amplified, he heard the first shot hit her, she hadn't been ready for it and it knocked the air out of her, the second cause a small cry, but the worst was the third shot, it was answered by silence.

Kaidan rushed forward without thinking, leaving Vega stunned on the ground where he had fired the fatal shots from.

He prayed the Turian had a goddamn translator in this time. Garrus wasn't moving as he held Jane's body close to him, staring down at her unmoving features. Her blood was soaking the ground, his hands, and claws, were soaked and even as he slid to his knees in front of them, Garrus' eyes didn't leave Jane's face. Kaidan said his name once, and the second time shouted it.

"Garrus, I need you to look at me."

Reluctantly Garrus ripped his eyes from Jane's still body and stared at Kaidan.

"Why?"

"Garrus, I need you to give me Jane. I have a med evac at the back of our line. I can get her out of here, I can get her help. You have to give her to me though."

Garrus' heart felt like it had stopped, so much blood, there wasn't a chance she could live, was there? Three shots to the back, spirits, but he knew there was no chance to get her back to their evac zone. He had to let her go. Nodding he caught Kaidan's hand as he leaned forward to pick up Jane.

"Kaidan, save her, please."

"I'll try, I'll do whatever I can. You should get out of here though."

The look of confusion on the Turians face would have made him laugh any other time. It was such an odd look, that quirk of the head he had gotten used to seeing from Jane.

"Just go."

Kaidan lifted Jane into his arms, her blood was still running freely, he ran his omni-too over it, medi gel might stop the bleeding just long enough.

He turned without another look at the kneeled Turian, the anguish on his face was threatening to rip his heart from his chest.

Vega had regained enough to stand and stood staring back at the still kneeled Turian.

"You can't just leave him there. Kill him."

"No, don't touch him, that's an order Vega, damn it, move out, you've done enough damage."

Reluctantly he turned and followed Kaidan through the woods, and towards their rear med evac.

Garrus watched them go, his throat tight, not able to get a full breath, as they disappeared into the trees he looked down at the snow, now soaked red with Jane's blood, the same colour as her hair.

The contrast of red and white caused the emotions in him to break, tears slid down his face as a deep sob broke from his chest. He stood trying to capture his emotions, his hands ran over his face and he could feel the cooling blood now mixed with his face paint. Swallowing he called his men back, they were to meet him at the evac zone, he would call for the shuttle. Before he left his eyes swept the spot where Jane's body had fallen and he realised that might have been the last time he would ever see her. He tired to think of the last words he had spoken to her, but couldn't call them to mind. Had he told her he loved her? She knew of course. But had he said it one last time? Would she live? There was no possible way he would be able to find out. It took every ounce of willpower he had to walk away, back to his squad.

He'd feel it if she was dead? Wouldn't he? A million questions and thoughts and memories flashed through his mind as he waited for the shuttle, his squad was oddly silent, the red blood that now covered his armour enough of an explanation. What was he supposed to do now? How could he live, not knowing if she was alive or dead, and how was he going to tell Ganis?

ooOoo

They had been able to get Jane to the med evac, the doc on the shuttle stared at Kaidan in horror. "Honestly Sir, I'm not sure how she's still alive, but she won't be for long if we don't get her help, one of the shots hit her spine, she needs surgery now, surgery I can't do here. We have to get her to the Admirals ship.

Kaidan remembered nodding; the rest was a daze, the Admirals ship, the yelling, and the course for Earth. And now as he stood outside her hospital door, hearing the doctors tell the Admiral that it was touch and go, that they hoped she would recover, but only time would tell.

The door opened and he sat next to her bed, she was still in a coma, they had to keep her under they said. The pain would be unbearable. He heard their words, but all he could see was the small broken body in front of him. The Admiral stood to his side and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Not quite how I saw this working out Lieutenant, but at least she is home. Stay with her, I have to return to the fleet, I'll be back as soon as I can. I want to be here when she wakes, message me as soon as there is any change. Good work Alenko."

Words like good work, and home, made no sense to him in this situation. She wasn't home, and in no way was this good work. How the hell had everything gone so wrong?

The worst part was that he couldn't get the look that had been on Garrus's face out of his mind, the look of pain and anguish on his face. So much like his own in that moment, and the thought haunted him.

Vega had asked why she would do that, why she would throw herself in front of the Turian like that.

The simple answer was that she was protecting someone she loved, and now it was all taken from her. And he was expected to replace it. But he didn't say that, he kept his mouth closed, and let the guilt rip him apart from the inside out.

ooOoo

**::ducks:: Don't hurt me. ;)**


	14. Playing The Game

**"So A/U, we need a Tardis and Dr. Who to find our way back. Fantastic." A comment from a reader. (You know who you are.) Thanks, I think. :)**

**ooOoo**

Garrus couldn't move he didn't know how long he had sat in the clinic back at the Academy. Time had no meaning, everything was happening around him like normal. People coming and going, he heard their voices but didn't understand their words. Shock was a word being tossed around a lot. At one point he was sure Sadria had been there sitting across from him, talking to him. How long ago had that been?

"Garrus, Garrus, son I need you to come back, you need to talk to me."

Garrus lifted his head, General Vandrel was there. He wasn't sure how long he had been there, but he was seated on the chair in front of him. They were alone and Garrus faintly wondered where Victus was.

"I don't know what to say Sir."

"You can start with why you're covered in human blood."

His voice and eyes were soft and Garrus felt like he was going to be sick.

"Jane," his voice cracked and he clenched his shaking hands to try and control his emotions before he continued.

"We found the biotics position, I made the call, alerted them to our position, they were behind us, one of the men fired on us. Jane, she threw herself in front of me, she took three shots to back sir." He couldn't control it, the emotions came pouring out, Ganis was shocked. It was a rare thing to see a Turian break, especially one as well trained as Vakarian.

Ganis laid a hand on his shoulder waiting for the sobbing to stop, his body was shaking his head in his hands, and the blood that covered him was brown and flaking now. Jane's blood he thought, spirits there was a lot of it.

"Sir, I don't know why she did that. I know it was the plan for her to be gone, but now, I don't know if she's alive sir, Kaidan took her, he promised he'd try to help her," he paused and Ganis could see him trying to control the pain and anger, mixed emotions that were threatening to overthrow him again. "It was my fault."

Ganis shook his head and sat back in the chair, closing his eyes against his words, his hand ran over the back of his neck. Releasing a deep sigh he opened his eyes and focused on Garrus. His back was bent, and he looked like he may fall at his feet at any moment.

"No, it wasn't your fault; Jane made a choice Garrus, the right one."

Garrus flinched at his words his mandible trembling slightly, "She what? How can you say that? She is the best chance we have at solving this mess, more than that sir. She is my life, and I screwed that up."

"No you didn't. Jane is strong; don't talk about her like she's gone. Jane knew that if they had shot you, they wouldn't have helped you. You would have died out there. It wasn't the best possible outcome, but she was taken, as planned. And you lived. Tell me Garrus, do you think Jane would have been willing to go, if you had been shot? If you had been killed, she wouldn't have had the drive of seeing you again pushing her on, helping her through what is going to be some of the most difficult times of her life."

Ganis watched as Garrus's eyes cleared and he seemed to find some sort of control.

"No, Jane is a Turian she would have done what was needed no matter what sir. Besides, she has you to fight for still."

Chuckling lightly, Ganis shook his head. "No, you're her life now, I'm her father and I love her. But she's fighting for you, for your life together, never forget that. As far as Jane being a Turian and doing what needs to be done, yes, she will. That is why you must also. I need you to be a voice of reason here. Don't let them forget her, they may not be able to know what she's doing, but don't let them forget that they trusted her, that they knew her and that she was human, just as she was Turian, that it is possible for us to co-exist." His eyes searched the young Turians face, as he stood and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"If she did die, we won't let it be in vain, we will not stop until all of this ends."

Garrus nodded staring at the blood on his hands, he knew he would have to clean up, but to him, it felt like he was washing her away.

Watching Garrus stare at his hands, Ganis knew what he was thinking. Touching him gently on the arm he smiled.

"You should know, I consider you my son Garrus, I'll keep an eye out for you. You have my support in all things. I know Jane may be gone for a long time, longer than either of us wants to think about, but I ask you, please, don't forget her."

Shaking his head violently Garrus stared directly into his eyes.

"I won't sir, ever."

It was a simple promise, but in that moment, it meant everything.

ooOoo

Kaidan sat quietly next to Jane's bed; he hadn't left for a week, unless it was to shower. As he sat with his head against the chair staring at the ceiling the steady beep of Jane's heart monitor, that had become almost soothing, with its regular rhythm went erratic. Jumping up he was by her side in an instant. God her eyes were open and they were darting around the room, not really seeing anything, until they landed on him, if they could have bored holes through him, they would have.

Nodding he motioned towards a side table where the doctors had left a translator, he approached her and brushed her hair behind her ear, he saw in her eyes that if she could have pulled away, she would have. Gently he pressed the translator into her ear and stepped back from her. The heart monitor was still going crazy and her eyes were still locked on his face, the question obvious in their green depths.

"Garrus is fine; when I left him, he was unharmed."

Her look softened, and her heart slowed, but as her eyes turned towards the window and she tried to speak and realised she couldn't, the heart monitor became erratic again.

Jane couldn't speak, she couldn't move anything but her eyes, the room she was in didn't look like a ships med bay, and one look out the window confirmed that she was on a planet. Kaidan was by her bed, he looked rough, like he hadn't slept in days.

"Jane, you were shot, I'm not sure you remember it, but you were hurt quite severely, your spine was hit, and one of your lungs, twice. They inflated your lung, but they are worried it might collapse again, so they have you ventilated, it's why you can't talk, the tube in your throat."

Kaidan watched as her eyes found his again, it was almost as if she had just ignored what he'd said, as she turned her eyes from his back towards the window. It was a question of course and he sat gently on the edge of her bed, once again she looked at him and then back to the window.

"You're on Earth, this is Vancouver. Where I was born, and funny enough, where you were born."

Earth, if she could have yelled at that moment, she would have. Earth, here she was, on the human home world, and she was born there? She blinked, trying to keep herself awake, but there were others in the room now, removing Kaidan from the bed and now she felt like she was floating; the world faded to a pinpoint of light, and then went dark.

That's how it went for she didn't know how long; she would awake long enough to see Kaidan, still there. He would smile, reassure her and then she was out again. Sometimes there would be others in the room, doctors, nurses, and she was sure she had seen the Admiral at one point. But no matter how she tried, she couldn't keep herself awake, the darkness would soon wash over her and the process would repeat.

"The doctors say she's getting better Admiral, they think they are going to be able to remove the breathing tube soon and that they can start lifting the drug that has kept her paralyzed."

Hackett nodded and stared at the sleeping girl on the bed. "Good, I'm not sure how long I can stay after she's awake, I'm needed back with the fleet, but I'll leave instructions for where she is to be moved after they release her. I have a house not far from the base, on English Bay. I think you and she will be comfortable there, until she can make a full recovery."

He nodded, wondering if this was his life now, personal body-guard and butler to the Admirals daughter. Just why he had joined the military he thought with a sigh. Not that he minded time with Jane, but he was pretty damn sure she didn't want to be around him.

Hackett ignored the sigh from Kaidan and locked his hands behind his back. "I've called John here; he has a few months between his officer training at West Point and placement within the fleet. I thought he might want to spend it here."

Kaidan was taken aback, did John know? Before the question could be asked the door to the hall slid open, it was one of the nurses.

"Admiral, your son is here. He's in the lobby; do you want me to show him in sir?"

"No, thank you. I'll be right out." The nurse left the room with a nod from Hackett. "It's been a few years since you've seen John, he finished his time at biotic normal training, not long after you, he however went into officer training you know."

Kaidan wanted to roll his eyes, he was very aware that John who was a few years younger than him, was well on his way to becoming a Major already, just one of the perks to having an Admiral for a father. Too bad they didn't follow the Turians on that, and make them earn it, no matter who their father was. The thought made him smile. Looking up at the raised eyebrow of Admiral Hackett, reminded him that he hadn't replied.

"Yes, I heard, seems he has your eye for tactics sir. I've heard he was top of his class. Maybe it runs in the Hackett blood."

As the Admiral turned to leave the room he glanced back towards Jane, "That's what I'm hoping Alenko."

Following him from the room Kaidan's stomach clenched, what had that meant?

ooOoo

As they entered the waiting room, John stood and saluted his father and him, before taking Kaidan's hand in a firm, warm handshake.

"It's good to see you Lieutenant Alenko. I've heard a lot about your biotic squad, seems you've caused quite a stir with the Turians."

He should have been proud that his squad was known, that they had done their jobs well enough to cause any sort of ripple in the war, but it only caused the tightening in his stomach to worsen. So he just nodded as John turned towards his father.

"So Sir, I can't imagine why you would call me here, you're not in a hospital bed, so I assume it can't be that bad. Can I inquire as to why you've requested that I stay in Vancouver during my leave? I had plans you know."

Kaidan had to temper his facial expression; John had always been a bit spoiled, good kid, just used to things being easy. Not that it was really his fault; things had been easy for him. He had this draw that women and men alike just didn't seem to be able to resist. He furrowed his eyebrows thinking of Jane, maybe that ran in the family too. Though he doubted that Jane's life had been easy," his thoughts were interrupted as the Admiral cleared his throat and asked.

"What plans?"

John quirked a ruddy eyebrow and Kaidan took in his features, comparing them to Jane's. Red hair, green eyes, but that's where the similarities ended. John had an easy look about him, relaxed, when he wasn't angry anyway. Jane always looked alert, her movements were, well hell they were Turian. Jane in a way, almost looked more like the Admiral, or maybe it was the Military confidence in her.

Oh John was military to the core, but his was a different sort of confidence, not the kind earned, but the kind that said. "Don't you know who my father is?" Kaidan had hoped he would grow out of that, because a biotic in his position, with the real ability to become an Admiral one day, could only help them.

"With all due respect father, my plans are none of your concern."

With a simple lift of his head and his hands behind his back, the Admirals presence became one of authority and Kaidan couldn't help it, he fell to parade rest as did John. Hackett ignored the comment and continued.

"John, how much do you remember about your mother?"

Kaidan watched Johns face scrunch up in confusion, his eyes narrowing on his fathers.

"Only what you've told me. The photos we have of course, and that I'm damn sure she was the only thing you've ever loved more than the Alliance." John's eyes flashed that look he'd seen before. Right before someone got blasted across the room. John wasn't known for having the best control of his temper, and at that moment Kaidan wished he had been dismissed, or that possibly the ground would open and he'd fall through the floor.

"Do you remember your sister?"

"No, only the photo you have. According to you sir, mother took her when you did, well whatever you did that made her leave me."

"John, we've talked about this, she left us, not just you. She made her choice."

"Yeah, but I know you well enough to know that you most likely made that choice pretty easy for her. Alliance first right father, isn't that what you've always told me, and you've never replaced her, so I assume you still feel guilty over it."

"Your mother isn't replaceable," John's hands clenched at his side and he interrupted the Admiral before he could finish. Kaidan had never heard anyone interrupt Hackett, let alone do it in that tone.

"You should have thought about that, before you forced her away and she was killed, and if you're not careful you're going to manage to do it again."

"John, don't, you know I love you, I've only ever wanted the best for you."

"Yes, as long as that falls in line with what you want. Now tell me why I'm here, we've had enough fights over the mother you took from me."

Emotion showing on the Admirals face was not something Kaidan was used to seeing and more than ever he wished he was anywhere but there. Hell he'd take hand to hand with Garrus at this point, no biotics, over having to watch this conversation.

"John, why don't you have a seat son?"

"I prefer to stand, thank you."

"I should have started this differently; I know I've made mistakes with you. I wish you could understand what happened back then, but you were too young, the war was young then, we all had to make a lot of decisions we didn't like. But I've been given the chance to fix one of those mistakes, and I'd like your help making it right."

"What the hell are you talking about sir?"

Taking a step towards John, Hackett laid his hands on his shoulders and spoke softly.

"Your sister was found alive, she's was hurt badly in a firefight, but she's alive, and recovering here."

If John had looked confused before, it had been a pale imitation of what now showed on his face. He opened his mouth a few times, trying to figure out what to say.

"What? How the hell is that possible? You must be joking, there is no way sir, we were six when she was killed. Are you sure it's her?"

"I am, and that's why I need you here, I have to return to the fleet, I want her to have family with her though, I'm leaving Alenko as well so she's not alone."

John was silent, so Hackett nudged him towards the door, his hand still on his shoulder. "Come, let's go get a coffee."

Their voices faded down the hall as a forgotten Kaidan sank to the couch in the waiting room. Thank God.

How much more complicated could this get?

He didn't sit and wonder at that too long, as his thoughts were drawn back to Jane and he returned to her room, and took his place by her bed.

ooOoo

During the next few days, John visited the still sleeping Jane often, standing over her bed his face was calm, reserved.

"Does she know about me Kaidan?"

"Yeah, I mentioned you, but knowing about you and seeing you in the flesh are two different things. She might not take it very well. She really hasn't even met your father officially."

"Yeah, he said as much. I still can't believe this is real." Without looking at him John gestured towards the door. "I'm going to the house, I'll stay there until she is recovered enough. I'm not sure this is the best place for us to have a first talk. I don't want to stress her out more than necessary." There was a long pause before he asked. "Is it true? You found her with the Turians?"

"Yes." He didn't know what else to say.

"She was raised by the same people who helped ruin my life, I wonder if she even knows what they did to our mother, was that their whole plan? To take her, get even with my mother and father for the failed talks? The men they lost there? It was a slaughter you know, my father only ever spoke of it once."

Kaidan had heard of the peace summit, though he doubted Jane's eventual tenure with the Turians had anything to do with it, but this, as John had said, was not the time or the place for that conversation.

John stood silent for a while longer, his eyes resting on her face, so alike his own, yet different in a million ways, before leaving without another word.

ooOoo

Thirst, that's what had awoken her, her throat felt like it was on fire. As she opened her eyes and glanced around the dim room she saw Kaidan, asleep on the chair against the wall.

Water, rolling her head to the side she could see the glass on the table. As much as she tried, she couldn't lift her arm more than a whisper above the bed. Letting it drop back to her side she tried her voice. It was gravely and sounded like a dry hiss. Pulling everything she had she tried again, this time it came out like gasped shout.

"Kaidan," he was out of his chair and beside her bed before he even knew he was awake.

"What is it? Do you need the doctor I can," but she was shaking her head, her eyes focused fully on the glass of water to her side.

Grabbing it he held it to her lips. "Small sips, don't try to guzzle it. You'll make yourself sick."

She wanted to drink the whole glass, but after three tiny sips he pulled it away from her and sat it back on the table, she wanted to cry out but didn't have the energy. Pulling his chair next to her bed he watched her try to adjust, she was frustrated at her lack of results and he smiled softly, raised the head of her bed and adjusted her pillows. She managed a weak nod as he asked her if that was better and settled himself next to her.

They sat together like that for the next hour or so, the steady blip of her heart monitor the only sound in the dark room. She took a little more water, but didn't try to speak again. Kaidan watched her eyes move slowly back around the room. Really taking it in this time, rather than the look of panic on her face that he had seen in the first days, this look was sad, almost fearful. Without thinking, he rested his hand on top of hers, letting his thumb drift over her knuckles.

"For what it's worth Jane, I'm sorry."

To his surprise she just nodded, closed her eyes and turned her face away from his. She didn't try to move her hand from under his, and he wondered if it was only because she didn't have the strength.

The next morning the Admiral found the room, much in the same way. Kaidan's head was on the bed next to Jane, his hand on hers. She was sitting up slightly, her eyes closed, head turned towards the window, and he smiled, laying a hand on the Lieutenants shoulder, sure he had made the right choice.

Lifting his head at the touch, he pulled himself up and away from the bed in a single movement. His quick retreat from the bed caused Jane to flinch awake, and they both stared in silence at the Admiral.

"It's good to see you awake." Taking a step towards the bed Hackett leaned over her, laying a hand on her forehead. To anyone else, the gesture would be seen as a loving one, though in this situation Kaidan mused, it just felt awkward. Jane swallowed once, and would have pulled away if she had the energy and strength to do so.

"I know we haven't been properly introduced, and I wish it could be handled better. I'm Admiral Steven Hackett, I'm your father."

She nodded, "I know who you are sir." Kaidan's eyebrow lifted at how calm and controlled her quite voice was. That wasn't what he had expected. By the look on his face, it wasn't what the Admiral was expecting either. His thumb brushed over her forehead before smoothing her hair back from her face.

"You look so much like your mother." His voice was barely a whisper; the words seemed to be received the same way as the first statement. Well, to anyone who wasn't looking for that subtle movement at the corner of her mouth that said she was annoyed. He almost laughed, but disguised it as a cough as the Admiral looked towards him.

"There are a million things I want to say Jane, a million things we need to talk about. But for now, I just need you to get better. I have to return to the fleet. I just wanted to see you wake up, know you would be okay. I'm sure they will want to keep you here longer. But I have arranged for you to be taken to my house on the Bay. It's your house too now. I'm sure you'll be happy there. When you've made a full recovery, well discuss all the questions I'm sure you have." He stepped back from her bed, "Until then, I want you to concentrate on getting well."

There was that look of fear again and Kaidan had to stop himself from going to her. Hackett saw it too, it must have been something in her eyes, because in the next moment he was back next to her bed, kneeling, resting his hand on hers.

"No, you're not being left alone, Kaidan will be here, and, well I've called for your brother, John. He'll meet you at the house when you're released. I want you to have the chance to get to know him. To have things be as they should have been all along."

Jane wanted to scream, she felt like she was trapped in a very small room, and the walls were closing around her. But what choice did she have? This is what she had been sent to do, and she would not let her father down. Her real father, that is.

Looking past the Admiral she found Kaidan watching her, just as he had since she had been brought here, and in spite of how she wanted to feel, she was glad that he would be staying. She didn't want to admit it, but she was afraid of being left alone with so many humans. At least he understood her, even if only a little.

"Yes sir."

The Admiral smiled and looked like he would bend forward, and kiss her on the forehead and Kaidan grimaced waiting for the reaction, but the Admiral stopped short, smoothed her hair back a final time, and turned to him. "Carry on Lieutenant, take care of her." Kaidan saluted as the Admiral took his leave.

Turning back to the bed, Jane was staring out the window, her head turned away from him, and when she spoke her voice was soft, even and he realised he liked the sound of the Turian words rolling off her tongue, he almost wished he could understand her without the translator ruining their sound.

"I've never seen mountains like that. What are they called?"

He leaned on the bed to look out the window as well. "Those are the North Shore Mountains, the Rockies are beyond them, much bigger, but you can't see them from here. Perhaps when you're better we'll make that trip."

She nodded, "The Admiral said there was a bay here too. Is there an ocean?"

"Yes, the Pacific."

She made a humming sound in her chest that caused her to cough. Leaning over her Kaidan instinctively rubbed her back and offered her a sip of water, which she accepted and leaned back.

"I've never seen an ocean." She sighed and closed her eyes, the sting of tears threatened to overcome her, she didn't want them. There was no place for tears here; it was too late for that. She had a job to do.

"What's John like? Does he look like me?"

"Well he has your hair and eyes, a trait from your mot, er' the General I suppose."

Biting on her lip Jane sighed, "Kaidan, while we're here, you can call them my mother and father; it's what the human's think they are. Let's not make this more complicated than it already is."

He wanted to chuckle at the way she said humans, but just nodded instead. "As far as what he's like, well he's your age of course, a very strong biotic. He just got out of his officer training; he'll be a Major soon I think." Jane caught the bitterness in his voice that he hadn't realised was there and smirked at him.

"I'm taking it you don't approve."

"I shouldn't say anything; I'm just a believer that everyone should have to earn what they get. Not just have things expected to happen, even if your father is an Admiral."

"Careful Lieutenant you sound Turian. In all seriousness though, as someone who is a Generals daughter, it's hard to live up to a family name. And then earn everything on your own; someone is always going to think you got it handed to you."

"You're an Admirals daughter here, remember?"

"Great." She rolled her eyes and Kaidan sighed.

Silence filled the room and Kaidan paced from the door to the window, as she dosed in and out for what seemed like hours. Her voice cut into his thoughts making him jump.

"What's wrong Kaidan, you're driving me nuts, and your boots are clicking against the ground. It's making me feel like I need to get up and drop into formation."

"I'm sorry." He sat and she closed her eyes again. But he couldn't seem to sit still and continued to fidget.

"Is that a human thing? The fidgeting I mean, honestly, just say what's on your mind, you'll feel better."

"Why do you think I need to say anything? I have been stuck in this room forever, I'm just restless."

Jane's eyes opened and she rolled her head towards him, the look and the quirk of her lips said 'bullshit'.

"I know because you're military, you've been trained to hold still, just as I have. The fidgeting indicates you have something that you're holding back."

"What the hell? Do the Turian take training in reading body language?"

She shrugged, "No, my father is really good at it though, I guess I got it from him. Now tell me what the hell is bothering you, so I can go back to sleep."

He leaned forward resting his elbows on his thighs, clasping his hands together.

"It's this," he motioned back and forth between them. "I don't understand why you're not yelling at me, why you just went along with the Admiral. I'm confused; the whole situation has me confused."

His question was answered by a sigh, so he continued.

"Why aren't you more concerned about the situation you're in? You're on Earth, you realise that the Admiral will want you to tell him things, he may be your father, but as John knows, the Alliance comes first to him. He's going to want information from you, Jane he's going to want you in the Alliance. You understand what that means right?"

She nodded and looked away from him.

"Yeah, I do."

"What? Shouldn't you be trying to tear the walls down and go home?"

She really didn't have the energy to tear any walls down even if she wanted to. "We're military Kaidan; sometimes we just shut our mouth and do what we're told. Sometimes we just have to play the game."

"What?"

But she wasn't saying anymore, so he let it go.

"Does that mean you're not going to try and kill me the second we're out of here?"

"I never said that."

His face dropped, but even though she wasn't looking at him, he could tell that she was smiling.

ooOoo

Two weeks later, Kaidan and Jane sat with the doctors as they were giving final instructions for her release. She was to take it easy and rest as much as possible, she would have to go through therapy for her back, and legs, it was going to be rough, but at least they would come to the house, and she wouldn't have to be in the damn hospital.

Exiting the car in front of what Kaidan said was the Admirals house she shivered and leaned her weight on him, her legs were weak and she wasn't able to walk without him or a cane. Hell her spine had almost been completely severed; they said she had healed well for such trauma. But her lungs weren't back to normal yet either, and the damp air wasn't helping, she coughed and Kaidan wrapped an arm around her shoulders, feeling the shiver.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah, I'm not used to the dampness, I'll be fine though, we're given acclimation training, for when we have to fight on cold," she trailed off, remembering the snow where she had fallen, her thoughts instantly on Garrus, and she had to force them out of her mind before she broke.

"Understood, I'll make sure the house is kept warm."

She laughed looking at the 'house'.

"It's huge; five of the homes I grew up in could fit in this place."

"Yeah, it's really sad when you think about the fact that the Admiral doesn't even come here often, I guess he just couldn't bring himself to get rid of it."

The voice came from behind them, Jane turned her head slightly, a man, red hair, green eyes, in civilian clothing, hands in his pockets, and bare feet with what she guessed was sand on them, was walking up behind them.

"It was my mothers; I'm really the only one who comes here anymore."

He stopped just behind her, and Kaidan helped her turn towards him.

"Well, our mothers I suppose. There isn't any easy way to do this; I'm John, your brother."

Something changed for Jane in that moment, she hadn't felt anything for the man who called himself her father, but as she stared into eyes so like her own, she felt a shift inside herself that she didn't understand or really want to.

"I'm Jane, thank you for giving me somewhere to stay."

John shrugged, "technically it's your home too."

She nodded, but didn't really understand.

John showed them to their rooms told them to make themselves comfortable, and then was gone as quickly as he had come.

Kaidan's room was attached to her own through a doorway and she surprised herself at the relief she felt, she had been so used to waking up to him in her room, she was actually a little nervous about being left alone.

The first night was quiet, and she was so tired that she fell asleep almost as soon as Kaidan helped her to bed.

The next day, she walked with the help of the cane a bit around the house, she was relegated to the first floor as there was no way she was going to attempt to climb stairs yet.

Sitting at the table that afternoon, Jane stared at the soup that she had been forced to eat since she woke up.

"Honestly, don't you think we could try something a little more solid?"

Kaidan laughed and stuck his head out of the bathroom, his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and he watched as her lip curled on the side.

"You have white stuff all over your mouth."

"Yeah, it's toothpaste, for cleaning teeth, don't Turians brush their teeth?"

"Yeah, just uh, not like that, it's weird, looks like you have some disease."

Laughing he rinsed his mouth and joined her in the breakfast nook, grabbing his coffee and toast. John had already gone out for the day so the house was quiet.

"Soon, but you know, you're going to be eating my cooking, and I'm not really able to make Turian, anything."

"At this point, I'll eat whatever you give me."

He watched her try to stand and when she wasn't able to, she flexed her back and looked frustrated. Standing he helped her from the chair and back to her bed, where she stretched out her leg and he took it in his hand, helping her bend it and flex it, as the therapist had shown them.

Watching him do this she realised his eyes were glassy, and he looked, sick.

"Are you okay Kaidan?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah I'm fine, I just have a migraine coming on, side effect of my implant."

"I didn't know you were sick."

"I'm not really, just pain sometimes, but the amp to my biotics is worth it, in the end."

She mulled this over before nodding, and he smiled, she understood sacrifice and he wondered how well.

She frowned and moved her legs away from him, looking towards the door.

"You know, I think John is having a harder time with this, than I am."

He wanted to say, it was because he was spoiled, but kept his mouth shut on that point.

"Yeah, he'll be okay, just give him time."

She nodded, and he watched her study him for a moment.

"You realise this is insane right? You, helping me like this. You know I would have killed you right?"

He had gotten used to Jane's brutal honesty and didn't even flinch.

"Yeah, I know, but that was then. We've all had to do things in the war that we didn't want to."

She finally looked away from him, her voice small, controlled.

"You're talking about Nihlus, right?"

"Yeah, I didn't know his name at the time though."

Squeezing her eyes shut she had to force herself to swallow the venom she felt, before she could speak.

"I understand, it's nothing I wouldn't have done in your place."

"I know this is war Jane, but it almost happened again, not by me, but hell you almost died because of it."

Turning back to him her eyes were searching his and he looked away, but she reached forward and firmly turned his face back to hers.

"Why didn't you take the shot? I saw you, you were in position first."

"I couldn't, I felt like I knew him, I couldn't just shoot him."

"Right, I know what you mean." He knew by the look in her eyes that she was talking about that day she could have easily ended his life before she ran away. "But we play the game, right Kaidan?"

"I'm not so sure anymore, sometimes the way we act, no matter our orders, is more important. We need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror every day and say that we did the best we could, with what we had. I used to be able to say that, but with the information I have now, I don't know anymore. I'm not sure any of us even knows why we're fighting. But there it is, like you said, the game."

The silenced folded around them and he knew she was done talking. He stood and covered her legs with the blanket at the bottom of the bed and turned to go to his room.

"I'm sorry I'm so honest Kaidan, I know you're not used to it. I, have a lot to learn, about everything."

He wanted to tell her not to change a thing, but the words were stuck behind the lump in his throat.

ooOoo

The coughing woke him up, Jane, she sounded like she couldn't breathe. Running into her room, she was doubled over, coughing and gasping for breath.

Easing her back, he removed her hand from her mouth and took the inhaler the doctor had given them. "Jane, I need you to calm your breathing, enough to inhale this, think about taking a shot, slow your breath, your heart."

She did so and inhaled the medicine and the coughing eased. Grabbing a tissue he dabbed at the blood on her lips and hands.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, just go back to sleep, okay?"

When she had fallen back to sleep, Kaidan was there. But when she awoke he was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone back to his room.

Not wanting to wake him up again she grabbed the cane next to the bed and stiffly climbed out.

As she was trying to loosen up her legs, she found Kaidan, on bottom deck that lead out to the beach; he was sitting looking out at the water. She recognised what he was drinking by the smell.

"Hey, you think I could have coffee yet?" He jumped at her voice and spilled the coffee he was holding on his shirt, causing him to cuss and jump yet again.

She stifled a laugh as he wiped at his shirt.

"You shouldn't be up on your own, you should have called for me."

She shrugged and eased herself into the chair next to him, her back screaming at her as she did so.

"It really is beautiful here. I just wish it wasn't so cold."

Kaidan watched as she stared out at the water, it was beautiful here, but that beauty wasn't what had him distracted at the moment.

"Yeah, and you haven't even seen winter yet."

"Are you telling me it gets colder?"

"Yup, and it rains, a lot. But it's pretty in its own way."

"Doesn't sound pretty, sounds wet, and," she shivered at the thought and he laughed pulling the quilt from the back of the chair and wrapping it around her shoulders. Her hand caught his as he was about to pull back, her eyes were deep green pools that were threatening to drown him as they washed over his face.

"Thank you, even if you're just playing the game the Admiral tells you to, thank you."

She was trying to make a joke, but he didn't laugh, leaning in towards her lips he hovered just above them, she didn't pull back but he didn't kiss her, just whispered.

"I'm starting to think this may be your game Jane, nothing is as it should be, I don't understand your calm acceptance, and I feel like there is more that you're not telling me. So, I ask you, am I going to just be part of your game?" his voice was harsh, not angry, but confused. He didn't understand her, or what she was playing at. Was this all part of some larger plot, could he trust her like he wanted to? Would she tell him everything?

The only answer he received to his question or any of his thoughts, was the call of a seagull above them, the gentle splash of the bay water against the rocky sand and a low harmonic laugh that caused a small cough, as she took his coffee cup and leaned away from him, taking a drink and staring out at the water, her eyes anywhere but on him.

ooOoo

**We might have a little Florence Nightingale syndrome going on here. ;)**

**Hmm that was quite long. **

**Thanks everyone for your wonderful reviews and comments. Once again, I hope you keep enjoying this as much as I am.**

**Until next time. ^.^**


	15. A Rock And A Hard Place

**Alright, I don't normally do this, but after reading, and rereading this chapter over twenty times, and having my friend almost Krogan charge me, I decided I just didn't like it, and it had to change.**

**It just didn't fit with what I had planned for Jane or anyone actually, so I'm taking a Mulligan on it. :P**

**Don't hurt me too much. Okay maybe just a little bit, cause, well, I like it like that. ;)**

**ooOoo**

Jane groaned as she eased out of bed, her back was killing her, but she was sick of lying around. She was determined to walk without anyone's help and the only way she knew how to do that, was exercises. The house was quiet, and she was determined to use the exercise room she had seen. She was most of the way through a light workout when the door to the exercise room opened and someone cleared their throat.

"Really, you take three shots to the back, and the first chance you get, you workout? God, Turians really do have issues." John leaned against the door frame watching her. She paused, her left brow arching slightly.

"Well, I was wondering if you were ever going to show up. Honestly it feels like you've been avoiding me. As far as having issues, I wouldn't call wanting my back and legs in working order as having issues. That's more what it sounds like your father and you have. Yeah, Kaidan talks a lot, if you let him ramble."

Moving into the room and sitting on a workoutbench, John watched her continue her lifts. "Yeah, he has a tendency to talk too much, he normally does it when he's nervous, you know, around a girl he likes."

Setting the weight down Jane turned towards John as she walked to the chin-up bar.

"You really should take it easy." he said as he eyed her grabbing the bar.

"No, I shouldn't, I have a lot of things on my mind, John and this is the one thing I can do that helps me figure shit out. Well, I'd rather be at a shooting range, but I'll take this for now."

"As for my issues with our father," he chuckled as Jane grimaced at the term. "He's an ass; he's only concerned with getting his way, after our mother left with you he was never the same. After the peace summit, everyone says something changed with him. The war became personal. No one talks about it around him, but I've heard rumours, things like, our mother had Turian sympathies and even that she was having an affair with one. Ever since, he's been unwilling to even entertain the thought of settling this without more bloodshed."

"And you don't agree with him?" Jane groaned as she finished ten chin-ups and let herself drop to the floor. Spirits, it was going to take a lot to get back to where she was.

"No, I don't agree with him. Like I said, he's an ass, and my whole life he's tried making me just how he wants me. Now all he can talk about is you, like you're some sort of prize that he's won. I think he hopes it will hurt the Turians to have lost you."

Grabbing a towel, Jane sat across from him drying the sweat from her face.

"Well, to be honest, he didn't hurt anyone. After Kaidan captured me the first time, this was all inevitable."

"What? You were captured before? How long ago, did the Admiral know?"

"Oh yeah, he knew, spirits that was over a year ago."

"That bastard, he didn't even tell me. See what I told you, he keeps everything under his thumb."

They sat in silence for a moment as John seemed to be mulling the situation over.

"I don't get it, if they knew about you," Holding up her hand, Jane cut him off.

"I know what you're thinking, and they did send people after me. Kaidan was looking for me; they even tried to take me at the Academy I almost lost my best friend in that one."

"So if you knew they were looking for you, how did you get caught?"

Shrugging, Jane stared at her hands; it never even accrued to her that she could lie to him.

"I wanted to get caught."

The statement was so simple, yet it caught John off guard. "What do you mean you 'wanted' to get caught?" He used his fingers to do emphasize the point.

"I didn't have a lot of choices, I had the Turians telling me to come to the Alliance, and I had Kaidan and his team causing issues for our front lines, not to mention I didn't want to take a chance that they would try another stunt like the Academy again. So, here I am."

John's eyes narrowed on her as he thought about that.

"So, what's the point of you being here? I'm confused, were you trying to get killed?"

"Well, first off I hadn't meant to be shot, but your Lieutenant Vega fired without checking his shot. Second, I'm here, to end this if I can, and go home."

"Whoa, wait a second, are you kidding me? My father may be an ass, but I don't completely disagree with him about the Turians, they started this mess. They killed our mother, Jane and then took you."

"First off, John they didn't kill our mother as a personal attack against anyone, this is war. Just like, Kaidan didn't kill my friend Nihlus, just to get at me. Though, I thought that way for awhile, even tried to kill him over it. And as far as taking me, they could have killed me, they didn't. In fact my father adopted me because he cared about what happened to me. End of story."

"I didn't know Kaidan had killed someone you knew, sorry. But the point remains, you can't be sure that they didn't know whose daughter you were."

Waving off his sympathy, Jane sighed and walked to the mat against the wall to stretch out.

"At this point it doesn't matter, I'm going to figure out how to stop this war, one way or another."

"Right, so you can go home." John watched her grimace as she stretched, and frowned in thought. "You know, this could be your home. I've always wondered about you, even though I thought you were dead, what it would have been like, you know, growing up with you."

Jane stopped and stared at him, his green eyes, reflecting her own.

"I forget you've known you had a sister your entire life, I only just found out about you a year ago. I don't know what things would have been like, but if we can end this war, just because I live somewhere else, won't mean we can't be brother and sister. I'd like to get to know you."

Jane watched as his eyes darkened and he suddenly looked upset.

"Why did you tell me this, Jane? I could tell the Admiral what you're about and then you'd have to stay here."

Jane didn't flinch as he tossed the threat at her; she merely nodded and replied calmly. "Yes, you could but it isn't anything I won't tell him myself at some point. But if you feel you must."

She watched as the anger drained from his face, as quickly as it had come. "No, he doesn't deserve for me to tell him anything. But why would you tell him?"

"There isn't anything to gain by not telling him."

Once again it was a simple answer that she didn't expand on, and John was shocked that she seemed so much like the Turians he had heard about.

"Can I ask you something, Jane?"

She nodded and went back to stretching.

"Were they good to you? The one you call father, was he?"

"Yeah, he was, he taught me everything I know and he loves me. Not everyone was as good as him, but I survived, and I think I'm better off for it."

"The Admiral shipped me off to military school as soon as he could get rid of me, where of course I was always the Admirals kid, bought me special treatment from some and sound beatings from others. I wonder if it would have been different with you and mom still around."

"I don't know if it would have been different, John. I try not to deal in what ifs. I was sent away too, but you have to remember we're sent away at fifteen to the Academy, but it's an honour and duty, not our parents trying to get rid of us. As for the treatment, maybe we just learned to handle it differently."

Jane finished and stood and found water in the small fridge, leaning back against the wall she took a long drink, watching John war with some inner emotion.

"You know if you tell him what you're planning, and people find out, they'll say the same things about you, that they do our mother. You're going to be the Turian sympathiser, hell they'll probably make up a story about you having a Turian lover."

Jane laughed inhaling her water and laughed and coughed until it was hard to breath.

"Something I said funny?"

"Yeah, it's just that they wouldn't have to make anything up. I have a mate; well he's not really my mate yet, not officially anyways. More what you would call a boyfriend?"

John stared at her like she had sprouted another head. "I'm sorry, what? You're dating a Turian, does that work? They allow that?" He was sputtering and stuttering and she couldn't help it, she broke down laughing again.

"Well it's not like it's been done before, you know, I'm the first human to have even gone through the Academy too."

"So is it true about our mother?" The question caused them both to drop silent, before Jane finally shrugged.

"If it is, I was never told about it."

He nodded and there was a noise in the doorway.

"What the hell are you two doing? John, you can't let her work out, God, she was just shot."

"Kaidan, relax you're not her mother." John snorted in his direction before turning back to Jane.

"Listen to him, Kaidan I know my limits." Jane said as she waved his words away.

"Yeah sure, says the lady who jumped in front of bullets, with her back, without her biotic shield up."

"That was one time, I wasn't really thinking of anything but Garrus at that moment."

John lifted his eyebrow and grinned in a gesture that reminded her of, well, her.

"That's him isn't it, your unofficially, official, Mate er' boyfriend. And you almost died to save him. Hell that's good enough for me; I'll help you with the Admiral. It's not going to be easy, but if you're up for it, so am I."

"What are you two talking about?" Kaidan looked from one to the other, watching their eyes meet and the shared smile. What the hell had happened while he was asleep?

"Start the coffee Alenko, and we'll brief you on the situation, we're going to need you for this one." It was said in a tone that Jane thought sounded like a mock imitation of the Admiral and she laughed as she followed them from the room.

ooOoo

"You're planning on what?" Kaidan was gripping his coffee cup a little more tightly than he had intended and John pointed at his hand.

"You're going a little white there Lieutenant."

"Well pardon me if the idea of telling the Admiral that his children are going to attempt to end the war, so his daughter can run back off to her Turian boyfriend, but still make it back for Christmas and to visit her brother, sounds a little like career ending suicide."

Kaidan had known Jane was up to something, but the magnitude of what they were talking about was insane. Everyone knew that the Admiral was not interested in ending this war with anything less than a decisive victory. Which most figured meant the full retreat of the Turians from every planet the Admiral had 'claimed' for humanity and a personal apology for years of aggression against the Alliance from the Turian Hierarchy. Which everyone also knew, was not happening any time soon.

Telling Jane and John this she laughed.

"He's crazy, we would never agree to that. Our military is still the largest in the Galaxy and the Council is on our side."

"Of course they are they won't even talk to our human ambassadors until there is an end to the war." Kaidan snorted, downed his coffee and poured another cup.

"See, yet another reason to end this. The Alliance can't survive being cut off from the rest of council space."

"We've managed so far." Kaidan knew he was being stubborn but he didn't understand why John was just going along with this.

"I won't do this, it's insane, and you're going to end up thrown in the brig, both of you."

"Kaidan, I've tried to forgive what happened with Nihlus, because I understand, this is war, and you had orders. But by what you said, with the information you have now, is this war really worth it? Especially if this has become the Admirals personal war, tell me, what's the point of losing friends, family to this?"

Rubbing his temples Kaidan sighed and leaned forward on the table. "Yeah, I hear what you're saying. But, Jane don't you think you could find a way to stay here? With us, we could solve this without getting the Admiral worked up. You and I, we can figure this out." Reaching out his hand he took hers and squeezed it gently, Jane gave him a sideways look, but didn't say anything.

John on the other hand, looked between the two and screwed up his face to something bordering on disgust. "Ew, gross no," Kaidan dropped Jane's hand and turned towards John.

"You're not helping anything."

"Sure I am, I'm helping Jane not get drooled on, by you. We both know how you are when you like a girl." Kaidan made to interrupt but John didn't stop.

"There was this girl at biotic normal school, real pretty, really rich. Kaidan here was so in love with her, it was disgusting, like drooling disgusting. Mr. Macho here lost his temper one day and flipped the table we were working at. Broke Rhana's friends arm, freaked Rhana out. I don't think she ever talked to you again. Did she?" John was trying to make light of the situation, a joke Jane figured, but by the look on Kaidans face, he wasn't taking it that way.

"John that really isn't helping," Jane sighed at John, holding up a finger at him and glaring for him to be quiet. She then leaned towards Kaidan, laying her hand on his arm.

"Listen, Kaidan we've come a long way since that first time we met, at least now I'm not trying to shoot you. But I have a boyfriend."

"I thought Nihlus was your boyfriend, I thought that's why you took it so hard; I figured Garrus was just your platoon leader."

Slowing her breathing and controlling her anger, Jane started again slowly.

"As John said when you came in, he's my boyfriend, but so was Nihlus, just before that. It's complicated. Just go with that, I'm complicated and so is my life, you don't want to be a part of that."

Kaidan nodded, but stored away that info in the back of his mind, not quite sure he was willing to just let her walk out of his life. But one thing he was sure about was that he was going to help, even if it was so he could sleep at night.

"Okay, I'm in. I hope you two have a plan."

ooOoo

"Jane, are you around?" John shouted to the entire house before he had even closed the door.

"Spirits, yes, I'm here, no need to shout. My hearing is quite good, thank you."

"I've got to ask, what the hell is Spirits?" John sat a few packages down and turned back towards her.

"Well, the best I can compare it to is when you or Kaidan says 'God'."

"Ah, it's like, religious stuff for Turians."

Jane rolled her eyes but shrugged.

"Sure I guess it's something like that. Please tell me that's not why you yelled for me."

"Oh shit, no I went shopping, I grabbed you a few things, pants, t-shirts, shoes. I figured you're dying to head out running, didn't have to guess at your size, it's amazing the records the hospital keeps on that stuff."

"How did you, no you know what, I don't want to know."

John smiled and continued anyways. "I have a girlfriend that works there." He ran a hand through his short red hair and grinned.

"Yeah, I'm guessing she's just one of many?"

"Yeah, Admirals son, it has its perks."

"Yeah, like I said, didn't want to know."

"See how much fun it would have been to grow up with me?" John handed her the bags and moved past her towards the kitchen. "My real girlfriend is coming for Supper."

Frowning, Jane sat the bags to the side and joined him by the back deck.

"I'm not so sure tonight's the best night, Kaidan's cooking again. Maybe we should order something?"

"It's okay, she's used to him. Kaidan spent a lot of time with me at school. You know funny thing, you might have ended up dating him if you would have grown up here."

Jane shrugged it off, "Yeah, sure maybe. But I didn't grow up here."

"Yeah I know, I was just thinking of how different everything would be."

Jane didn't respond just stared out towards the bay as John seemed lost in thought. They stood there like that for a bit, until Kaidan open the fridge and they both jumped out of their shared daze.

"Geez, sorry don't shoot, I'm just setting out the steak and stuff for dinner. Anyone want a beer?"

John nodded and Kaidan tossed him a beer, "Jane, you want?"

"No, thank you though."

"Oh hey, I spoke to our father today."

"Oh? And what did he have to say?"

"He's out on manoeuvres now. They saw some action recently."

Jane held her breath and John shook his head.

"No, I don't know where or with what Turian forces, I'm sorry, Jane."

"That's okay, did he say anything else?"

"He'll be back in Vancouver in three weeks, he wants to see us. Are we ready for that?"

"We will be."

Kaidan sighed and leaned back against the fridge, taking a long slow draw from his beer before adding.

"We had better be, it might not go so well."

"If there is one thing I know how to do, Kaidan. It's make my choices, and deal with the consequences."

Kaidan gave Jane a look John knew all too well and quickly stepped between them, clapped his hands and smiled.

"So, how about that steak, Alenko, Ashley is going to be here soon, we B-B-Qing or what?"

ooOoo

Kaidan was 'grilling' on the deck as Jane slipped on the shoes John had picked up for her. They were extremely light and she tested them for a few steps on the sand, and then turned back towards the deck, looking over Kaidan's shoulder at the grill.

"They're really light, it's like there isn't anything on my feet."

Waving her away with the spatula, he nodded. "Yeah, I think that's the point. If you're going for a run, make it short. Ashley is going to be here soon, and supper is in about an hour."

Jane nodded stepped off the deck and headed down the beach. The workouts had helped, she had rebuilt her strength, but she still had a limp, it wasn't really painful, just the way it had healed and the therapist that had come to the house wasn't sure if it would ever fully go away.

Jane stopped just in front of the house when she got back, watching a couple, walking hand in hand down the beach. They had a dog with them. John had one; it came to the house with him. She still thought they looked like fuzzy Varren, well with smaller teeth.

For some reason the sight made her stomach twist and her heart hurt. She stared up at the sky and sighed. She missed Garrus, the warmth of him as she leaned against his chest, the rumble as he laughed , and how he always smelled of gun oil. She felt the tears welling up behind her eyes and choked them down. Closing her eyes, her hands firmly on her waist she put the pain where it belonged and let it build her resolve, her resolve to get home, to Garrus.

Kaidan watched Jane from the deck, the way the setting sun was reflecting off her hair took his breath away, and he had almost moved towards her, but then she had turned towards the deck and he stopped cold, her eyes were closed and he recognised that look. He had felt that way more than once. She was in pain, and it wasn't the physical kind.

As she approached the deck he handed her a beer.

"You look like you could use one."

She nodded, and took a drink, her face screwing up as she swallowed.

"Ugh, you wouldn't be trying to poison me, would you?"

"Hah, you'll get used it. It helps, trust me."

She nodded a silent thank you and took another drink.

ooOoo

Supper was awkward, for lack of a better word.

John's girlfriend, one Ashley Williams, didn't say much at first, after the first introductions, and she had to ask three times if she was really speaking Turian, or if they were just screwing with her. Too bad it didn't just stop there.

"So, you were really raised by those Turian bastards?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah um, I'm not really sure how to answer that question."

John rolled his eyes and nudged Ashley, "I explained this all to you already."

"Yeah, but to be honest I thought you were messing with me, John."

"Why would I lie to you about my sister?"

"You know how I feel about the Turians." Ashley dropped her fork with a clatter and glared at John.

"Oh God, you're still going on about that? That was years ago, and it's not quite the big deal you make it out to be."

Jane watched as Ashley glared at John, Jane turned a questioning glance towards Kaidan who was working on another beer and rolled his eyes at them, giving Jane a shrug.

"I didn't mean to start a fight."

John folded his arms over his chest and sighed.

"Don't worry about it she just needs to get over this."

Jane opened her mouth and Kaidan gave her the, don't do it look, but it was too late, the words were already out.

"Get over what?"

Ashley glared at her and John leaned forward laying a hand on her arm.

"Ashley's grandfather was General Williams he was the commander at Shanxi."

Jane nodded and spoke without thinking, "Sure, Shanxi, I knew I recognised your name, that was the first human colony we occupied."

Ashley looked like she was going to throw herself across the table at her, but John eased her back.

"Right, he was the first man to ever surrender to an Alien force. Let's just say the Alliance has been less than kind to her family since then. In fact, our father hates that we're dating."

"Well, he did surrender. We'd never do that, we fight until the last; we don't give up posts like that. They have to be taken from the last standing Turian. Though we will pull back to give time for an airstrike."

"Son-of-a-bitch," before John could stop her, Ashley had launched herself at Jane. Jane deflected her first attack and they squared off in the kitchen.

Jane fell into a ready stance almost instantly and Ashley wasted no time in attacking her. It was obvious to Jane that Ashley had extensive training. Her movements were angry but her hand to hand was practiced and well controlled. Jane avoided most of her blows, choosing to deflect and absorb and not full out attack. Ashley was frustrated and lunged for her again, Jane moved to the side and tossed her to the ground, falling back rather than advancing, like her training told her to.

"Turian bitch," Ashley hopped up grabbed her things and rushed for the door, letting it slam behind her.

"John, I'm sorry."

Shaking his head, John sat back down at the table and finished his beer.

"Hey at least it wasn't my cooking." Kaidan gave a weak chuckled and drained his beer.

"I should have known better, Jane it's not your fault. But you see what I mean now, it's not just going to be her, a lot of people are going to feel that same way. And talking about things like Shanxi, like you just did isn't going to help."

"Duly noted, but it is the truth."

"Yeah but sometimes it doesn't need to be said."

Jane held up her hands and nodded. "Okay, point taken."

"So, John over under on how fast it takes Ashley to tell anyone who'll listen, about what just happened," Kaidan asked as he stuck his head into the fridge and pulled out another beer.

"Bum odds, but you are right, she's going to talk."

Jane gave them a wide-eyed look that meant she had no idea what they meant and John sighed.

"I don't know what it means; it depends on who she tells and what they do with that information. I'm sure most high-ranking officials know, but what the press will do, is anyone's guess."

"Well we already knew that a lot of people wouldn't like me, I'm used to that. So what does it change?"

Rolling his eyes at her John shrugged. "Nothing I guess, we carry on as planned, when the Admiral get's here, we'll explain the situation. I vote you do the talking." He chuckled and Jane nodded.

"I'm glad you two are so relaxed about this. Forgive me if I'm not as confident that any of this is going to go smoothly." Kaidan said as he leaned forward, his head in his hand.

"Oh what's the worst he can do?" John should have left well enough alone, because some things are best left unsaid.

ooOoo

John had been right, it didn't take long for the rumours to spread and people to start talking, everyone knew where the Admirals house was, and it was only a matter of time before a few reporters started showing up at their door, looking for the 'Turian'. John and Kaidan had done their best to deflect them, but it didn't stop the talking. The nightly news was tossing around things about the Admiral harboring his daughter who was now a Turian terrorist.

"Where the hell did they get this crap? You don't think Ashley told them that?" Kaidan stood and clicked the vid screen off.

"No, I'm sure she just gave them the basics and they filled in the rest." John was rubbing his head and Jane frowned.

"Your implant bothering you too?"

He nodded and looked up at her. "Do you have one?"

"An implant you mean? No, we used Red Sand to enhance my Biotics."

"Good God, you didn't? That crap is addicting, not to mention the long-term effects on your body." Kaidan gasped as John just stared at her.

"You're lucky you were out for so long at the hospital, or you'd be having some nasty withdrawal symptoms. I wonder if we can't get you fitted with the new L3 implant. Shit, what the hell, am I saying; let's take care of one issue at a time, first being the Admiral. He's back today. We're to meet him at the base." John said, as he stood and motioned towards the door.

ooOoo

The short trip to the base felt like a bank robbery gone wrong, they were trying to ditch press the whole way, only once on base were they able to slow down.

The Admiral was waiting for them on the quad and led them to his office. The set of his jaw, and the way he held his hands behind his back, spoke volumes more to Jane, than the forced greeting and fake smile plastered on his face.

"So, I see you three have been busy. I'm not sure I should be surprised. Considering that girlfriend of yours was involved John. Didn't I tell you?"

"Yes sir." John already looked defeated and Jane groaned inwardly, as Hackett turned towards her.

"I hear you recovered quite well, Jane. A slight limp but, well none of us comes away from war, unscathed." He brushed a finger across the scar on his face, and Jane got the feeling there was more to that statement, but he just turned from them and began to pace.

"So, what is that couldn't wait John?"

John glared at his father and folded his arms over his chest. "We've been talking father."

"Oh you have? I assume you mean, Jane and yourself."

John's face became red at his father's tone and Jane stepped forward pulling herself to attention.

"We have sir; I think you should know my intentions to being here."

Hackett eyed her for a moment before turning his back to her, a large vid screen in front of them clicked on.

"Yes, and those would be?"

"An end to this war sir, I know if we work together, with my knowledge and your pull, we can end this so everyone can live in peace."

Jane would have sworn she heard the Admiral snort, but he didn't turn back to her.

"Do you know where I just was?"

She frowned, "No sir."

"I was overseeing an operation to retake the base where you escaped from Kaidan the first time, you remember. Wiped out an entire platoon of Turians, including a sniper squad, you were a sniper I believe?"

Jane froze, oh spirits, please let it have been any sniper group but Garrus'. She was so shocked she couldn't manage anything but a weak nod. Even though he wasn't looking at her, she could tell what he had said had the effect he wanted, the slight lift to his shoulders as he rocked forward on his feet, his hands still held firmly behind his back.

"I had hoped that we could do this without threats, Jane. But it seems the traits of your mother run more deeply in you than I had thought."

A dreadnought flashed on the screen and Hackett spun to where she was still standing at attention, John and Kaidan just behind her.

"Do you recognise this ship?"

Jane's eyes scanned the vid screen and she nodded. "Yes, that is the Dreadnought Talon."

"And you know who serves on this ship currently?"

Jane swallowed the dry lump in her throat before answering. "No, sir, I don't."

"Your father," the word was almost spit at her and she had to concentrate to keep her face calm. "And his troops, which now includes Sadria Victus, do you know why I'm asking?"

"No sir, I don't." Her heart was pounding so hard she could barely breathe.

"I'm asking because I want to know how much they matter to you, how about everyone here, or here?" The screen changed first to the Academy and then to her home colony on Randiv. She gasped and Hacketts lips tilted in a smile.

"I see, they do matter, so, a full attack on any of them would hurt you?"

"Sir, you wouldn't, that colony is nothing but families, my family is there, they aren't military, there isn't even really a military presence there."

"I'm aware of that, Jane. The point of this exercise, it to show you what I am willing to do, to get what I want, I wanted no doubt in your mind, that I will do it. Don't make me give you an example."

Jane's face was passive again as she glared at the man before her. "What is it you want?"

"The same thing you do, an end to the war, just I want something first." He paused and leaned towards her. "I want General Victus, dead, and I want you to do it."

"What the hell are you talking about? You want him dead? How is that going to end the war?" Jane couldn't help it, she was sputtering and stuttering, and her faltered calm caused the Admiral to smile again.

"Think of it as his life, for all of theirs. Until he's dead, I won't even think about entertaining peace talks. I'll give you some time to think about it, how many lives would be saved, not just saved from my strikes, but over the long haul."

"I don't understand, why Victus? What the hell does he have to do with this?"

"Let's just say, I have unfinished business with him," his finger flicked over the scar again and it started to click. The peace summit, Jane's mother, was Victus the Turian everyone thought she had an affair with? Hell, had she? She knew Victus's wife was killed shortly after his children were born, the timeline fit. And he had been the one to find her. Shit, Jane's head felt light and the world began to spin, but she held her ground.

"I see we understand each other, as I said, I'll give you some time to think about this. You're dismissed; take Alenko and my son with you. I'll talk to the press. Oh, and Jane, I'd really think about not trying to screw with me, or trying to contact any of your Turian family. Because I do not make idle threats, it would be such a shame you know, your little sister is getting so big."

With that he waved them out of his office, Jane stumbled into the hall in a daze and she wasn't sure how they made it back to the car or back to the house. The press was nowhere to be found. Yet someone on the road did yell at them as they exited the car, calling her a Turian Whore. She didn't care, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

Kaidan was the first to speak; he laid a hand on Jane's shoulder and gave it a slight shake. "You don't think the sniper squad he was talking about was Garrus', do you?"

"I don't know, I have to hope not, but I can't think about that right now, there isn't anything I can do about it. I have to stop what I can, which is the destruction of my home, and the Academy and my father. Shit." Tilting her head back against the wall she tried to shove the thoughts of the people in her life that she loved out of her head, so she could focus on a plan.

"God, I never knew he was capable of something like this, I mean I knew he always says, 'at any cost', but I never thought it would be something like this. Not to us. What are we going to do, Jane?"

Jane didn't answer John, and Kaidan spoke up.

"I don't see a lot of options here. We're going to have to do as he says, or a lot of innocent people die."

Jane knew Kaidan was right, but she couldn't bring herself to think of what that would mean. The thought of walking into the Admirals office, and killing him drifted though her thoughts, but both options lead to the same place.

Even if she did that, and it ended the war, either way, she'd never be able to go home.


	16. Tangled Webs

Jane heard the intercom beep, but she ignored it and stepped out the door; she wasn't ready to talk to the Admiral yet. She was afraid she'd do something that would wind up with her sitting in an Alliance prison for the remainder of her life, hell if she wasn't just killed outright.

It was raining, again, and not a nice, warm, soft rain. No this was a punishing rain that fell in sheets, that soaked and chilled you down to the bone, and Jane felt like she would never be warm again.

The water was cascading over her, soaking her; she shivered once and tapped the visor at her temple.

Garrus' present, the only thing she really had left of home, her thumb drifted over the carved inscription. 'Garrus & Jane; it had seemed silly at the time, overly simple. But now it was so important, everything about it; it had survived with her. That had to mean something, right?

Listening to the same music that Garrus had put on it the day he had given it to her, helped. It was his music, and it kept her heart beating, kept her breath steady. Kept her pushing forward, hoping and praying that he was still alive, knowing that if he was, he was out there listening to this same music, hoping and praying for her, and that kept her going. Even as her world fell apart around her, crushed beneath the boots of some arrogant ass that had the gall to call himself her father, it gave her hope, that some way, somehow, she would see him again.

Jane's tears blended with the rain, her choked sobs were drowned out by the wind. She finished her jog the same as she did every day, the day's with the rain were better. Not many people were out on the beach then, and she didn't have to put up with the stares and slurs.

"Jane, are you listening to me, Jane seriously come inside. I know you say your leg is fine, but you compensate a lot when you jog, you know what the doctors said, your cartilage can only take so much, and you'll need surgery again."

Kaidan was by her side in the rain, where had he come from?

"What, sorry I wasn't really all here." Jane tried to focus her eyes on Kaidan, but her thoughts were half a Galaxy away.

"I said, I know you think you're fine, but your leg," Kaidan began again but before he could finish Jane shook her head.

"Is none of your concern, Kaidan you heard the doctors. My leg isn't going to get better."

Kaidan watched as she folded her arms over her chest she seemed distracted, like she wasn't really talking to him, just at him.

The rain had completely soaked her, and the water running over her eyelashes and lips was distracting, yet there was something off about her face. Not counting that damn visor she had taken to wearing again, even though they were nowhere near a battlefield.

"Damn it, Jane I know that, but causing yourself pain over it isn't going to help. You're a sniper and biotic, if you just kept your workouts light your other skills would take over, there is no point to hurting yourself."

That snapped her back; it wasn't her leg that was really in pain, it was the compensation she had to make because of the limp. But Kaidan even mentioning it was pissing her off. Without thinking she took a step towards him, the water almost blinding her as she pointed a finger at his chest.

"Stow it, Kaidan. Your opinion on what I do is not needed or wanted. This is the only thing that makes sense right now. The pain reminds me that I'm alive, it's the only fucking thing I have in the Galaxy. So back off and take your pity and concern somewhere else, while I figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do."

He didn't move as she stopped her rant, but as she made to pull away from him, raising her hand to tap her visor his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back towards him. He was soaked now as well and as they stood together in the pounding rain he could see the red tracks of tears down her face. But her tears didn't stop him, "I'm sick of this, Jane you damn well know you don't have to do this alone. We can help you, I want to help you. Don't push me away. Let me help."

"I don't want your help, Kaidan. I want you to leave me alone."

"God, are you always this infuriating?" Dropping her wrist he stepped back from her, but she was just standing there, staring at him. He did a quick sweep from bottom to top; she wore workout clothes that clung to her in their wet state, doing things to her curves that sent a very warm thrill through him, even though he was freezing. That damn visor was firmly in place and his eyes settled on her face and he realised what had thrown him off. She was wearing the blue Turian paint, the kind that marked her colony. Last time he had seen it was at the hospital before they had taken her for surgery.

She looked deflated now that the anger seemed to be seeping out of her. And he watched her suppress a shiver. Taking a chance he stepped back towards her and lifted his hand, running his fingertips over the paint. It seemed to be an oil base the water beaded on it, and he rubbed his fingers together as he let his hand drop back to his side.

"You know you shouldn't wear that outside the house. It's bad enough out here. Even though the Admiral talked to them, it hasn't been enough; someone will shoot you if they see this. And what's with the stupid visor?" He gestured towards her face.

He watched her normally stoic face break, the strongest girl he had ever met, the girl whose honesty and loyalty was second to none, broke. It looked like the rain was pounding her into the sand as she sunk to her knees. Kaidan knelt with her and instinctively wrapped his arms around her, she tried to pull away, but he felt her give in as the sobs wracked through her chest and her hands went to her face. Her next words were muffled but he could just make them out over the rain and wind.

"It's all I have left of him."

Oh shit, he'd done it now, figures it was something that was tied to Garrus. God you just keep shooting yourself in the foot with this girl Alenko. He wanted to groan, but kept silent as she pushed back from him.

"As for the markings, don't worry, I won't let anyone else see them."

It was said with a spite that caught Kaidan off guard and sent him right back to being angry with her.

"Don't yell at me, I care about you, I'm trying to help. But hiding for three weeks, and pitying yourself isn't going to help. We need to figure out a plan. Let me help you."

She stood looking down at him, the rain had made her eyelashes into dark spikes against her face, and her tears had changed her eyes into liquid pools of green fire. As he watched her jaw set, he saw the wall drop down behind that fire, she wasn't listening anymore. She had gone from one extreme to the other and was lost to him until she calmed down.

She spun away from him and he let her go, letting the rain wash over him, his own tears lost to the storm.

ooOoo

John tapped on Kaidan's door, he had been out that morning, but when he had arrived home all he had found was wet sandy footprints all over the house and silence. Not just any silence, but the kind that screams, "Something bad just happened" and he wasn't about to ask Jane.

Kaidan grunted something that sounded like come in and John eased his way into the room, finding Kaidan face first, soaking wet on top of his bed.

"Really, your bed will need changed you know, and there is sand and water all over the house. The housekeeper doesn't come until Thursday."

Kaidan grunted again and rolled to his side. "Did you really come up here to complain about sand?"

The tone in his voice caused John's eyebrow to arch and he moved to the chair in the corner and sat down, eyeing the door that lead to Jane's room.

"No, it was just an observation really. One that I'm sure is connected to a much larger issue. Please tell me you didn't go professing your love or something equally ridiculous."

With a roll of his eyes and another groan Kaidan was face first into the bed again, his voice muffled as he shouted.

"No, I can't even get the chance because she's so, so damn frustrating, she's making me insane. We're stuck here. She won't share a plan with us. She's just, just," he was stuttering and slammed his fist down next to him on the bed and sat up turning his head towards John. "You know?"

"Yeah I get it; same old, Kaidan you want her to need you. Unfortunately, that girl in there doesn't need you. Well, not in the way you want her to. Forget it, I can tell by that look in your eye you're already gone. As far as the plan is concerned, we had all better know soon. My father is requesting our presence tomorrow."

John watched Kaidan's eyes dart towards Jane's door and he groaned. "That's what I mean; you're looking over there like you want to swoop in and pick her up and protect her."

"I got kind of used to her needing me when she was sick. She wasn't angry with me then. Now, she looks at me like I'm the enemy, same as before."

"Well hell, Kaidan you kind of are the enemy. Don't look at me like that, I'm just saying. Speaking of which," John motioned towards the door. "Let's go get her and see if we can't get you shot at again."

John winked at him but Kaidan didn't return the levity. Mostly because he had the sneaking suspicion that if she could have shot him earlier, she would have, without thinking twice.

ooOoo

"So, what's the plan?" John sat across from Jane in the front room, she had a faraway look to her and he waved a hand in front of her face.

"Earth to Jane, come in Jane. Please report to the sol system."

Taking a deep breath, Jane stood and clasped her hands behind her back.

"I'm sorry for the last few weeks, I let myself slip. I'm okay, I understand what needs done."

John nodded and rubbed his hands together. "Alright then, what's the plan?"

"There really isn't one, John. We do as the Admiral says, or at least I will. There isn't a good way out of this, I can't just walk in there and kill him, at least not right now." Her eyes found John's and softened at the look of shock on his face. "Besides, he is your father and my blood as much as I hate it, and I wouldn't do that to you. So this is it, if you two want out, you need to tell me now, so I can ask the Admiral in exchange for my full co-operation, that he will allow you whatever post you wish."

Kaidan turned to where John and Jane were sitting and shook his head, "I don't know about John but I'm in for the long haul."

"Same here, Jane you're my sister and I'm not going to let you face this alone."

Jane smiled and nodded. "Alright then, let's go."

ooOoo

Jane remembered everything about that day, the smirk on the Admirals face, the smell of Kaidan's cologne, the nervous brush of John's fingertips against his blues as he stood at attention.

"Thank you for coming, Jane."

"Like I really had a choice sir," the addition at the end was more out of habit rather than respect.

"That may be true, but at least you chose to do it the easy way. Now that simple fact tells me that you've considered your options. So, shall I explain how this is going to work?"

"Before you start, I have a few questions. If I do as you say, you'll leave my family alone?"

"Yes, your precious colony will be spared."

"And my father," his eyes narrowed as she said the word, but she didn't care.

"He's a General and I can't say what action he will see, but I will not seek him out."

Jane nodded, that was as good as she could ask for in war.

"Yes, yes as for your next question, Jane the Academy is safe."

"Then I accept."

He smirked again and her gut twisted.

"You accept without knowing my full terms."

"You want me to kill Victus, what else do you want?"

"Victus is the end goal, until that point you will become the perfect example of Alliance military, I will take everything that they gave you. I'll show them that you chose us."

Jane swallowed the lump in her throat. Would the Turians just think she was looking for information? Or would they see her as a traitor? She couldn't worry about that now, she couldn't let her resolve falter. She squared her shoulders and met his gaze head on.

"What would you have me do?"

"You will present yourself as Lieutenant Hackett, you will take history and language courses, you will attend functions and answer questions as my daughter, who is thankful for her rescue and loves her brother and new life. You will also train new soldiers on Turian tactics. John and Kaidan will join the academy here as biotic trainers. And when the time is right, you'll take your team," he gestured towards John and Kaidan. "And fulfill the remainder of the agreement."

"When will that be sir?"

"When I tell you Lieutenant. Perhaps in that time, you'll come to see that I'm right, maybe you'll realise what you have to do." He stepped towards her and cupped her cheek with his hand.

"I love you, just as I loved your mother. I want you to see that, Jane. Maybe by the end of this you'll love me and the life I give you, more than your Turian captors." The gentleness that had been in his eyes faded as she stayed quiet.

"Also, aside from your language and history, you should try to fit in, you should be seen in your Alliance uniform when possible, also try to get out as much as possible, clubs, diners, I've had credits forwarded to your new account, John can show you how to use it. Also, I've secured a large set of rooms for you all at the North Shore towers. The housing is off base, but you're all trainers now and it is not necessary for you to live here."

Jane's teeth we're clinched together so tightly she was surprised she didn't hear cracking. What the hell was she, some sort of trophy to show off? "Is that all, sir?"

"No it's not; I've had an implant surgery arranged for you. It will help you control your biotics, without the use of red sand."

She flinched, how had he known about that? Was the house bugged? Would the apartment be bugged? Shit.

"Also, I suggest you find a boyfriend and soon. I want the talk about your Turian boyfriend to stop. My daughter will not be called a Turian whore."

"You mean like my mother? I'm going to take a stab here and say she was fucking Victus, and that's why you want this so bad, badly enough to make a huge production out of this, showing him that you win by getting me back, controlling me. Is that it?"

His hands flexed and he had to fight the urge to slap her, instead he clasped his hands behind his back. Staring at her flashing green eyes; she had the same look on her face as her mother did, the day he had found out, the day she had ran from him with Jane. He had known she would run to Victus, he had her chased down and shot, they were supposed to bring Jane back but the firefight had been messy; he had been assured that she had died with her mother.

Only to find her with the Turians, that son-of-a-bitch, hadn't even raised her himself, given her to another Turian, in exchange for him being a General no doubt. Everything he had heard about General Vandrel said that he was a good tactical leader. He hated him and wanted him dead, mostly for having his daughter, turning her against him. But he knew that right now, he was better off alive as leverage. The second Jane did as he wanted though, he wouldn't hesitate to finish the job.

"You shouldn't call your own mother a Turian whore, Jane. If you're asking if she was with Victus, ask around, I'm sure you'll get your answer."

Walking away from her he paused before Kaidan, "If you refuse to find a suitable boyfriend by the next time I check in," Jane held up a finger, glaring at him.

"Save your threats, I'll do as you ask."

"Then you're dismissed, I've taken the liberty of having your things moved. Report to the tower, you are all to be here on base on Monday for classes, Jane you will have your implant that day as well."

Hackett nodded towards the door and they each saluted, about faced and left the room.

Jane didn't pause as she made her way towards the skycar.

"I swear if I end up with migraines after the implant, I'm going to be very pissed off."

John glanced at Kaidan who shrugged as they piled into the car.

"Really, that's the one thing you selected to be pissed at right now?" John asked more than a little shock in his voice.

Jane's eyes flashed a warning. "Yeah, if I chose anything else right now I'm apt to punch something, and since you two are closest."

"Right, point taken, I kind of like my face like this, so please continue about the implant making you pissy."

ooOoo

The rooms at the tower were more like a penthouse, the top floor, overlooking the bay. Jane glanced around as Kaidan went to the front windows. That's all the sides were, tons of windows. He gave a long low whistle and turned back towards John.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say your family is loaded."

John shrugged, "Moms family was rich, dads weren't but he got her money when she died. Also, being an Admiral doesn't hurt."

"So, shall we go over this list of demands from our father now, Jane? Honestly most of them are easy, we can do the language and history lessons here. Turian strategy is up to you, clubs, and parties with the right people. That we can do," John eyed her, not wanting to talk about the last bit.

"What about a boyfriend, now I know some people you can have dates with. You don't have to be serious, I think dates may be enough to placate him, just act like me. Like you don't want to settle down, he's used to that. Ashley was really more to piss him off."

Kaidan turned towards them slowly, not sure what he was about to say, not sure it was anything even resembling a good idea. But he had to do it.

"I'll do it, Jane. You don't need to go date people you don't know."

"You'll do what, Kaidan?" John was standing with his arms over his chest shaking his head.

"She can pretend to date me, everyone will see us as together, no one will know. Hell even if the Admiral knows, he just wanted it to look good. It's a good plan." Even as he said it, Kaidan knew it was not a good plan, it was a terrible plan, he was offering to pretend to date the woman he was in love with. It was the worst plan he had ever had. And as he was about to take it back, Jane nodded.

"Yeah, better the devil I know, than the one I don't." Kaidan swore his translator had glitched, but there she was nodding even as John was shaking his head.

"Mark my words; this is the worst idea, ever."

ooOoo

Jane smoothed the Alliance uniform as she exited the class, making her way towards the car the Admiral had given them to use, well he had said it was hers but she refused to recognise it as such. Kaidan was already there, leaning against the side, as he saw her he smiled and she leaned forward as he wrapped his arms around her, his hand brushing low over her back, his lips brushed her gently before he kissed her fully.

"Ugh, gross, I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing that. You know the biggest problem; Jane looks way too much like me."

"Don't flatter yourself, John she's much better looking."

John snorted and shooed them into the car, "We have a party to be at in an hour, and I'm not sure that's enough time for Kaidan to do his hair."

Just as she was about the jump in the car Jane was approached from the side, "Lieutenant Hackett, a word with you please?"

Jane paused and checked the woman for a translator; her language skills were shaky at best.

"Yes Lieutenant I have a translator in, my name is Brenda Davison I'm a reporter for the Sol Entertainment network. I have a few questions if you would, your father Admiral Hackett said you'd be willing to talk with me."

Jane plastered a smile on her face as Kaidan stepped out of the car and fell to her side.

"Of course Miss Davison, anything for my father," she held the smile and motioned for her to continue.

"Word has it that you've started teaching Turian tactics here at the Alliance academy, how have the troops taken to it, and you?"

"So far it's gone over very well, the ability to know what your opponent is thinking, as well as what he is saying, without a translator is very important, I believe this can and will save lives." Every word was like a stab to her gut. She hated what she was doing; she was nothing more than a traitor.

"You've been seen in the past month at the best parties, with many notable officials, your father has said it's like your coming out party, the way things should have been if you hadn't been taken. What do you think of that?"

Swallowing the hard lump in her throat she started her next lie, and Kaidan knew it was killing her. He had never known her to lie, and in the last month she had done nothing but.

"I think my father is very generous, he's introduced me to some of the best people on Earth, and I've felt nothing if not at home."

The reporter smiled and turned slightly towards Kaidan, "word at first was that Jane Hackett was going to turn into Vancouver's most eligible bachelorette, following in her brothers notoriously flirtatious footsteps. That was until it was reported Kaidan Alenko, son of a very prominent military family, and of course the same man who rescued you also stole your heart. It's almost been a month, how are things?"

Jane took Kaidan's hand in hers and smiled that same fake smile he'd been too used to seeing lately, he couldn't even remember the last real smile or real laugh.

"Things are fantastic, couldn't be better." She leaned towards him and brushed a kiss across his cheek.

The reporter smiled, "word has it, he's moved in with you, do I smell love, maybe wedding bells in the future?"

Jane covered her mouth in a light very fake giggle, well to him it was fake, but the reporter seemed to buy it.

"You never know Miss Davison. I hate to rush this, but we have a party to get to, and I really need to change out of my uniform."

They all piled back into the car and as they drove away John couldn't help but laugh. One look at his sister to his side shut him up though.

"Listen, I know this is all insane, but you're doing really well." She rubbed her temples her implant didn't bother her, but the stress of the past month had given way to headaches and nausea.

"I know you don't want to, but we have to show up to this party tonight, no way out of it."

She nodded, "I know, the Admiral will be there, as well as the rest of the Admiralty board. Doesn't mean I have to like it," Kaidan's hand massaged her shoulder from the seat behind her.

"I'll be there; we'll make it through it."

Later that night the three sat in their apartment, the glow from the city and the fireplace the only light as they sat with their feet on the coffee table that held more than one empty beer bottle.

Jane stood, stretched and Kaidan couldn't help but admire her form in the tight-fitting green dress, she was beautiful.

Without really thinking she leaned down and kissed him, rubbing her forehead against his, it always caught him off guard, the forehead thing she had told him was a Turian thing, and something she was just used to. "Thanks for teaching me that waltz tonight, Kaidan."

He was used to her kisses, but not here, not back at the apartment, another kiss before she pulled herself up straight. Kaidan saw the look in her eyes hadn't changed; it had just been like it was outside the apartment. It had become habit. He watched her walk to her room and wondered yet again what the hell he had done.

ooOoo

That had been two years ago, as Jane stared out over the bay, coffee in hand, uniform on, Kaidan would come out of his room as he did every morning, "good morning sweetheart." A quick kiss and he'd grab his coffee; John would finally roll out of bed, sending whichever girlfriend on her way. Then it would be off to base, or if a weekend, whatever party they were to attend, and rarely a day at home that would find them on the couch, Kaidan leaned against her, chatting through the entire vid.

She had long ago realised that Kaidan was in love with her, but his attentions had never moved beyond kisses and cuddles. And really, what did it matter? Her life had turned into one huge play, a practiced part, a lie.

John grinned at her as he left his room. "Happy birthday Commander Hackett," Jane smiled in spite of herself. Truth be told, she would be lost without John and Kaidan.

"Happy birthday to you as well Major John Hackett," he nodded and dashed back into his room to change.

Jane's eyes turned back towards the bay, Kaidan was next to her, his hand feathered through her hair, she didn't even really feel it anymore. Everything was just a motion she was going through. She ran her thumb over the well worn inscription on the visor in her hand and placed it on the table. Her thoughts never far from the blue-eyed Turian.

Kaidan frowned as he watched her with the visor, but quickly replaced it with a soft smile as she turned her face towards him.

"So, since it's your birthday, I had something special in mind."

She nodded, "Okay, whatever you want to do."

He frowned again, two years he had spent his life waiting for her to open up to him, two years they had been stuck in this weird purgatory of a relationship. Two years and the Admiral had never asked anything more of them.

"I want to take you out dancing, just me and you. Then we'll go to the beach house, I'll cook, just like I used to."

That got a chuckle out of her and she nodded, "Sure why not, at this point death by food poisoning doesn't seem so bad."

Jane sighed at the kicked puppy dog look on Kaidan's face. Spirits, she hadn't meant it that way. But of course that's how he'd take it, as a personal attack.

Damn guilt, reaching out her hand she laid it on his arm and smiled. "That really would be great, Kaidan, thanks."

The night was quiet, they had skipped dancing and just retreated to the beach house, it was summer, June. She had been born in June; she hadn't known that until two years ago. So much had changed in two years. She lay on the beach staring at the stars; Kaidan rolled to his side and stared at her.

"Your father called wished you and John happy birthday." Kaidan watched as she nodded absently, her eyes searching the stars, as if she stared long enough, he would know where she was.

"He wants us engaged you know. Now that you're a Commander, he says it's the next step."

She shrugged and it twisted the knife that had been slowly making its way towards his heart for two years that much deeper.

"Doesn't matter, I doubt it will be long now. He's Fleet Admiral now, he's got almost everything he wants."

"Have you ever thought, that maybe he just wants you to be happy, Jane?"

"No, he doesn't know what that word actually means. You know that; don't act like he has anyone's best interests at heart besides his own."

Kaidan flopped on to his back and sighed. "I know that, Jane. But you know, hell I didn't want to ever do this, but if it is going to be soon, you have to know. I love you, we could give this a shot, you and I. I would do anything for you, hell I have done everything for you. I'd be good to you, love you forever, no matter what."

Two years ago Jane would have freaked out, yelled at him forced him away from her, now though she just rolled to her side and slid her arm over his chest and nestled her head on his arm.

"Kaidan, I know. I've known for a long time. I can't though, you know that."

"It's been two years, Jane he might not even be alive. Think about that."

"I have, but he might still be out there, I won't give that up, Kaidan, I can't."

She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't care for Kaidan and that the thought of just going for it hadn't crossed her mind, he was good to her, had cared for her even when she couldn't return his feelings. But that wasn't enough and she had been lying this long, a little more wouldn't hurt. There was a time she wouldn't have even let the thought enter her mind, but a lot had changed in those two years.

Their official birthday party was the next day on base, everyone was there, and as expected Kaidan proposed to her, she felt the ring slide on to her finger, felt his lips press against hers, heard the cheers. Empty words, empty thank you's, lies, and she hated them, hated what she'd become.

The apartment seemed cold and empty when they returned home that night, she had spent too much time in heels and her leg was killing her, the limp which she was able to hide most of the time was bad, and Kaidan helped her to bed after he let a very drunk John slide from his shoulder on to the couch.

Jane was almost as bad and as she stumbled to her room she pulled Kaidan down on the bed with her, she giggled and he stood placing her legs under the blanket. She kissed him and he quickly pulled back from her.

"Happy birthday, Jane good night, I love you, I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her forehead and left the room.

The guilt hit her like a Krogan charge.

When this all started, everything seemed so black and white, do what the Admiral wanted so innocent people, her family, could survive. As time went on though, and lies piled up, guilt ate at her resolve and things turned grey. And like every good Turian, she didn't know what to do with grey.

ooOoo

Sadria, found Garrus on the range, in what he still thought of as his and Jane's spot; she could see his head bobbing to some music being played by his visor. He caught sight of her and the music stopped and he jumped up.

"Hey, I didn't know you were here, is the General here?" He glanced behind her as every time they had visited before, Ganis had come with her to find him.

"Yeah, he is but he's with Andruis right now."

Garrus narrowed his eyes at her and quirked his head to the side, his mandibles pulled tightly to his face.

"You might as well tell me what's going on."

Sadria glanced around them once before leaning towards him.

"You're being transferred to General Vandrel's troops. I know you're in the middle of training another sniper squad, but you will be given a platoon under the general. You're being made a commander."

Garrus blinked and shook his head.

"Why?"

"I don't know, it's something big though, when we leave we're headed to meet up with my father."

"Where," Sadria shrugged at his question and Garrus grabbed her shoulders. "Is Jane there? Is that what this is all about?"

"I don't know, they didn't say, Garrus do you really think it could be? Even if it is, two years is a long time, if she's even alive."

He shook his head and picked up his rifle the music starting again. His talon flicked over where their names were inscribed on his visor, the same as on Jane's and his mandibles spread wide in a smile, "not nearly as long as the rest of our lives."

ooOoo

**This Chapter was pretty emotional for me to write. I almost felt bad for Kaidan, almost. ^.^**

**Thanks again everyone. Until next time. ;)**


	17. First Glance Last Love

**Because inquiring minds wanted to know. ^.^**

**ooOoo**

Garrus couldn't sleep; he had been brought aboard the Dreadnaught Talon and forgotten. Well at least he felt lost. He hadn't been away from the Academy since Jane had left. They gave him the duty of training all incoming snipers. It had been a safe assignment, once sniper squads had started to be targeted he had wondered if that's why they had kept him there, but never questioned not until now. He had questions, questions that needed answers, now.

The crew was a hive of activity, as a Commander he could move about the ship as he pleased, well that and the simple fact that everyone knew that General Vandrel was practically family, gave him a certain freedom aboard the ship.

Moving his way towards the war room, Garrus stopped dead in his tracks. Was that Jane's voice? Starting towards the room again he took a deep breath as he saw the room's doors were open, the voice had come from a large vid screen at the front of the room, General Vandrel and Victus had their backs to him watching the screen.

They hadn't been expecting him, he hadn't been summoned, and Garrus knew he should make his presence known, but his voice was lost somewhere in the fog that had settled over him at seeing Jane on the vid screen. It wasn't the short cut of her hair that had him in shock, not even the Alliance uniform could cause what he was feeling right now. It was the dark-haired human standing next to his Jane. It was Alenko and he was standing much too close. Garrus' eyes narrowed as Alenko slipped a hand around her waist and kissed her. Watching Jane's face told him everything he needed to know. She may have been smiling, but her eyes were empty, the way she looked down to the ground and then back to him, the subtle movement at the corners of her mouth. Even the way she clenched and unclenched her hands, told him that she was miserable.

Garrus' own hands were clenched in anger as he continued to watch the vid, Jane wasn't speaking Turian he realised and her voice sounded so different. Letting his eyes wander over the screen again, his eyes traveled over her uniform. A Commander, she must have moved quickly. Another thought struck him as Alenko kissed her again. If she was a Commander, the Generals must have known she was alive. Why had they never told him? Why had they left him at the Academy for two years, wondering if she was alive?

His breathing was ragged, his heart racing, deep breath, calm yourself, Garrus. But it was too late, General Victus turned and nodded towards the door and Ganis stepped towards him.

"Garrus, I think you need to sit down."

Garrus' mind was reeling; he was excellent at controlling his breathing, his emotions, but not now. Right now all he wanted was to yell, maybe break something, or shoot something. His mandibles trembled slightly as he glanced back towards Alenko on the vid, or shoot someone.

"Commander Vakarian, take a seat."

The official tone of General Victus' voice brought him back and he nodded once and sat at the table, his eyes still glued to the vid of a laughing Jane and adoring Kaidan. He wanted to be sick.

Ganis and Adrien stood on the other side of the table, watching him, judging his reaction to the news vid.

"Garrus, there are a few things we need to discuss." Victus moved to his side and Garrus' eyes shot up to Ganis on the other side of the table.

"How long have you known Sir?"

"I'm not sure what you're asking, Son."

Ganis frowned as he saw Garrus flinch like he'd been hit. He was angry, with good cause. They had left him in the dark for over two years. Locked him away, on his order no less, Ganis had known he'd have to deal with this, it was better an angry Garrus, and not a dead one however.

Garrus' talons bit into the leg of his armour and his eyes burned into Ganis', "deep breath, steady heart, and steady breathing, means a steady hand."

Ganis quirked his head to the side, it was something he had always told Jane, it was in turn what Garrus told his sniper students. He wasn't sure Garrus realised he had said it out loud. Ganis was about to speak when Victus cleared his voice and began.

"We've known for some time. Jane entered into the Alliance as a Lieutenant thanks to the Admiral. The first vids of her were some training vids, released by the Alliance, showing Jane teaching Alliance soldiers, Turian Tactics." Victus paused slightly, watching the lift of Garrus' brow plate, but he didn't speak so he continued.

"Later news vids released showed her and Major Alenko, as he is called now, at parties, with high ranking officials of the Alliance. Her grasp of the human language has grown since the early vids. You can barely tell now, unless of course you're listening for it. This," he gestured towards the screen, "is the engagement of Major Alenko, and Commander Hackett. According to this, they are to be married."

Ganis felt a stab of guilt as Garrus turned accusing eyes at him, ignoring Victus.

"You've known this entire time, and you didn't tell me. Don't you think I had the right to know? To know that your daughter, the woman I love looks like a traitor to the entire Hierarchy? That she's going to marry Alenko?"

Ganis sighed and sat across from Garrus, "You have to believe me, Garrus I wanted to. But it was classified, you know how it is."

"Right, so just leave me at the Academy. We're you afraid I'd see the pain on her face and rush off to earth and save her from this bullshit?"

Victus made to speak but Ganis held up his hand and shook his head.

"No, Garrus after Jane got to Earth, and survived her wounds; the Admiral started ordering strikes against any and all Turian Sniper teams. We think he was gunning for you. From everything we've seen in the vids, is that he's been trying to use her against us, and if my guess is right, he's using us against her. You know Jane, as well if not better than I do, Garrus. Does that look real?"

"No sir," his eyes darted back to the screen and then focused on Ganis. "She's miserable, oh sure she looks happy enough, if you didn't know her, you'd never know that she's ready to snap. I don't understand, sir. What does any of this have to do with the War? This sounds personal, why would the Admiral care about me?"

Garrus couldn't help it, his eyes flicked to the screen, and his stomach churned anew, if he could have ripped Kaidan's arm off from where it was resting on Jane's waist, and then beat him with it he would have.

Ganis shook his head, "it's all just propaganda bull, Garrus."

Garrus wasn't listening to him; his eyes were glued on Victus. His hands were locked behind his back, talons clicked together and Garrus chuckled, it was humorless and dry as he shook his head. "I'm guessing there is more to the story, sir, more that you don't know. If Victus is as good at keeping secrets as Sadria is, I'm going to guess there is a lot more to it."

With a frown, Ganis look towards where the normally very still Victus was pacing. "What haven't you told me, Adrien?"

Victus paused but didn't look towards them; his eyes were focused on the screen and Jane. Shaking his head he sighed.

"Things would have been so different," his voice trailed off and his eyes glazed over and Ganis knew he was no longer seeing Jane or them.

**ooOoo**

***Turian-Alliance Peace Summit, seventeen years earlier.***

"Anne, don't you dare look at me like that, you are still my wife, no matter how much you hate me right now and you will stay by my side."

Narrowing her eyes, General Shepard, known for her temper as well as her brilliant tactics turned towards her husband General Hackett. "I won't be a part of this; you're plotting the murder of some of the highest ranking officials of the Turian Hierarchy, not to mention the deaths of our own people. Don't you understand if you do this you'll push this War so far beyond what it is now, the Tiurians will never forgive the Alliance and if you blame the Turians, the Alliance will never forgive them. If you and General Alenko do this, the war won't end until either Palaven or Earth burns. Is that what the two of you want? The death toll will stretch to our children; this will turn into their war, because of you."

Hackett sighed and ran a hand through his greying black hair.

"Anne, they are asking for us to surrender colonies which are ours, they want us to retreat back to Earth, they even want it regulated if we can go to the Citadel. The Council is going to agree with them. We need to show that we aren't going to just let the Galaxy walk on us, if we don't do it here, then when? Besides, it's not our idea, it was given to us, and you know that. You know this is from the very top. Besides, if they accept our terms, it won't come to that."

Anne shook her head and finished pinning back her long red hair.

"Steven, give this a chance to work, don't be so quick to push this war. Things might work out for the best. Besides, we need to make it home to the twins, and there is a good chance you and Alenko not to mention myself, won't make it out of this."

"Michael and I would never let anyone hurt you darling."

He pulled her up from where she sat in front of the mirror and pulled her to his chest.

"I know things have been difficult for us since the twins were born, but it's been almost two years. We can fix this, Anne I know we can; I know you still love me." His lips found hers and he began pulling the pins out of her hair with one hand, his other rested low on her back.

Anne's hand came up and pushed him back. "Don't, you know very well that I love you, but I will never trust you again." She stepped back from him, her hand going to fix her hair. "Steven, you had me and the twins exposed to eezo when I was seven months pregnant. You had no idea what would happen, you let them do that. I will never forgive you and when this war is over. I'm leaving."

"No you won't, because I'll make damn sure your children won't go with you, they are to be placed in the new biotic school when they are six, just as Michael's son Kaidan was. They are Alliance property, and you will not take them or I will have you arrested."

Anne's eyes flashed and she stepped forward, her finger stabbed at his chest, punctuating her words.

"How dare you use our children to threaten me, Steven I've loved you since I was a girl. How can you do this to us, how could you become so obsessed that you were willing to risk not only my life, but the life of our children before they even had a chance."

Grabbing her wrist tightly in his hand he bent it just slightly, enough to see her wince and pressed his lips to her palm. "Don't act all high and mighty, Anne you damn well know that we had nothing until the Alliance. This is what I'm good at; I take orders the same as you. Now, if you're done being irrational, finish getting dressed, we have a party to attend."

ooOoo

Anne made her rounds of the party, glass in hand; her grip on it must have been a little tight because as she stepped up towards a group the glass shattered in her hand, blood trickled down her palm and the group dispersed as the glass was cleaned up, all that is, except one Turian.

The Turian glanced down at her hand and then up at her face. Taking her hand in his, and dabbing at the blood with a napkin.

"I'm not sure what that glass did to anger you, but please remind me to never get on your bad side." It was said with a chuckle that caused Anne to finally look up, she had always found the Turians fascinating, the markings, the tones in their voice, and she found herself smiling.

He held her hand, the cloth napkin pressed into the palm, her hand was cooler and smaller than his and he marvelled at the feeling of her soft skin. For a moment no words passed between them, as they stared into each other's eyes before Anne cleared her throat and looked down to where he still held her hand in his.

"I'm sorry, thank you for your help, I'm General Anne Shepard, I um, I'm not sure what happened with the glass, but thank you." She was stuttering and hated the shaky sound to her voice, what was the matter with her? She watched as his mandibles fluttered open slightly, revealing two rows of very sharp teeth. She didn't start or pull back, just smiled as she felt his talon run absently over the back of her hand.

Adrien knew he should let go of her hand, and step back, but for some reason he couldn't. The second her green eyes had clapped on him, he couldn't seem to look away. The heat where their hands touched caused his heart to skip and speed up. Her hair was an amazing colour of red, truth be told, the human body had always intrigued him, and hers didn't hinder that imagination, well-built was how he would describe her. Her waist wasn't thin like a Turians but her hips were, curvy, and he caught himself wondering what she looked like under that Alliance uniform. Blinking he realised she had spoken to him.

"Yes, of course General Shepard, I've heard a lot about you, I'm General Adrien Victus."

She nodded, and made to pull her hand back from his, but he held it just a moment longer and she blushed.

He saw the flush of colour to her face and smiled again, his brow lifting slightly. He hadn't known humans changed colour like that. He curled her fingers on top of the napkin and let her hand go.

"Keep the pressure on it, it'll be fine."

She nodded, she was a grown woman and a General, why all of a sudden did she feel like a teenage girl with this Turian General? "Are you staying for the talks this week? Or are you just part of the envoy bringing the delegates?"

He smiled as she dropped into what he guessed was her Generals voice and he placed his hands behind his back. "Ah, I am part of the Council and will be part of the talks, as I hear you are."

Anne nodded, her mind racing, if he was part of the delegates, and sitting with the Turians, he was one of the ten people, five on both sides, which her own damn husband had been ordered to make sure were dead in the fire fight that was supposed to happen. She didn't understand why, but she couldn't let that happen to him.

"Oh, I, well, I guess I'll be seeing more of you, then." There was that stutter again.

He smiled again, and inclined his head towards her slightly.

"I would like that. To see more of you I mean."

She giggled, yes actually giggled, at what she took as a lewd joke. A few others, mostly Alliance, who knew General Shepard well, and who had never heard anything even resembling a giggle out of her, turned towards them and she immediately pulled her shoulders back and forced her face to go passive.

"Yes, well, I thank you for your help, General Victus. I must be getting back, thank you again."

She turned and almost ran right into a waitress with a tray full of champagne. Dodging around her she grabbed another glass and fell in beside Hackett. Smooth Anne, she thought, real smooth. She could feel Victus' eyes on her even as Steven lifted a brow and stared down at her.

"Are you feeling well my dear?"

Taking a deep drink she nodded, though her eyes darted towards Victus, their eyes locked and there was that heat again, even from across the room.

Hackett followed her gaze and frowned. "I see you've met General Victus, long line of military in his family, war hero's I guess. Maybe I can help him become one."

Anne flinched as she watched him down the rest of his drink and set the glass aside.

She was about to protest when General Alenko joined them and she forced a smile.

"Hello, Michael enjoying yourself?"

"No actually, my wife says Kaidan is sick, I'd rather be back in Vancouver as I'm sure you would rather be with your children. We can't all be workaholics and unrelenting to the cause like your husband." He swirled his whiskey before taking a drink, and sighed.

"I'm just doing what it seems you two can't. We have our orders, Alenko damn it."

"Yes, I get that, Steve but you can't tell me it feels right. Look around, everyone is here, making nice. It would seem to me that this could be possible, you know, peace."

"Yes, but peace isn't what is important, our dominance is important, our ability to show our strength to the rest of the galaxy. Besides, you don't want to be a General forever, do you?"

"I don't really care, Steve not like you do, I just want to make it home at the end of the day to see my boy. You should really think about that, what this war would mean for them."

"Yes, it means that the biotic training won't be wasted."

"Steven," Anne gasped as his face went cold. "Michael and I have known you since we enlisted, he was there at our wedding, this isn't you, and this isn't the man I loved."

Hackett's eyes narrowed at the past tense use of the word and glared down at her. "You would do well to remember what I told you, Anne. I love you and I won't let you do this to us."

She took a deep breath, but Michael's eyes found hers over the rim of his glass, and she sighed at the look her gave her, it said 'don't, Anne, not here'. So she swallowed the words and finished her drink.

ooOoo

The next day found Anne wandering the base; the Admiralty board had called for Hackett and Alenko, but not her. Surprise, surprise she had been left out, her opinion not wanted, maybe she should have voiced her concerns a little more diplomatically but after what the Alliance had done to her and her children she didn't have much diplomacy left.

The base had been built for just this purpose, it was a neutral site, and it was beautiful, a lush jungle lay beyond and hundreds of waterfalls behind. She stood at the bridge of one such waterfall, letting the gentle mist of water wash over her. Her eyes were closed and she was lost in her thoughts when a voice next to her caused her to jump.

"General Shepard, enjoying the afternoon I see."

Her eyes opened, he was leaning next to her on the railing that overlooked the pool at the bottom of the waterfall, though he wasn't looking at the waterfall, he was looking at her.

"Yes, this really is a beautiful planet; we have places like this on earth, though the flowers aren't quite as big." She gestured towards what looked like a large lily, it was the size of a small car and Victus laughed.

"Yes, well at least it's warm." His voice faded into the sound of rushing water, and before she knew what was happening he had lifted his hand towards her face and ran his talons through her loose, damp hair.

"I like your fringe like this, er' hair. With the water and light it's the same colour as your blood, it reminds me of fire and heat. It fits you."

Anne was taken aback by this bold statement and blinked, her voice harsher than she had meant it to be. "You don't know anything about me."

She frowned as he lowered his hand and stared out over the pool of rushing water.

"That isn't entirely true, after I met you last night, I read through your profile that your Admirals gave us before the summit. Your parents were killed in a robbery. You shot the intruders after they had killed your parents, there aren't many children that could do that. Soon after you met Hackett and joined the Alliance, even though your guardian encouraged you to go to college and run your father's business, you chose Hackett and the Alliance over your father's money and business, even though you never saw any of it until the death of your uncle. You married Hackett, had two children," Anne lifted a hand and shook her head.

"This doesn't mean you know me."

"No, but it means I would like to." His hands were clasped behind his back to keep himself from touching her.

"I don't understand, I'm human, and," her voice trailed off as he shook his head.

"I don't understand it myself, Anne but if you'll give me a chance I think it's worth trying to figure out." The use of her given name with his voice sent a trill of excitement through her and she found herself nodding as he led her towards the bench to the side.

"Tell me about your husband." Victus took her hand in his, he didn't move it from where it was between them, but it was a connection.

Anne laughed sadly and sighed. "We were in love once, but somewhere along the line, he decided he loved the Alliance more." She continued to tell him about the eezo experiments and how she had wanted to leave, but she was sure that he would never let her take the children, and that she couldn't be parted from them.

"I understand, I would feel the same way if I couldn't be with my children."

"You have children then, and a wife?"

"Yes, two children, a boy and a girl. Tarquin and Sadria, but no my wife died when Sadria was born almost two years ago."

She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip, "I have a girl and a boy too. Jane and John, they both got my red hair, much to Steven's displeasure." She laughed and felt his hand tighten on hers.

"I can't see why he would be upset, your hair is amazing."

They spoke long into the afternoon, and when the sun was beginning to set, Anne hopped up.

"Shit, they're going to be looking for me and if they," the words died on her lips but Victus chuckled.

"If they find you with a Turian like this, they won't understand."

Anne shrugged and he pulled her closer to him his eyes boring into hers, "The talks don't start for a few more days, and I'm sure the top brass will be having their strategy meetings. Meet me here tomorrow?"

Even though she knew she shouldn't she felt herself nod and he smiled. "My thoughts are with you until then, Anne." He brushed a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear. Stepped back from her, placed his fist over his heart, and inclined his head before turning and walking away.

Before she knew what she was doing she'd plunged head first into this, something was drawing her and she didn't want to fight it, she'd been fighting too long.

They met like that for three days leading up to the beginning of the summit. Just talking about their family, about what the war had done to them, why they both wished it could end.

"Anne," Victus leaned forward, his head resting on hers, he had done this a few times, she hadn't understood at first, but she enjoyed the heat of his skin against hers.

"Yes, Adrien," she leaned forward and brushed her lips over his mandibles and his 'lips'. He smiled and tried to return this gesture as best he could.

"I know this is all crazy, that besides the fact that you're human and I'm Turian, we just met, but no one can tell me there isn't something real here. I've never let my emotions get the better of me, it isn't something you do as a Turian, but you, are getting the better of me."

Leaning back from his mouth Anne smiled and brushed her fingertips over the tips of his talons. "I know what you mean."

"I don't know how to ask this, but, do you think, I mean, when the war ends, Spirits I feel like I'm fifteen and just headed to the Academy. Do you think we could try this? I know you have things you have to take care of after the war, namely Hackett, but I would wait."

Anne went stiff in the circle of his arms and looked up at the sky.

"I have to go, Adrien."

He frowned, she had avoided this all day, they had been trying to understand what this was, if it was just some fling, he was used to those. But everything in his gut told him it was more, and there were few things in the galaxy more accurate than Adrien Victus' intuition.

"Can you get away tonight?" his slight nose rubbed against hers as he spoke.

"I'll try."

"Don't make me have to start another war to get to you."

It was said in humour, but they both went silent, knowing very well that they were still in a war, even though it seemed so close to ending.

"I'll find you, Adrien." As she jumped off the bench his hand still held hers and she smiled as he pulled her back into his chest, for one last kiss.

ooOoo

Anne sat in silence as everyone spoke of the coming talks that were to start officially the next day when she caught the look Michael was giving her.

"What is it, Alenko you look like you're going to be sick."

"They've given the order, Anne, watch yourself tomorrow, you know what to do."

Her blood ran cold, and as everyone stood to retire for drinks and news from Earth, Anne excused herself with a headache and ran for the hall making her way towards the Turian compound.

Victus saw her running towards him, the look of panic on her face caused his breath to hitch, and he caught her in his arms, and pulled her into the shadows.

"Anne, what is it?" He smoothed the hair back from her face as she shook her head.

"You need to go, Adrien you can't be at the talks tomorrow, Hackett and Alenko have their orders, they are to make sure this doesn't end well, the Alliance is going to blame it on the Turians, and I'm sure the Turians will rightfully blame us, nothing will end, it's only going to get worse."

His face fell in shock as he pulled her closer to him; she had just betrayed everything she knew to tell him this, spirits she actually cared. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts and think beyond the fact that she must really care for him.

"I can't leave, Anne. You know that, no matter what is going to happen, though I don't understand why they would do this."

She shook her head, "Please, if you can't get away just be ready, for me, please."

He pulled her farther into the shadows and towards his private quarters. The door slid closed behind them and he pulled her back to his chest and nuzzled her neck.

"Thank you, Anne I know what this means, you telling me like this, trusting me."

She nodded against him and he bit down on her neck gently, she moaned and leaned against him, if this was the only night they would get, then so be it, who cared, the war could and most likely would kill them before anyone would see reason. So what did it matter? She cared for Victus, she had hardened herself against love, but in the short time she had known him, he had melted that resolve and she found herself missing him when she wasn't with him. She knew she may never see him again, so she gave herself up, to one last love.

ooOoo

Anne had to leave his room before the sun was up, Steven would be looking for her, it wasn't a secret that she didn't share his bed and kept her own sleeping quarters, and she often ignored him when he called.

She kissed Adrien and he wrapped his arms around her, "Adrien, you need to take whatever steps you can, please." She pulled away from him and began to dress; he followed her with his eyes, and nodded. Their night together had seemed oddly final; like it was the last desperate act of people, who knew they we're already dead.

"Anne, if we make it out of this, contact me, use this name for me, I've been thinking about it, I can't let you go, if we live, I must see you again. We'll figure it out."

She nodded, one more kiss, and she was gone, and he had never felt so empty.

Anne rounded the corner and damn near slammed into her husband.

"Shit."

Hackett caught her upper arm and looked back towards where he had just come from ouside her room, and then behind her towards where she had just rounded the corner from the Turian compound.

"Where have you been? I came to your room last night, hoping we could talk about today, hoping you would let me,"

She shook her head and his gaze dropped to her neck and fury filled his eyes. She pulled at her collar and he turned shoving her towards her room.

"You whore, how could you? Is this what you've been doing running around with that Turian Victus? I knew you couldn't be trusted, after you questioned the Alliance. Go to your room, Anne, don't you dare come out, or it won't go well for you."

He shoved her in her room and the door sealed behind him.

Anne tried everything she could to get out of the room, she heard the screams, heard the fight break out, and they wasn't anything she could do about it.

Victus saw Hackett as soon as the fighting broke out, and the man charged right for him. Spirits, the look in his eye said he knew.

"You filthy Turian, how dare you touch my wife."

Adrien kicked the weapon that Hackett was holding out of his hand and they squared off.

"Don't bring Anne into this, you were planning this all along. I didn't plan on falling in love with her."

A blocked hit and a scoff from the General as Adrien went in for another strike.

"You don't love her, you just fucked her, what are you going to do, spread it around that you screwed General Hackett's wife?"

"No, it wasn't like that, I love her, this war was supposed to be over."

"And what, you think she would leave me for you? Do you know what I would do to her if she did that? She would never leave me."

"Only because you use her children against her," Victus lashed out, his talons cutting deeply across the face of General Hackett. Adrien saw Hackett pull the dagger from his boot, he didn't move in time and felt it sink in to his side. There was shouting, the Alliance was pulling back, a blast seperated them and he felt hands on his shoulders lifting him up and his last thoughts as he was pulled out of the now burning building were of Anne praying to the spirits she would be safe from Hackett.

**ooOoo**

***Present Time***

"That night was the last time I saw Anne, she and I kept in contact, carefully of course , she was on her way to me with Jane when she was killed by Hackett's order, I was to keep them captive until the end of the war, she would have been a prisoner, but at least we would have been together. As you know Jane lived, thanks to my men and the rest as they say is history. Anne Shepard was one of the most amazing people I've ever met, and I'll never forget her." His eyes went to the now still picture of Jane and Kaidan on the screen and he sighed.

Garrus practically had to pick his mandible up off the ground. "So this whole thing is to get back at you? Hackett is doing this all because you loved his wife?"

Victus shrugged and motioned towards the screen and Jane. "You can't tell me you don't want to kill Major Alenko right now."

Garrus' mandibles were tight against his face and he nodded. "I see your point."

Shaking his head, Ganis stood laying a hand on Victus' shoulder. "You could have told me you were in love with my daughter's mother you know." He smiled and Victus laughed.

"I had thought you'd heard the rumours."

"Oh, I had, I just didn't think they could be true, who knew a hard ass like you could fall in love."

Garrus cleared his voice and the two turned back to him.

"Not to ruin the moment, but do you mind telling me what we're going to do now?"

"I'm not sure what Hackett is planning, but he's let it leak that he's moving towards Shanxi, my guess is he's trying to take it back, and hoping we'll meet him there."

"So, it's a trap then sir?" Garrus asked his voice was strained as he wondered if Jane would be part of it.

"I think it is, and I'm more than willing to take that bait if it means saving Jane from him, I promised Anne I would keep her safe, I hope I wasn't wrong about her ending this, or I've failed."

The last bit was said so quietly that Garrus wasn't sure he had heard it, but nodded, understanding. "I'm with you sir, no matter what."

**ooOoo**

Jane leaned against the cool glass of the window and stared down at the ground. She wondered what it would be like to jump, let everything fall to the side, everything would be behind her. She knew she would never do it, but the simple thought was oddly freeing.

"One last breath, but found myself drowning, I gave myself over to the pain, that was all there was left. You are all that's holding me here. Without you I have nothing left and I would leave this world, with one, last breath." It was lyrics to one of Garrus' songs and she sang it in turian, she had given up enough, and she'd be damned if she would lose her ability to speak Turian.

Kaidan paused at the door to the front room, watching Jane lean on the glass, watched the tear stream down her cheek, he hadn't understood her words, as he hadn't needed to wear a translator full-time, in almost a year.

"That sounded sad love."

Jane lifted her eyes to him and then stared back at the ground. "Don't worry about it, I'm just tired today."

She quickly dried her eyes and turned to him. "So, what's the word? John said we're to meet the Admiral? Sounds like something big, we might be leaving Earth?"

He heard the slight hopefulness to her voice and nodded.

"Yeah, I don't know where yet, but word is, this could be it. You know, the agreement."

Jane nodded, she was deep in thought as Kaidan stepped towards her and pulled her into the circle of his arms, his lips found hers and he kissed her softly.

"Jane, I need to ask you, I need you to consider what this means. If this doesn't go well, you could be killed, by people you trusted once; the Turians won't have you back, not after this."

Her eyes stared back out over the bay and she nodded, "I know, I'm ready for that."

His eyes followed her gaze and he shook his head, "You wouldn't, Jane don't even think like that. I'm here, I love you, marry me."

His words were a whirlwind around her and she frowned.

"No, I mean it, I love you, marry me, stay with me."

She turned her eyes back to him, but the answer written there was not what he wanted.

"Kaidan, I love you, but not like that. I can't, I can't be what you need me to be, I can't love you the way you deserve. I would be giving up everything that I am, everything that I have left, and I can't do that. I won't do that, I've given enough up for this war. I won't lose myself; I know I've hurt you but," he held up his hand halting her words, hurt etched on his face, a few tears stained his cheeks.

"Don't, Jane, don't talk about giving up everything for this war. I have given everything for you. Because I love you, there isn't anything that can stop that, and when the dust settles, I'll still be here, and I'll love you, even when they won't."

She knew who he was talking about when he said they, and she was about to yell that he would never turn her away, when John entered the room.

"You're not going to fucking believe this, you had better pack your bags, we're taking back Shanxi."

They both turned shocked faces to where John stood.

There, the waiting was over, she finally had the name of the place that could very well be her last battle. The thought was almost calming as she took a deep breath and stepped towards John, one step closer, one heartbeat away, one last breath, now jump, with both feet and don't look back.

One way or another, things would never be the same.

ooOoo

**Thanks everyone, I hope you enjoyed this, it took us a bit to edit and change because I didn't want to confuse anyone, but I thought it was a story that needed told.**

**At any rate, until next time. :)**

**This is not the end by the way. ^.^ Just a jaunt into the past. **


	18. It's Not What You Know

**~~Wow, here I am, life got away on me, but I'm back. For those of you that know me, know I like to write and update on a very regular basis, so this last bit of time was killing me. I am so sorry, but I am happy to say that I see no problems here on out finishing both of my stories. And starting that new one about Thane I had mentioned. (teaser) Thank you once again for all of your wonderful comments and the love for this, and all my stories. Thank you so much for your patience. ^.^**

**ooOoo**

Kaidan sat up in a cold sweat, Jane, where was she? Without thinking or stopping he ran to the door that separated their rooms and threw it open to the darkness. Nothing, her covers were turned back but the bed was empty.

"Jane?" It wasn't a shout, more a choked whisper to the darkness in her room. His mind was running wild. What had woke him up was the dream, it had woke him up and left his blood cold and his pulse erratic. Another step into her room, a glance to her washroom, but it was also empty.

"Jane," this time he found his voice and it was more of a shout. John was out of bed and rushing through the other door, the sudden movement of the door opening set Kaidan on guard. He dropped to a ready stance, as did John. They both stared at each other a moment, sleep clogging both of their minds. Light laughter behind them caused John to stand and shake his head.

"For the love of shit, Alenko, you should know better than to make military personnel panic in the middle of the night, you could have gotten someone shot." John quirked a ruddy eyebrow at Kaidan before turning towards the door with a cough, "go put some shorts on, Kaidan, God; I really didn't need to know you sleep with my sister in the nude."

With that he was gone and Jane stood in his place. The mirth and grin on her face quickly fading at the look of pure panic written on every feature of Kaidan's face.

"Spirits, Kaidan sit down, and seriously, cover up."

Kaidan sunk down on the edge of the bed pulling the comforter over his lap. His head fell to his hands as Jane sat down next to him. The silence was deafening in the darkness of the room.

"Don't worry John knows we don't sleep together, I think he was trying to be funny. You know, it's not every day that he sees you, well you know." She elbowed him slightly, trying to draw a chuckle or hell at least a smile out of him.

Kaidan could tell she was trying to smile, he could hear it in her voice. A voice that was as recognisable to him as his own, but this was anything but funny.

"Jane, I thought you were gone. The dreams I've had, that you're gone."

Jane laid a hand on his shoulder cutting him off, "Kaidan, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. Well at least not in the middle of the night, and technically you're going with me when I leave tomorrow. So I don't think that counts."

"Don't, Jane," he shrugged her hand off his shoulder and she could feel the worry and panic quickly turning towards anger.

"Do you have a headache? You always get this way when you," Kaidan turned on her so quickly that she jumped and slid back on the bed in an effort to put distance between herself and his quickly growing anger.

"You know it's not tomorrow that I'm talking about. It's the fact that you're planning something, you won't tell me what it is, but I know that no matter how this goes you're either planning on going back to them, or you're going to die trying. Can you honestly tell me that one man's life, hell one Turian's life is worth this? You know as well as I do that the Admiral isn't just going to let you walk away from this, no matter if you do what he wants. He's never going to let you run back to Garrus, don't you see that?"

Kaidan had her shoulders in his hands and his grip was tight enough that Jane knew she would have bruises as he gave her a slight shake to punctuate his sentence.

"If we end this and you come back with John and I, this really will end. Jane, don't throw away your life, when you can have one with me. Don't kill yourself and Garrus for this. Let him live his life. The war will be over and he can move on."

Jane didn't know what to say, at first everything he was saying made perfect sense until it hit her that she would never be able to live with herself.

Keeping her voice low and calm Jane laid a hand on top of his and shook her head.

"Kaidan, this is how it must be, you understand. You've always understood, please don't stop now." She paused as his grip lessened on her shoulders, and with a heavy sigh that went down deep, to that place you shove things and lock them away forever, she decided it was time.

"I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I want to talk about Nihlus."

Kaidan's grip faltered as she felt him flinch.

"Why?"

"So you understand why I can't." The answer was given with such finality that Kaidan pulled his hands away from her and moved back.

"I'm not sure, that is a good idea." Kaidan stuttered and turned away from her completely.

"This whole thing was never a good idea, Kaidan. But here we are, and I need you to understand."

He didn't speak, but she felt him nod so she continued.

"You know that Nihlus and I grew up together, he saved me, well I'd say he saved me from school day fights but honestly we got into our fair share together, really he saved me from myself. He was the first one besides my mom and dad that was really there for me. That isn't a bond easily broken, and I'm sure everyone, I included thought we would someday mate and well you know have the whole life. War be damned, hell war is the only thing either of us ever knew. We never knew how close it was to us."

Kaidan opened his mouth to say something but Jane held up a hand stopping him. "Don't, please let me finish."

He nodded and she took a deep breath, old wounds breaking open and the guilt within pouring forth.

"Nihlus was a year older than me, he went off to the academy and it was the worst year of my life waiting to be able to rejoin him. Garrus was already there, as he's a few years older than us, Nihlus and Garrus were friends from years before." Another deep breath and she swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing.

"I loved Garrus from the moment I laid eyes on him. Don't look at me like that, I know how it sounds, but it was one of those things you just can't explain, it just, was. Of course at first I didn't understand it, I had never had those feelings about anyone but Nihlus, and to be honest what I felt for Garrus was not what I had felt for Nihlus, it was quite different. Garrus was something that went straight to the core of me. I know it doesn't sound fair, how could I do that to Nihlus, I have no good answer for you, or me, all I can say is that Garrus and I never acted on it. I never would have, I would have lied to myself because I couldn't bring myself to admit to him what I felt. His death," Jane's eyes met Kaidan's and held them there.

"His death was the worst pain, yet the biggest relief of my life. And you know why I get to feel like that forever? Because I lied to him, I lied to myself. I have to reflect every time I think of Garrus, that the only reason I get to be with him, is because you killed Nihlus. Because I didn't have the strength to tell him the truth and I will never, let myself feel that way again. That is why, that is why I can't, I love you, but I won't do this just because it saves my own hide. I don't love you the way you want me to."

Kaidan's eyes were shadowed in the darkness of the room, but Jane could tell he was angry.

"He died calling your name, Jane. He called you Janey, I heard it from his mouth before he died. He loved you, just as I love you, maybe you should have thought of him before you let your heart go to someone it didn't belong to. Maybe we should have thought about all of this, I did this to myself I admit that, Jane. But how you feel about Garrus, that's how I feel about you."

He stood taking the comforter with him and walked towards his room, pausing just at the doorway leaving his back to her. "I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"I do too, Kaidan. I should have never let this happen. If you walk away, I'd understand."

Turning just slightly, Jane could see the slump to his shoulders as a very forced smile touched his lips.

"Fortunately for you, you've found my one weakness."

"What's that? Poorly told sob stories that make me look like a horrid person?" The chuckle on her lips died as Kaidan turned a look at her that could have frozen a Krogan in its tracks.

"I thought it was obvious, Jane. You are."

The stare he gave her caused the hairs on her neck to stand on end and a very real chill to run down her spine. But before she could respond he was gone, and Jane felt a weight lift from the room and she realised her biotics had responded to his look, the blue glow on her hands faded as she whispered to the darkness. "What the hell was that?"

ooOoo

"So, what's the plan?" Jane asked as she stared out the window of the shuttle.

John stared at the armoured form of his sister and best friend. Their body language said there was tension there and he sighed. He had always known that Kaidan and Jane would never end well. But of course they had gone ahead with that bullshit plan.

"The Admiral has a forward camp; it's about twenty Klicks south of Shanxi. We're headed there, the Admiral will join us shortly, and we are to head out on a recon. Apparently we will find our mark at Shanxi."

Jane nodded, folding her arms over her chest and forcing herself to stand still. Though every fiber of her body felt restless at the thought that not only General Victus was down there, but her dad could be and Garrus. Would she be able to go through them to get to him? Could she do this? The answer was out of her mouth before she could even finish the thought.

"No."

"No what, Jane?" John couldn't see her face under the helmet, but the forcefulness of her voice had caught him off guard and Kaidan laid a hand on her shoulder, and he saw her whole body go tight like a spring as she shook the hand off.

"Nothing," the shuttle set down with a thud and they hopped out, weapons ready. They could already hear fighting from somewhere north, towards Shanxi.

Jane heard the whistling sound of mortar fire and shoved John out-of-the-way just as a blast landed among them; the blast sent her backwards into a large clump of rocks. Head ringing she coughed trying to stand. "So much for that plan of yours, John, the Turian line pushed forward, do you people not listen to anything I say? You know they wouldn't just allow the Admiral to set up shop." Silence answered her and she shouted "John, Kaidan?" But her radio remained silent, and she prayed it was just knocked out and they were still alive.

ooOoo

John was vaguely aware of hands grabbing him, no those were talons, his head was ringing and his vision was blurred. But he could just make out Turian armor. For the love of shit, here he was not ten seconds on the ground and he was with the Turians. Thank God that Jane had insisted that he and Kaidan wear translators. He tried to turn his head and fire shot down through his shoulder. Broken, damn it all, talons were searching the side of his helmet and with a click it came on and gasps filled the air, he blinked trying to see who was above him but their own helmet's blocked his view, not that he had ever met any of them in person. He heard a distinct female Turian's voice on his left. "Spirits, he looks like Jane. Do you see this, Marrus?"

"I see it, Sadria, you had better get the General."

John was struggling to stay awake but he managed a nod and practically shouted. "Jane is my sister."

Another gasp and the female Turian turned and ran down the hall; leaving the one she had called Marrus with him. "Well, any brother of Jane's is a friend of mine." Talons on his forehead and he could have sworn the Turian was smiling at him. "Is she here?" John wasn't sure if he was supposed to say yes or no. He didn't know if he should trust them, he just didn't know, but as the darkness crept in on him he felt himself nod. "She's here." And with that the world went dark.

ooOoo

Jane stood only a moment before deciding to make her way towards Shanxi. This might be her only chance. She had to get to Victus, she had to figure something out before the Admiral was there. She needed to figure out a damn plan.

She was running, trying to think of something, anything when she practically tripped over a Turian laying in wait. The Turian grabbed her boot as she tried to hurdle the prone figure causing her to sprawl to the ground. Turning over she kicked towards the chest before rolling backwards out-of-the-way. He leapt at her first and the full weight of him hit her square in the chest. Backing up with a grunt she kicked at his knees and yelled for him to stop. He didn't stop and she pushed back, attacking every point she could think of to cause him to back off. They exchanged blows until she realized she was yelling at him in Human basic. She was about to switch when a blow doubled her over and she fell backwards down a rocky cliff just behind her. As she fell she yelled in Turian. "I'm Jane Vandrel," the rest was lost to the crashing of rocks and armor.

The lone Turian stood shocked at the top of the cliff, before jumping down after her, grabbing her limp body and pulling her against his chest. Tossing her helmet to the side he gasped at the red hair he knew so well spilling into his palm and her scent still that same, hit him like a brick to the face. "Shit, Jane, why the hell didn't you tell me? Wake up damn it, don't you dare."

Closing his eyes, he prayed that she wouldn't be taken from this world by his hand. When he opened them, bright green eyes stared up at him in question. Taking his helm off and tossing it to the side the fear on her face melted and the question was replaced by blinding love.

"Damn, Jane, your hand to hand is slipping. The Turian I know would have kicked my ass, not fallen down a pile of rocks. Spirits, you sure took your sweet time coming back to me sweetheart."

"Bite me, Garrus." She laughed and tried to sit up but he held her firmly against his chest. "I think I may just take you up on that request, well when we're not in the middle of a war zone, you know, trying to kill each other." His forehead was against hers and her arms were around his neck, and it was almost as if they had never been apart. Until her lips found his plates and she kissed him and he pulled back, a question in his eye. "That's different, I almost forgot, Kaidan. Do you kiss him like that?" The frown on his face caused the blood to freeze in her veins and she pushed away from him, and this time he let her.

"This isn't really the time or place for the conversation that's going to cause." Standing Jane turned away from him, her head falling to her hands, her head was pounding, how could this be happening?

Garrus saw the fall of her head and grabbed her hand and pulled her slowly back to him.

"Given our track record and the issues we find ourselves in we need to talk about this now, I may not get another chance. I have to know, no, I need to know, Jane."

Garrus heard her sigh and felt her lean her head against his chest and his talons went to her hair as if they had a mind of their own. It was as if they belonged there, as if it was normal, to be standing together, hearts beating in time in the middle of a war zone, trying their hardest to be closer without letting the other one know.

"Garrus, nothing has changed. It was a stupid ruse, one that I'm afraid did more damage than good. You know, my heart is always with you, it always has been. Since that first day I stepped off that shuttle to the Academy."

His talons stopped in her hair and pulled her neck back and he nuzzled against her. "I know, deep down I always knew. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you that there was a part of me that wondered. I know it would be easier for you."

Jane's fingers pressed against his mouth to stop the flow of words that were threatening to tear her apart.

"Spirit's I've missed you," he sighed.

His hands moved and touched the visor covering her eye and smiled.

"You still have it."

"It kept me with you. You were always with me." She touched his visor in turn, tracing their names with her fingertip.

"Jane and Garrus," she took a deep breath. "It is still Jane and Garrus, isn't it?"

"Always and forever," he nipped her neck and she laughed pushing back from him and walking to grab their helmets.

He frowned as she turned back, handing him his. "You're limping, Jane. We need to get you checked out from that fall."

She was shaking her head before he finished. "No, it's not from the fall. Remember you said my hand to hand isn't what it used to be? We'll you're right. The limp is from the shots to the back I took. Honestly, if it wasn't for my Turian training I doubt I would be walking as well as I am now. Most of the time I can hide it."

Garrus had a flash of deep crimson on white and Jane watched the colour drain from his face.

"Spirits, I had thought I lost you. I thought that you were going to die, I handed you over to Kaidan. Just to hear years down the line that you hadn't died, but that I had handed you over to your new husband."

"No, we never mated. In any way shape or form, I swear it."

The colour flooded back to Garrus's face and he quickly grabbed her and crushed her back against him.

"Spirits, Jane, you really did stay with me. I don't know why, but just the thought that you were with him, was enough to kill me. I thought for sure I'd hear you'd had kids and my life would be over."

"No, I learned my lesson the hard way the first time. It isn't a mistake I plan on ever doing over."

He nodded, wishing he could chase the haunted look from her eyes. But their time was growing short. They couldn't risk staying out in the open any longer.

"We have to go; your dad and General Victus are back at Shanxi. We need to get going. What's your plan? Were you coming to find us?" He pulled on her hand, trying to lead her the way she had been running and she resisted, sitting back on one of the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

"Something like that, actually to be honest, I wasn't looking for you. I was trying to find Victus."

"What aren't you telling me? Why were you looking for Victus?"

Jane looked away from him, her lips pulled into a thin tight line.

Garrus frowned at the look on Jane's face, she couldn't look at him, there was something wrong, Jane had never lied to him, hell he couldn't ever remember her lying period.

She took a deep breath and looked at him, her face a mix of guilt and sadness.

"I was looking for him, so I could kill him."

The silence was palatable between them and Garrus couldn't have been more shocked if Jane had walked in and told him she had given birth to the first Turian-human child. At least that shock would have been one he could get used to.

"I'm sorry, I think my translator gliched, could you speak Turian please?"

Jane sighed; she hadn't realized she had slipped back to speaking basic, and started again in Turian.

"I was looking for Victus, to kill him. The Admiral says it's the only way he'll end this."

Garrus let out a laugh that was long and bitter; taking a deep breath he pulled himself up straight and shook his head.

"He doesn't mean a word of it, someone who killed your mother his own wife when she was with you, won't keep a promise like that." Narrowing his eyes and staring down at his talons he clicked them together before forcing himself to smile.

"Your Turian is horrid by the way. You need to work on that."

"Ugh, I'm so glad that you can find the humor in this."

"Jane, love, there is something you need to know about the Admiral."

"I've heard the rumors about my mother and Victus. I know why he hates him. Or at least why everyone says he hates him."

"Well I can tell you, they are not rumors. Victus told us himself that your mother was on her way to him with you, that they were in love, that she was going to be with him, when Hackett had her killed. You were supposed to be killed as well, once again all done to frame that Turians to force a war that had become personal to him."

Jane had gone very still, her hands clasped before her, her fingertips tapping together and he smiled. No matter how much had seemed to change, the little things were the same. She was still one-hundred percent Turian and the realization thrilled him right down to his taloned toes.

"You have no idea how badly I've missed you, Jane, spirits it's all I can do to not hold you against me and never let you go. I should have never let you leave without being marked first. I need you to be mine."

She smiled but he could tell she was deep in thought, his words hitting her but she wasn't really all there.

"Garrus, if my father sent them after my mother, and they killed her, how the hell did I make it out alive, I was six, why would they have killed her, but not me? It doesn't add up."

"I don't know, I never really thought about it. Victus said he had men looking for you and your mother; he was the first one to find you. I just figured it was," Garrus cut himself short as a Turian burst out from behind a pile of stones on the far side of him.

"Commander Garrus, I can't find either of the Generals, we need you we found," the voice Jane knew as well as her own trailed off and she was practically tackled to the ground.

"Jane, shit, how is this possible? Your brother, we have your brother. He was hurt in a blast, he's okay he's with Marrus. Shit, why in the hell are you here? Never mind, not important, let's get this figured out first."

Sadria was done talking, and moving away before Jane could even take a breath.

Garrus shrugged "She's excited to see you, I can't blame her, I'm excited to see you too." Garrus grabbed her before she could move too far away and forgetting himself pressed her hard against his armor, he could feel his plates shifting and he groaned. "Spirits damn this, I need you, Jane. You have no idea how badly I want to mark you, right here, right now."

"I know, but we have way bigger issues right now."

Glancing up to make sure Sadria had continued moving towards their smaller medevac area where he knew they would have taken Jane's brother he sighed fighting the urge to stomp his foot, something he hadn't done since he was five.

"I am perfectly aware of that Commander Hackett. But how the hell am I supposed to think with your red hair, and well your perfect everything, distracting me?"

Jane flinched at the name he used and ran to him jumping into his arms and bit down on his neck, she felt him groan and she laughed before hopping way from him. "Let's start by you never using that name again. I'm Vandrel to you, and maybe, just maybe if you ask nicely, Jane Vakarian. And if you get that part right, I may be able to help you with the rest, once we get out of this mess."

He laughed and gave his head a shake. "I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I'm with you forever."

A very angry Kaidan watched them follow Sadria down the hill, before stepping out from his hiding place.

"Wrong, but she may be the last thing you ever see."

ooOoo

Jane leaned over John and laid a hand on his cheek. "John, wake up." He groaned and pushed her hand away.

"John, seriously, I think your girlfriends are amassing an army to storm your room, you had better get up or I'm going to let them in here."

With a start John's green eyes popped open and stared into their reflection in Jane's eyes and he groaned.

"That, dear sister, isn't even close to being funny. Do you know what kind of damage a pissed off army of them could do?"

Jane chuckled and ran a hand over his shoulder.

"Yeah, there's so fucking many of them I can imagine. Marrus set your shoulder; it's wasn't broken, just dislocated. It'll be sore but if you suck it up princess, you'll be fine."

As she smiled down at the grimace on his face, she felt hands on her shoulders and a head next to hers, she could feel the mandible next to her cheek spread in a grin.

"So, little one, this is my son?"

"Daddy," she spun and threw her arms around Ganis's neck and he felt the first flood of hot tears streak down his neck as his own flowed into her hair.

"Easy soldier, I've missed you so much."

"Dad, dad, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who let this happen; I can't believe I thought this would work."

"Dad, it has to work, he's going to attack mom, the colony, D'esia, if I don't," Jane trailed off as her eyes lifted to Victus and he nodded to her. She felt the guilt stab her gut as his kind eyes regarded her. She realized that if what Garrus had said was right, that he was seeing her mother. Damn Admiral Hackett.

"Your mother and sister are safe."

Jane's eyes darkened and she pushed away from her father. "No, he won't stop."

"What is it little one?" Ganis reached out to comfort her but she backed up another pace.

"Nothing," as the word came out of Jane's mouth she caught sight of Kaidan just to the side, side arm pulled and he stepped up next to Garrus and pressed the gun to the side of his head.

"Oh really, Jane nothing huh, you tell him it's fucking nothing. He's right there, do what we came here to do. Garrus already knows, do it. Do it and end this before I have to do something you'll regret."

"Kaidan, don't, this isn't you. You'll regret it, please, Kaidan."

"Actually, Jane I think this is actually one of the few things in the past two years I won't regret. Letting you turn me away from the Alliance, falling in love with you. All things I regret, I was always the insurance, Jane. I wasn't supposed to let you get to me, when the Admiral told me to date you, gain your trust, I looked at it as service. But I fell in love with you, damn it I'm still in love with you and once these two are out-of-the-way, we can end this and everything will be as it should be. Don't make me have to kill him; you know I'll do it. Don't make him die calling your name just like Nihlus did. If you actually love him, do what you came here to do and set everyone free."

The air was so still, that everyone felt the vibration of the shot that shattered the silence. Everything slowed down, Jane blinked and looked into Garrus's eyes they were wide and on hers, but he was unharmed, another blink and her eyes locked on Kaidan, his face so angry at first had gone almost gentle again as he began to slump to the ground, and the world sped back up so much that the planet felt like it had just rocked on its axis.

Kaidan fell to the ground and Jane was over him, the blood at the corner of his mouth bubbled as he tried to laugh, but died to a gasp. Kaidan's eyes never left hers, and she watched as the light quickly faded from their whiskey brown depths.

"Jane." That was it as his eyes closed and he was gone.

Jane's eyes flew to those gathered, but they all looked as shocked as she was.

Until John sat up with a gasp, he was staring behind her as out of the darkness a figure entered the circle of light at the small med center in the middle of this war-torn landscape.

"No fucking way." Holding his shoulder John was up and pulling Jane back towards the others and away from the piercing green eyes and red hair that was much too like their own.

The ghost spoke and the group jumped at the soft voice.

"I really did hate to do that, his father is the only reason you or I, are alive today. But he gave me no choice."

A sob escaped Jane as the woman spoke and Garrus wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. But before she could find her voice Victus stepped forward, his legs trembled and he held out a shaking hand to the woman in civilian clothing, holding a rifle at her side.

"Anne?"

Jane heard herself scream though she felt apart from her body, like she was watching someone else. She felt Garrus pull her to him just as she saw Victus collapse to the ground next to Kaidan's lifeless body, she closed her eyes, willing the nightmare to end, but as luck would have it reality was so much worse than any nightmare she could have ever had.

**oo0oo**

**See you soon. **

**;)**


	19. Reality Is

**This was supposed to be posted soon after my update of 'Who I Am', to save on confusion. Sadly my area was hit by floods that caused a lot of issues. We're all fine now, and thankfully I had sent this to a friend to look at, and they had saved it. So, now that the waters are gone, and things are mostly normal. Here we are. Thanks again. ^.^**

The woman with the rifle had shot Victus and when he dropped, she turned on John; her mother was killing them all. No, it wasn't her mother; it was Jane's face, Jane's rifle that was now squarely pointed at John's chest.

Jane's eyes closed, her screams enveloped her, and when she opened them again she was in her room in Vancouver.

She sat bolt upright, sweat pouring down her back. The pale break of dawn was just starting to enter her window. It had been a dream? No, a nightmare, or perhaps something more, it was like a memory had been planted in the midst of that. Something clawing at the edges of her mind begging her to remember, but remember what?

She tried to recall what she had said, "I really did hate to do that, his father is the only reason you or I, are alive today."

Kaidan, she had meant Kaidan's father. But what did he have to do with this? Was there something in her memories of that day when she had been found by the Turians, so many years ago that was trying to tell her something? Could it be possible that her mother was alive? After all these years, could Kaidan's father know?

She bolted out of her bed and slammed open Kaidan's door. He sat up at the abrupt sound, but he hadn't been asleep, and she paused for a moment, the dream still gnawing on her.

He was alive, but for how long? Did the dream mean more than just a memory trying to claw its way to the forefront of her thoughts? Could it mean that she would be the death of Kaidan Alenko? She gave herself only the barest of moments to ponder this before she stalked decidedly to the side of his bed, and stared into eyes that no longer held just love, but something on the edge of, was that contempt she saw?

"Kaidan, I need to ask you something."

He was silent, but the barest tilt of a nod sent her into overdrive. Her words coming out faster than her mind could put them together.

"Your father, where is he? When did he leave the Alliance? Do he and the Admiral talk? Do you remember anything from when you were younger, did he ever talk about time with my mother and father?"

"Whoa, what, slow down, Jane. My father left the Alliance a long time ago, a few years after the peace summit. He never talked about it, he knows the Admiral yes, they enlisted together and he was the best man at his wedding. But, I don't know, something happened, my mother hinted at it a few times, but he never talked about it. What the hell is this about?"

"Where is he, Kaidan?"

"He and mom live in the interior; he started an orchard after he left the Alliance. But I don't understand why you're," Jane lifted a hand cutting him off.

"I'm not sure I could explain if I wanted to. But I need to see him; I need to talk to him."

John was in the doorway now, a long yawn escaped before he half-heartedly covered it with the back of his hand.

"Do you two ever sleep? And what's this about needing to see Michael Alenko? There isn't time, we leave in five hours."

"We're not going anywhere until I see him." Jane put as much finality into the statement as she could muster. Her stomach was still churning from the dream, and she was desperately trying to put together the pieces of a memory that she wasn't even sure was real.

"Kaidan, call your father, make sure they'll be home, John get the Admiral, I'll speak to him, we need a delay, we can't leave until I know for sure."

Neither Kaidan nor John moved causing Jane to shout, "Was I talking to myself?"

John shook his head, "No, we heard you, but we still don't understand. What is going on, Jane? We're all in this together, help us understand. Besides that, you're going to have to think of something pretty damn good to get the Admiral to delay this."

She paused, wondering what she could say that might make this not sound crazy. Hell it sounded crazy to her.

"I need to talk with him, because, well because I think he might know what happened to our mother."

"What do you mean what happened to our mother?"

"I don't know, John. It's just a feeling, something telling me I need to ask him. Don't ask me how or why now, just help me."

Kaidan had been silent but then he shook his head. "It doesn't matter, the Admiral will never let us delay this trip, you know why."

"I don't care; I will make him delay it. I need you to trust me, both of you. If not, this may be the last trip any of us make. Kaidan, after everything, after all the bullshit you and I have put each other through, the last thing I want to do, is kill you."

She knew how that sounded, but she had put every bit of emotion she felt into it, her eyes pleaded with him, to just accept that she needed his help again, and to just do as she said.

His eyes widened slightly at first, before he found what he must have been looking for in her eyes, and he nodded. "Alright, I'll call him."

John nodded and stepped back into the hall. "I'll get the Admiral, but what the hell are you going to tell him, that would make him delay this? And no, I'm not going to shoot you to get you out of this."

A ghost of a smile touched Jane's lips, though her eyes were hard, determined.

"Tell him, I wish to make a trip to Kaidan's father's orchard and it must be done before we leave."

He wanted to laugh, but the look on Jane's face caused the laugh to die somewhere in his chest.

"And what the hell am I to tell him we're going to be doing, out at a damn orchard? You know he won't just let us run off."

She shrugged, and the words she spoke next caused the two men with her to decide she had, in fact, completely lost her mind.

"Tell him, I'm getting married."

ooOoo

"You know, this is insane right? You're lucky that the Admiral isn't on Earth, or he'd be here, to make damn sure that ring ends up on your finger, permanently. Whatever plan you have, Jane you had better make damn sure it works. We have a week to figure this out. Perhaps now is a good time to explain exactly why we're going out to the middle of nowhere on a whim."

They had needed privacy; Jane had lied once again, and told the Admiral that she wanted a quiet wedding, with friends. And that if he wanted the rest of the bargain upheld he would respect her wishes. Lucky for her, it hadn't been hard to convince him. Now as they sat in the car that would take them the rest of the way to the Alenko orchard, she didn't know what to say, she was starting to think this might have all been a mistake, what if she was wrong?

"I had a dream." The words sounded ridiculous to her, so she knew it would sound insane to the others. But their faces remained passive, but the silence spoke volumes.

"In the dream, who I thought was our mother said something about Kaidan's father; being the reason we're alive. Well in the dream she was me, but it makes sense since I don't know what she really looks like. So I needed to find out if it was a memory inside the dream, or if I'm really just crazy." She purposefully left out the part about her killing them all and let the silence fill the car.

John was quiet for a moment before shrugging, "Sure, makes perfect sense, why not, let's risk everything on a dream because if you're wrong, the Admiral is going to freak when he finds out you didn't come out here to get married. And everything we did all this for, is going to be for nothing, because you know he'll kill everyone."

"He isn't going to find out, we'll make it look good."

Kaidan, who had remained silent for most of the trip took a deep breath and sighed, "Jane, don't you think if my father knew anything, he would have said something? Or that the Admiral would have made damn sure?"

"That's what I need to find out, and why we're here."

Kaidan lowered the car in front of an old-fashioned farm-house, and they climbed out one by one into the hot afternoon sun.

"Jane, we need to talk about this marriage thing, you can't take it this far, this isn't healthy, Kaidan," Jane shook her head as a woman came down the stairs towards them.

"Leave it for now; I'm afraid this might be the only way to save everyone I care about. Besides, I have a plan."

"Sure you do, please tell me it's a plan that involves you not getting married; you'd kill each other by the end of the week."

Jane quirked a brow, and frowned without looking at him as she watched Kaidan hug the woman, and a dark-haired man appeared on the porch, "Yeah, that's what I'm trying to prevent."

John shook his head and followed her towards the house. Not sure how much worse this could get.

ooOoo

Kaidan's mother was a pleasant woman, and an excellent cook. "I see you didn't get your mothers tenacity in the kitchen, Kaidan." Laughed John and Kaidan rolled his eyes.

His father however, was a quiet man. And after the simplest of greetings, which included a comment about how much Jane looked like Anne, he fell into a deep brooding silence throughout supper.

John and Jane helped carry the dishes to the kitchen, before returning and finding the rest of them out on the porch, watching the evening sun.

Lemonade, setting sun, rocking chairs and the steady chirp of crickets, it could have been a perfect evening, but nothing with this group was ever perfect.

Jane sat, lemonade untouched, staring off towards the mountains in the east. Kaidan nudged her and pointed.

"Those are the Rocky Mountains; remember how I told you I'd take you to see them? Somehow, I imagined it different from this."

She nodded absently as John took a seat next to them. A cleared throat brought them all out of their individual thoughts, as Michael sat down his glass and turned an appraising eye on them.

"If you would have told me, that my son would be marrying Jane Hackett, I would have called you a liar," his voice dropped. "I thought we'd never see you again."

Jane's eyes met his and she nodded.

"You knew I was alive, but you thought I would never end up back here, right? What about my mother? What happened that day?"

There the question was out, but Michal was already staring out into the growing darkness, his eyes were no longer with them as he took a deep breath, and the past came rushing back.

****Thirteen Years ago: Earth****

The data pad that Admiral Hackett had held cracked against the wall, barely missing Michael's head on its flight.

Michael barely moved, waiting, these fits of rage had been more and more frequent since Anne had filed for a separation, and taken their daughter. There had only been so much the Admiral could do about it, but now it had taken a new direction and he had his wife the General firmly grounded on Earth. That is, apparently until now.

"How dare she, she's left. She's going to him, that Turian. She's going to embarrass us all. The one thing I told her, a direct order and she ignored it."

He slammed his hand down on the desk causing the various objects strewn about to tremble.

Michael cleared his throat, knowing he shouldn't, he said it anyways, "Sir, perhaps it's for the best. Think about it this way, if Anne and Victus were to, I don't know, have a life together, this whole war, it could be over. Think how many lives could be saved. We would never have to go through what happened at the peace summit four years ago. I don't think you should go after her."

The animal fury that burned in Hackett's eyes when he rounded on Michael told him he should have remained silent.

"Is that what you think? Well then, you can go after my wife." Michael almost flinched at the spite in the last word, his friend Steve was no longer anywhere in this man before him. Only Admiral Hackett remained and he mourned the loss of his friend, the man who had once had so much compassion and love in his eyes for not only his wife and children, but for everyone. There had been a time when he would have done anything for peace. How long ago that seemed.

"Excuse me, sir I don't understand, why would I go after her? The General filled out proper forms of leave, she is not AWOL."

"I don't care, Alenko! You're going after her, you will kill her and you will bring me back my daughter. Is that understood?" Hackett was practically screaming at this point.

"You want me to what?" Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing, he really was insane. "What? You can't ask me to do that, I won't, and I would never."

"You will do as I say, or I will not hesitate to take everything you love from you. Do you understand me? Or shall I give you an example of how serious I am?"

Michael's blood turned to ice at the threat and his next words came out as a choked whisper, "You wouldn't?"

"Do you really want to take that chance? Or do you want to do as I say, before someone needs to be hurt, to show you I do not make idle threats?"

Michael deflated, and in the next moment to his shame, he lowered his head, and nodded.

****One week later: Moon Prison Varidel****

It had taken him a week to catch up to her, and she had come to a deserted Turian prison, what the hell was she thinking? Michael and the men with him stopped twenty feet behind Anne and Jane. Their backs were to him, but he saw the slight incline of Anne's head and he knew she knew he was there.

"I didn't think it would be you, Michael, I thought anyone, but you. He didn't even have the nerve to come himself."

He heard the barest of chuckles before she turned towards him.

"What's it to be then? Are you to take me back to him, because I'll have you know, I'm not going. I won't return Jane to him; you know what he means to do, to all of our children." She paused briefly, "Ah, that's how he got you to do this, I understand. What we would do for the love of our children is limitless." She quirked her head slightly at him and he tried to steel his heart and resolve against her, but her sad smile as she looked at the little girl holding her hand and then back to him, broke something inside of him.

"You're not to bring me back. I see it in your eyes, Michael. Don't do this, don't let him win, don't let him have Jane."

Before he had even realized he had made the decision his side arm was pulled and he turned, shooting the men at his side, it had happened so fast that even Anne was shocked.

"Michael, what are you doing?"

"I don't know anymore," His sidearm was now pointed directly at her. "But I know I can't let you go with them Anne, I can't. You'll never be kept a secret, he'll know I let you go, and I can't let him. He'll kill them, Anne. He'll kill my family."

The understanding in her face as she approached him, killed what resolve he had left and his hand shook before he finally lowered his weapon.

"Go, you have to go, run now before I have to do anything else that will damn me."

Anne turned to leave but Michael shook his head, "No, Anne, you can't take Jane. Leave her; I'll make sure she gets to the Turians. You can't drag a child into hiding. If what you say about Victus is true, he'll take care of her. But you, you have to run. Please don't make me have to kill you."

Anne seemed to consider this for some time, and as Michael began to fidget, it seemed that the war within her was decided.

"Alright, but how will you explain all of this?"

"I'll figure it out, a fight broke out and you and Jane were killed. He won't care about the rest. Victus will keep her hidden. Just a child from the war, nothing more," he actually didn't know what he was saying or thinking, and he wasn't sure it would ever work, but he had to try.

Anne nodded and crouched next to Jane, she pulled her into her arms hugging her and choking back the tears from her voice as she told her how much she loved her, and that she was going to stay with Uncle Michael for a while now.

Michael was on the brink of tears when she finally stood and turned to him.

"I've told her that her father is dead, you know that. When we were first separated, four years ago, and I wouldn't let him see her, before he had me grounded. I've threatened anyone who dared to tell her with a court-martial. I thought it would be better that way. I wonder now if it wasn't just my anger at him. But I suppose it's too late now. Soon it won't matter."

Michael nodded, "I won't take her back to him, if that's what you're trying to ask me. I give you my word I will see her to the Turian envoy."

She nodded, seemingly satisfied and moved to walk away from them, but reaching out a hand Michael stilled her and asked, "Anne, do you regret it?"

Without looking back at him, she took another step and then shook her head, "No, the only thing I regret is that I couldn't get John away from him too."

Without another word or another glance back, she was gone, and he was left with a very tired Jane staring up at him, her hand held out for his.

She wasn't crying and he didn't understand why, even he felt like crying, yet this child just stared up at him, trusting him; the very man that had just destroyed her life.

It was another hour before the Turians approached the location; Michael had hidden the bodies of the soldiers he had killed, just another part of the lie he thought, as they stopped in front of him, their eyes scanning the surroundings, there were three of them and they had no fear of the single man with a child.

"We were told that it would be a woman and child."

"She was killed before we could get to this point, I'm a friend. This is the child; I was told you would take her to Victus."

The Turians nodded, and took the sleeping child from him, before turning directly and walking away.

He wanted to ask if she would be okay, but the words died in his throat as the Turians disappeared into the dark.

****Present Time****

Jane was silent as Michael finished, and turned his eyes away from the now dark landscape, and back to them.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I did what I thought was best at the time."

Jane remained silent, she had been right, it wasn't just a dream, well most of it had been, but inside of it, it had been a memory, she thought. Oh spirits...she had been right, what about everything else?

John was anything but silent though; he had jumped up in the middle of the story and hadn't stopped pacing since.

"That son-of-a-bitch, he told me it was the Turians, but he sent you to kill her. Goddamn I always knew he was a bastard, but to threaten his friend's family, to tell you to kill her. I never imagined. Shit, what the hell do we do now? She, our mother, is alive."

Michael held up a hand halting his rant. "I don't know if she is alive or not, I only know, the last time I saw her, she was. That was a long time ago, and I've never heard anything from her, no one has ever heard from her, not even a rumor."

Jane released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and nodded, "Right, well she would have made sure of that. Think about it, if there had ever been even just a rumor that she was alive, the Admiral would have never stopped looking for her. I mean look what he did to get me back."

"Yes, you're right of course, but that doesn't help us know where she is now, she could be anywhere, with a woman of her skill set," he stopped mid sentence, knowing he had just answered his own question.

John and Jane's eyes locked and then turned to Michael, and in unison they both said, "Omega."

Jane stood, looking out towards the darkness of space before turning her attention back to the others.

"Think about it, the merc groups, there are tons of Alliance that have gone rogue over the years, and joined up with the various groups. She could have just been one more, no one would have ever asked about her if she was just another run away ex-Alliance soldier, willing to do anything to be away from the Alliance."

Kaidan, who had remained perfectly silent and still through his father's story, finally spoke.

"Okay, so let's say she is alive, and she did go to Omega. I don't see what we can do now, we have absolutely no way to get there, not to mention if you try to send any sort of communication the Admiral will be on you faster than a fly on shit. So tell me what we're supposed to do?"

Everyone was silent so he sighed and added, "I wish you would have told us so much sooner, dad, the Admiral is the damned head of the Alliance now. How are we supposed to stand up to that, not to mention he won't stop to think about destroying all of us where we stand, shit, dad if he knew, you and mom," Kaidan's father grabbed him in a strong hug, not letting him finish the thought.

"I know what he is; it's why I left the Alliance right after what happened. Hackett thought it was because I couldn't deal with having had to kill Anne, but the truth is, I couldn't be around him, I was sure he'd catch on to me."

The quiet of the night folded back around them before Michael cleared his throat to speak again.

"If you're willing to do this, find your mother I mean, and put a stop to what the Admiral is trying to do. I think I have a way to get you off Earth."

Her eyes met John's and he nodded, she smiled realizing for the first time how much she had come to care for her brother and what his acceptance and support meant and it warmed the hardness that had encased her heart.

"Well it's a helluva better idea than what I was planning. I was stuck somewhere between having to figure out how to kill Victus, or the Admiral, I'm not saying I would mind killing the Admiral; it's the problem of figuring out how to not cause yet more needless deaths after. I'm not sure finding our mother will help that, but I think it's something we need to do, before we blow things up completely."

Michael nodded, "Alright then, I know a pilot, he was grounded over a year ago, he's cocky and doesn't play by the rules in any sense of the word. But he owes me; I spoke on his behalf, I knew his parents and well, he's a good kid, so I kept him from getting Court-martialed on the spot. I'll contact him. As soon as I do, you need to go, tonight."

"One thing though," Jane turned towards Kaidan. "I think you should stay, Kaidan. You've done more than enough. I should have never agreed to let you get stuck in the middle of this. You should stay here; watch out for your parents. If we're about to do what I think we are. It will only take the Admiral a very short amount of time to put it together that we've run off with one of his pilots, not to mention a ship."

Kaidan was shaking his head violently even before she finished, "No way, that's not going to happen, I'm not going to stay here and have the Admiral send his men this way. Not a good idea. Besides, you may not love me, but I love you and that means staying with you, no matter what."

Jane sighed, "Kaidan, please in the dream, I killed you. Don't you understand this isn't going to end well?"

"Jane, it was just a dream, even though the memory was there that lead us here, it was still a dream. I'm coming with you; there isn't anything you can do about it."

He stared into her eyes, and finally she gave a stiff nod and he smiled, even as a cold feeling of dread settled firmly in to the pit of his stomach.

When Michael came back telling them he had arranged it all, he escorted them down the steps to see them off, "He'll meet you here," he handed her a small data pad and she nodded, stowing it away and grabbing his hand before he could pull back, "Thank you, I know what you had to do, I understand. I don't hold anything against you. I had a wonderful life, and I have you to thank for that."

Michael stood dumbfounded, unsure of what to say to that, it wasn't even close to the reaction he had expected. So instead of words, he pulled her into a hug and then gave her a shove towards the car.

"Go, and I hope to God you figure out how to stop him." He wanted to add that he had failed on the end of that, but kept quite as she nodded to him and pulled up giving him a Turian salute.

"I will, and this time, no fear. He will be stopped, this has to end. Keep yourself and your wife safe."

He nodded, hugged Kaidan and watched them leave, and for the first time in thirteen years, felt hope.

ooOoo

"Stop, Kaidan, the data pad said he would be here, but I don't," before she could finish a shuttled swooped over them and landed on the other side. The side door slid open, and before she could second guess the situation, Jane jumped from the car, John and Kaidan in tow and made for the shuttle. Sliding the door closed she turned and made for the pilot.

"Wow, I'm not sure what you three are running from, but General Alenko said it was life or death, for the entire Galaxy as we know it. So who the hell am I to argue? Besides, what the hell has the Alliance done for me? I figure they owe me a ship."

Jane hadn't said a word yet when all of that came gushing out.

"Yeah, yeah I know you. You don't have to do some kind of awkward introduction or explanation. General Alenko needed me to do this, that's good enough for me."

"Alright then, well you can call me Jane and this is John and Kaidan. And I think we may need more than a shuttle to get where we're going."

"No shit." He laughed as they broke the atmosphere and settled in around a small ship. "I took care of it, she's the latest and greatest, she'll get us to Omega, hopefully without anyone, Turian or Human catching on."

"What the hell?" John was leaning forward towards the vid screen that was showing the ship in front of them.

"Yeah, they've been working on it in secret, a lot of them. For the final push to Palaven, undetectable, stolen plans from your people," he paused turning an amused look towards Jane.

"Your father has been busy, bet you didn't know he's at Shanxi and the entire fleet, and I mean the whole damn thing, has been put on notice, when whatever happens down there that he wants, they are to move out towards Palaven and a few key other places. Full goddamn invasion of Turian space, this baby was headed somewhere called Randiv, when I called her back for 'emergency maintenance'. I'm not sure what he's waiting for down there, but whatever it is, it's big and when it happens. Boom," he motioned with his hands.

John sucked in a deep breath, "That son of a bitch was going to do it, after you killed General Victus, he was going to move out anyway. He was going to your colony, Jane. Goddamn him!"

The pilot looked between them and nodded, "Yeah, that would do it, throw them into chaos, though where the hell have you three been? It's not General Victus anymore, it's Primarch Victus and yes that would be a big enough herald to satisfy even the Admiral."

Jane controlled her breathing, even though she felt like screaming and punching something. Calmly, almost too calmly thought Kaidan as he watched her, she turned nodded.

"Just tell me if you can get me to Omega."

The pilot nodded, "My name is Joker, and that there, is the Normandy, and hell yes we can. Though getting there isn't the problem, it's the getting inside part, our kind isn't liked, and unless you're a merc, you aren't going to get anywhere fast." He motioned towards the back. "I grabbed the armour from lock up. Seems we have quite a few former Alliance who have joined the blue suns and then paid the price for it, suit up and I'll get you to where you need to be."

Jane shot John a look and he nodded, as did Kaidan.

"This isn't just personal anymore; the Admiral would destroy us all. The Turian fleet will rip them apart. This is for us all, we find our mother and we get to Victus."

John's eyes flashed, "And then what?"

Jane turned fully towards him, and he would have sworn she even looked Turian in that moment, as she clasped her hands behind her back and her eyes went cold and calm.

"We kill Admiral Hackett, and end this, no matter what."

Kaidan felt a chill run up his spine and to the base of his neck, making the hairs stand on end, as he watched her green eyes go cold. 'No matter what', echoed in his mind, if that meant his death, would he continue? He nodded to himself, yes, yes he would.

Jane turned towards Kaidan and her eyes softened, "Kaidan, thank you, for everything. Even though I know," he shook his head, cutting her off.

"Don't, I'm here because it's where I belong, don't say things we both know you don't really mean, and things that can't be. I know where your heart is, where it has always been. Leave it."

She nodded, and watched him exit the shuttle for the ship, swearing she had heard tears in his voice.

She decided in that moment, that if she had the choice, of knowing or not knowing. She would take not knowing.

This was reality though, and she thought of Garrus and her dad, knowing she couldn't go on what ifs and dreams. She would try as hard as she could to end this with as little blood as possible, but the harsh reality was, not all of them would make it out of this alive.

**ooOoo **

**To answer a big question, yes I had planned it this way from the get go. Oh and yes, I was scared. ^.^**


End file.
